(Closed) PLEASE HELP! I'm so confused and upset

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off (( HUGS ))

Gosh this sounds like a bad dream !!

Is it too late to Elope?

Nothing is worth stressing your health out over…

Remember it is all about the Marriage… the Wedding itself is not really that important…

Post # 4
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Take the dress back and ignore everyone else. I know you don’t want to hear it but you need to calm down and stop letting everyone get to you, you have enough going on and they are exasperating things.

Post # 5
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Let your Bridesmaid or Best Man know that if you don’t hear from her by a certain date the dress is going back because you don’t have the money for it and she needs to pay you.

Post # 6
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

@armychica06:  +1

Would you consider pushing your date further back in order to get the vendors you want back? If you are so unhappy with the situation (which sounds like a perfectly reasonable reaction btw) it may give you guys some breathing room and a chance to fix things. 

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@weddingdaydreamer:  It seems like they are not backing off. They are still bullying you. I would go ahead and change the date and have the wedding YOU want. You have the most emotional investment in the day, you and your Fiance.

I would stop taking their phone calls and talking with them. Let them not come. They don’t deserve it.

Post # 10
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

@LuvMySailor:  I would have to agree. It sounds like they are just looking to flex their muscles and won’t be happy no matter what. I would have a sit-down with your Fiance and decide an action plan. Most family is pretty aware of how the other member’s are, and I imagine the nicer family members will have a pretty good idea of what happened and not take offense at your decision. Some of my family is like this and I know the rest of us would certainly understand and even cheer you on for standing up to them! 

Post # 11
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

THe way my Fiance and I are planning our wedding is: You can either make it or not….you will get an invite and can either choose to attend or not…

We did NOT want to have to work around other’s schedules…I have so far made sure that anything that has been planned for wedding festivities has been planned months in advance so people will be able to attend….

My sister on the other hand keeps trying to schedule around EVERYONE else….and it’s not working….

Post # 13
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

    1. Call your preferred vendors and tell them you love their work but they are out of your budget and see if they can recommend an awesome but within budget substitution.  We do this for clients weekly.

     

      1. Sit with your honey and hammer out the details.  Make him the representative for his family.  Stop dealing with them on these issues.

       

        1. Call, email and text your bridesmaid and tell her you know she’s got a lot going on but you only have x amount of Das left before the dress can be returned.  If you don’t hear confirmation, you’re taking it back.

         

        Post # 14
        Member
        1226 posts
        Bumble bee
        • Wedding: June 2013

        Oh no Hun, huge hugs! I know how stressful it can be and how much pressure we can put on ourselves to have our perfect day the way we always wanted it. Most of us have to compromise somewhere, bend a little here and there, but this is just not right. have they completely lost their minds? this is YOUR wedding sweety, i say have it your way. if you are not looking forward to it because its not the wedding you wanted, then its not even worth spending the money on it, not to mention the emotional debt you will pay during AND after the day. i know its not an easy call to make, but if you feel that posponing to plan a better wedding is a good choice for you, i say talk about it with your fiance and go for it. respectfully and humbly inform the family of your decision (just because they have completely lost their etiquette doesnt mean you have to). just be ready to respectfully say no if youre not into an idea they pitch for next time around ;), do what you feel is right for you and your man.

         

        Post # 15
        Member
        386 posts
        Helper bee
        • Wedding: December 1969

        @weddingdaydreamer:  Wait you pleaded with someone not to make a scene and they have become more violent so you are letting them bully you?!?! What’s going on here? Why is your fiance not stepping in and saying something, you are adults, no one should be bullying you. Cut this person out of both of your lives immediately. Do not let one person bully you and if they don’t back off do whatever you have to do, call the cops if you need to. If you allow this to happen now it will continue your whole lives. Stop it now.

        Post # 16
        Member
        1226 posts
        Bumble bee
        • Wedding: June 2013

        maybe keep the guest list shorter net time around ;), im sure they will know why

         

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