- 2 years ago
Hello! My first time posting. I’m confused and unsure about what to do. A little back story. Me and my bf have been together for almost 3 years. I moved in with him just a few months after we started dating. He’s 31 and I’m 26. He has been married before for less than a year to the mother of his child. They have been divorced for about 6 years before I came in the picture. I know she hurt him badly. He’s my best friend. I love him so much. I have tried my very best to show him how much he means to me. I would leave him little notes before he goes to work and sometimes little stuff just to make his work day better. I would have supper cooked when he came home. I would tell him often how great of a man he is, how handsome and hard worker he is. I mean I would do anything to make him happy. I have been playing wife without actually becoming his wife. He knows how much I want to be married to him. Yet it has become such a big issue. We never fight except when it comes to this subject. I didn’t even find out from him he didn’t wasn’t ready for marriage, his mother told me about a year ago. After me and him have talked about it before that and he never mentioned he wasn’t ready. One thing He says he wants to marry me just not right now. I know he’s been hurt in the past but if he doesn’t see that I’m not going to hurt him like his ex, I don’t think he ever will. I don’t understand that we can live together for these years but he can’t make me his wife? Then another thing he says is let him save up for a ring, but I have told him I don’t have to have a ring right now. Even if I did I am simple it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. I don’t have to have a wedding. We could go to the courthouse and get married. He tells me no let him save up for a ring. Then he blows his money on games. Like one time over 300 for a old Nintendo game. He told me he has invested over 2000.00 in his old game collections. I don’t say anything about it bc it makes him happy. I know some may think I’m crazy for wanting to be married so bad that I don’t even care about a ring. I just want to be married to the love of my life. To be able to call him my husband. To have his last name. I try not to bring it up much but when I do bring up marriage its like a huge fight starts. He tells me he’s tired of hearing about it. I have even begged him to marry me(I know it’s wrong) but he still says not right now. I almost left a month ago bc I’m just tired of waiting and at first he got really mad and told me if I’m leaving don’t come back and then he apologized and started crying asking me to stay so I did. I don’t know if he won’t marry me bc of the ex wife? I don’t know if he still loves her and maybe that’s why? She has a bf as well. She sent him a photo once in a bikini bc she wanted to show the fish she caught. I just so happened to be next to him and seen it. It made me irritated. My thing is why are you sending photos like that to your ex husband?? Yet when I asked him to please show me a little respect and tell her not to send photos in a binkini he acted like I was in the wrong for asking him too. Then here a few weeks ago she tells him she is breaking up with her bf and doesn’t have a place to stay (her parents live not far from her) for her and her son until she can find a place to rent. So he told her they could stay with us. I would love for their son to stay but I just don’t feel comfortable with her staying but he told her yes before he told me. Luckily she worked it out with her bf i think so she didnt come live with us. It still the fact that why would she call him first before anyone about leaving and him telling her yes. Maybe I’m being too jealous. I’m so fed up with the whole marriage issue we have. It hurts me so so much. I feel so unwanted now. I’m tired of bending over backwards to keep him happy and he can’t comprise any with me. I love him but honestly I’m to the point I’m ready to leave. But I dont want to hurt him. I don’t know what to do anymore. The thought of losing him breaks my heart. He’s my best friend. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But not feeling like this. He says he Will ask sometime next year but honestly I just don’t know.