Post # 1
I’m 2 weeks away from my wedding and I am freaking out.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few months ago and was prescribed pills but my fiance does not want me to take them because he doesnt believe in mental pills (as so do i)
Anyways, my wedding is 2 weeks away and I can’t help but think I’m going to die. I literally feel like my life is ending and I have no idea why. My fiance is so great, loving and supportive. I’m so lucky to have him and call him mine. But lately, my love has been fluctuating. My love for him would suddenly stopped. Like it happened over night. I feel like I don’t love him or he doesn’t love me. and theres no bases to it. He doesn’t do anything wrong, we’d be fine having a date night, then i go home, and it’s like i don’t want to see him ever again. I don’t know why i keep feeling like this.
It keeps me up all night, do i really love him? is this love? does he really love me? is he going to meet my needs? are we going to be happy? is this it? is this the best im going to get? (even though deep down i know he is the best person ever).
there was a period of time where i would feel like i can’t love him forever so i would leave him, then i would go running back because i would get a moment of clarity where i know i can’t live without him. we went through this about 4-5 times.
i’ve been speaking to family and friends asking for advice and i’ve getting mixed answers. people are telling me to leave him because i’m having these doubts but others are telling me to not let me thoughts get the best of me.
we’ve thought about postpoing the wedding but i know it would give me a slight peace for a little bit and i’ll get this feeling all over again once planning time comes around.
this should be the happiest time in my life but why do i feel so misreble like im dying???
is it really him? Am i really lowkey unhappy with him and i won’t be able to love him forever or is it my anxiety getting the best of me and dilluting my true feelings for him?
P.S. i’m super affected by negative advice and negative talking. so please only positive response. I just need someone to tell me this is all just my anxiety getting the best of me because this is a very stressful time and its not that i dont love my fiance. I need someone who has gone through the same thing as me to tell me it will get better after the wedding and that i need to stick it through.
Post # 2
There is no shame in having anxiety/depression, and there is definitely no shame in taking medicine to help improve your mental health. These issues could definitely be clouding how you feel about your upcoming marriage. Please go back to your doc to figure out a good solution for you.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this, truly. I know that you want only positive responses, but it seems like a very, very bad sign that you are diagnosed with anxiety and depression and are planning to marry someone who does not believe in mental health medication. There is NO SHAME in taking medicine that a doctor prescribes you to help you deal with your conditions. Unless your fiance is also a mental health professional, he does not know more than a trained doctor about how best to treat your symptoms. Please take your medications and do not feel ashamed to do so. I would really, strongly urge you to reevaluate your stance on mental health medication and educate your fiance to do the same, because a lifetime of being married to a man who does not allow you to take the medication that will absolutely help you due to his backwards “beliefs” will be a struggle.
I truly wish you the best of luck and am rooting for you to find a solution with the help of a doctor that works for you to control and live with your anxiety.
Post # 4
Taking your meds might help all these thoughts. Depression and anxiety are often attributed to hormonal imbalances which can affect how you feel about just about everything and everyone. There’s no shame in taking medication for an illness. You wouldn’t be ashamed of taking an antibiotic for an infection; you shouldn’t be ashamed of taking meds for this medical condition.
Post # 5
Oh, honey. You are suffering way more than you need to. Don’t do this to yourself—the doctor knows more about meds than your Fi. Take your meds, you don’t have to feel like this.
Don’t make major decisions right now. The depression and anxiety have to be brought under control first. You may need to postpone the wedding for now, and that is perfectly ok.
Until you get the anxiety and depression managed, nothing in your life will work right. You have a chemical imbalance and the meds will restore the balance you need.
Please take better care of yourself.
Post # 6
You absolutely must take the meds prescribed. Depression can be temporary. You may not even need to take them after a certain period of time.
But the medicine dulls exactly what keeps you awake, same for anxiety. They will quiet thoughts, lessen the sharpness of the feeling of doom. What is the sense in finding something that will help what you can’t control, but not use it?
Post # 7
It probably is just your anxiety if this just started happening and you can’t think of a legitmate reason why you’re thinking this way. As someone who has anxiety, I have been in this exact place before and it’s just your mind freaking you out.
I agree with others who have said you should look into medication. I know you say you’re against it, but starting medication was the best thing I could’ve ever done for myself and I wish I would’ve done it sooner. Seek out a psychiatrist (they’re more knowledgable than a family doctor will be) and express to them your reservations about taking medication and you can find something that will work best for you together. Because it’s not going to just magically get better, unfortunately.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this right now, I know how much it sucks.
Post # 8
Also I’m assuming you see a counselor or a therapist and you should 100% make an appointment and talk to them about this
Post # 9
Are there two threads about this?
Post # 10
Didn’t you already post about this under a different name? That’s against TOS.
Post # 11
take the meds. It’ll help to reduce anxiety and depression which might be due to the stress of wedding. My Fiance started his meds just before we started dating (i knew because we were friends before dating). He said it reduces his anxiety and he was more able to relax. He went back for review after six months, and was thinking of quitting his meds. His GP agreed so he gradually went off his anti-depressant. It was pretty stressful for him and myself (in different ways) when he was off meds. The anxiety caused him to shy away from people, and his low peaks became more enhanced, and dragged longer. It was hard to persuade him to go back on meds but he eventually did go back when he realised how much calmer for him to talk to people he knows after he’s on meds. We come to a conclusion some people (like himself) might just naturally have lower levels of some brain chemical which causes his low peaks be enhanced. He still found it fascinating how the tiny molecules would cause such major difference. Depression can mask all good feelings.
So it’s not a shame. It’s alright to be on meds for a period of time. You can always go for a second review after your wedding and everything has calmed down a little.
Best wishes to your upcoming wedding. Try to relax and calm yourself down. Remember why you said yes to his proposal. Questions will arise, and sometimes when you hit obstacles, you feel different. But remember why you are with him. Happy times will come again. Decide to be happy, my dear.
Post # 12
I just wanted to pop in and say that I was fairly recently (within the last 6-7 months or so) diagnosed with “high functioning depression.” I posted about it on a post about confessions, and I admitted that I had only taken the meds prescribed to me one time because: 1. I was embarrassed, and 2. I didn’t like that they made me feel high. Several bees encouraged me to take the medicine and reassured me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about my diagnoses. So I began taking the meds and I have to say, I feel so much better bee. At first they did just make me really tired, and knowing that would be a likely side effect at first, I took a Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off of work (I’m already off weekends). I started taking them the Wednesday I took off. The first few days I slept a ton. I felt like I was high to be honest. But my doctor assured me that my body just needed to get used to the meds, and encouraged me to push through and keep taking them. He told me that if after a couple weeks I still didn’t feel right, we’d reevaluate. Well my body did get used to it after maybe a week, and I honestly am glad I took my doctor’s (and some awesome bees’) advice. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Being diagnosed with depression doesn’t have to define you.
Post # 13
So glad you stuck it out and gave the meds a fair chance to work. They can help so much.
Post # 14
thank you, bee! It really can help. I think it’s sad that some people still frown upon mental illness and look at depression as “weakness.” I hope the OP begins taking the medicine prescribed to her and that it helps her.