(Closed) please help me

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time right now. Can I ask what the red flags in your relationship were? 

Do you have family or friends you can talk to right now?

Post # 4
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Hun! Be strong!! You can do this. Resist!! 

If there were red flags, believe them! 

Post # 5
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You’re going through withdraw. It’s similar to any other addiction I think. Take some advil or tylenol, that can actually help with emotional pain like this. Only take it as directed obviously. Try to spend time with family and friends and distract yourself as much as possible. It’ll get better.

Post # 6
Member
626 posts
Busy bee

Break ups are rough and its perfectly normal to feel this way, but you’re smart to post here instead of communicating with him. These things just take time, and there’s no easy fix, but they also make us a hell of a lot stronger.

It can help to start volunteering, or exercising, playing music, writing, whatever helps. You can get through this and I promise it gets easier in time. Be kind to yourself.

Post # 8
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee

It looks like it’s only been a week since the breakup so it is still very raw for you. Keep reaching out for support whether it be to your friends in real life or the ladies on this board. Stay strong and hang in there!

Post # 10
Member
3945 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You’ve been with this guy since you were 16. When we are in relationships at a young age, sometimes we put up with a lot more than we should because we think that’s what we deserve and that its “normal”. This has been your only serious relationship, so of course you’re scared of the future because this is all you’ve known for so long. However, we grow so much between 16-25 where you are now. Your initial break up post showed that you know you deserve better. You’ve only been broken up a week and you want to contact him because you’re lonely. It’s normal. Don’t fall for it though! You aren’t ready to start thinking about other relationships yet. You haven’t had a chance to learn who you are by yourself yet. You’ve been in the same dysfunctional relationship during the most developmentally important time of your adult life.

Give yourself time to grieve, but don’t go back to a relationship just because you don’t want to have thrown away 9 years. Don’t think of it as throwing it away. Think of it as learning from mistakes and knowing what you want and don’t want in a relationship. 

Post # 12
Member
10403 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

This is totally normal and everyone feels this way. You’ll be okay, just stay strong and lean on your family and friends.

 

Post # 13
Member
3945 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You can’t keep holding on. With difficult break ups, you need a clean cut. Continuing to see him and talk to him is only going to hurt you more in the long run. 

Post # 15
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

Please don’t call him, text him, see him. You broke a relationship that long for a reason. I know it’s hard after that long together, I had a friend that was in a similar relationship (dating since they were teenages) and he was all she really knew. She debated whether or not to break it off for a long time but then she did it- it was very difficult at first but now she’s so much more happy, has another guy (she even got engaged recently) and her relationship is so much better now. He wasn’t abusive or a bad guy- they just weren’t meant for each other for a lifetime. People grow and change over time. You need to let this go and move on. Yes 9 years is a long time but you’re still very young and have the rest of your life to go. Don’t waste it on someone that isn’t right for you.

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