(Closed) Please help me. He saw his Ex.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 347
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so, so sorry, Bram. Good for you, having the courage to put your happiness first. I hope you’ve gotten your kitty back. One day you’ll find a man who isn’t so bent on pleasing everyone else that he consistently fails to throw his support behind the one person who deserves it.

A guy with parents who aren’t small-minded whackjobs would be a definite bonus, too. 😉

Take good care of yourself.

Post # 348
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Wow. I read a lot of this thread, and I’ll tell you. Wow. I sincerely hope you’re strong enough to let it go, but if she graduated and moved back to your town, I have a feeling that she’ll always be around, and he’s gonna let her come back.

He’ll be back dating her within a month, I’m sure. And then she’ll do something else to hurt him, and guess who’s doorstep he will land on? Yours. Do not open the door when this happens.

But If I’m right and she is now back living in town, where she wasn’t before, this was never gonna be over unless he wanted it to be and he obviously does not.

If you ever go back to him, be prepared, because she’s never going anywhere.

Post # 349
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve sat in the middle of an almost exact situation, one of my close girl friends was the “Satan” as you call her and your now ex-FI was one of my best guy friends who we’ll call Alex. I didn’t know Alex’s gf too well but basically Satan tried to get back Alex and as much as he claimed to love his current gf and begged for forgiveness the whole nine yards, he still secretly talked to Satan and met up with her and the shit he said to her floored me because I felt so bad for his gf. He denied it but he still LOVED Satan but didn’t know how to let go of his current gf. Satan played with his head I’m sure she really didn’t want him back but Alex’s gf was too insecure and stupid and weak to leave him so she forgave him everything that you did not and they’re still currently together but I know he’s still longing for my other friend. Men are FULL OF SHIT. period!

So proud of you Bram for being strong enough to know that you deserve better. I will tell you from experience that he is definitely not over her.

Post # 350
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hey Bram, Hope you’re doing okay !

xo

Post # 351
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

so not cool. I know this is delayed If he had any respect for your feelings or you he would not be hanging out with his ex, not taking her to your restaurant, or inviting her into your home. Thats completely unacceptable.&& he is refusing to stop talking to her? She can pursue him all she wants, he cannot control that, but he CAN control his own actions. There is no reason for them to have any contact. There was no reason for him to see her when you were out of town. if you are going to be his wife your feelings should be his top concern not some ex gf that cheated on him and sounds awful. She is clearly trying to pursue him and disrespecting you and has no respect for your relationship! Ugh i hope everything worked out and he came to his senses on how illogical his actions were. best of luck xx whatever happened?

Post # 352
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bram, good for you for breaking this off. I know it was difficult but you made the right choice!

Always remember for the future if the words and the actions don’t agree ALWAYS listen to the actions of the person. People can lie easily with words but the actions of a person do not lie.

 

Post # 353
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Bram:  I am so sorry 🙁 I feel like I’m reading my own story from 4 years ago. Granted, I was not engaged to my ex, but it’s pretty much the same scenario. 

What I did: I convinced myself to trust him and let it go. 

What happened: My ex dumped me for her (we had been together for almost 4 years), got together with her the same night and now they’re engaged (may they rot in hell together). 

What I learned: I am currently engaged to a wonderful man who I set up limits with in the beginning. We both agreed that any person whom we have had any sort of “relationship” with in the past is not to be apart of our future while we’re together. It’s just respectful, in my opinion. No ex boyfriends or girlfriends on Facebook. We don’t have their phone numbers. We don’t get together and catch up randomly. It’s just something we leave in the past. 

I know many other bees have already said this, but if he can’t let go of her to save your relationship, then he still has a thing for her. Plain and simple.

I hope no matter what road you take it leads you to the happiness you deserve! 

 

 

 

Post # 354
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I JUST saw that you left him….good for you girl!! 🙂 I hope you’re doing ok! 

Post # 355
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Let’s see how much that bitch wants to hang out with him now that he’s single. He clearly wasn’t over her, but in the way someone screws you over and damages your heart and you always want it to be different and be redeemed, so you pass up on people who genuinely care about you. I feel bad for that guy cause he still has to be him tomorrow but you don’t have to be with him! Yay!! So much luck. This suuuuuuuucks and you gave a lot to him, but now cut him out and don’t let him pick you up like a toy when he wants to play. Don’t make him your “Satan.” Go find a You.

 

And also, forget that passive aggressive nice guy crap. He just “likes everyone”. Whatever. I will never buy that in anyone. People know what they are doing. Some people just do it underhandedly, play the victim, act confused/befuddled, and do it behind a pretense of being “nice.” Your ex knew what he was doing. If he had no interest in seeing her, didn’t want that girl to want him, he wouldn’t have been meeting with her, period. He sounds messed up because of her, but you shouldn’t have to compete with a fucked up memory.

Post # 356
Member
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi Bram,

Clicking back in here…

Wow this all went down a month ago (how time flys here on WBee)

Do check in with us all and give us an UPDATE Post (maybe a NEW topic as this one has over 350 replies) … we’d all like to hear how you are doing

(( HUGS ))

 

Post # 357
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

Agree!  Update, please!  I just read through all 9 pages and I am so glad that after he saw her again you ended it.  You don’t deserve that treatment and he clearly has his head up his ass.  I hope you’re doing okay!

Post # 359
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

@Bram:  Hugs to you lady. Big, big hugs. <3

Post # 360
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’ll be good one day brams, i know it because many of us have been through this (((hugs)))

Post # 361
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

*hugs* You sounds really depressed Bram and I can’t say I blame you for feeling that way. Losing someone like this is like losing an arm or a leg. It will get better *hugs*

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