(Closed) Please help me. He saw his Ex.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 392
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You are amazing. I hope he does realise what he’s lost and i’m so glad your friends are there for you 

Post # 393
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Bram, keep up the good work and hang in there. My best friend also had a huge heartbreak and thought her world had been tilted off axis….I’m happy to report that 3 years later she is HAPPY and full and whole. You will come out of this stronger and wiser. No more wasting time with this loser, so the right, amazing guy now has a chance to find you 🙂

Post # 394
9970 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Bram:  Hugs, Bram!  I’m so happy to hear your update that you’re staying strong.  I’m glad you’ve found a good therapist.  You are now on a journey to find yourself and gain your self-love back.  Best of everything to you!

Post # 395
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My ex did that and I dumped his ass a few days later.  Do not stay with someone who is capable of doing this to you…it will happen again.

Post # 396
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i know i’m very late to this story, but i just read all of this thread (took over an hour! haha i had time to kill) and wanted to say how proud i am of you.  i can totally relate and want to share my story because it has a happy ending:

i started dating my ex, we will call him L, 5 years ago.  at first, things were absolutely perfect and things couldn’t be better. after the first year, things kind of got rocky and i felt like he was lying to me but couldn’t catch him.  finally, i saw on MYSPACE that his ex had written a whole blog about how they were hanging out and how nice it was.  i didn’t really mind his ex, but the fact that he had hung out with her (one of the times was actually on my birthday!) and never told me just infuriated me.  at first i tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but we broke up a few days later.   two months after we broke up, L came back again and with a vengeance. he brought me flowers to work, brought me all of my favorite foods, changed his phone number so that his ex wouldn’t be able to contact him, etc.  i, of course, thought this was exactly what i wanted all along, so we got back together.  things were actually great for about another year, until St. Patrick’s day (about 2.5 years after we initially started dating) when he called me drunk at night and told me that he had cheated on me with 5 different girls over the year that we had gotten back together. and when i asked about the ex and how he changed his number, he said “oh well yeah she didn’t know my new number but i have hers memorized, so we’ve still been hanging out.”

lucky for me, this was finally the push i needed. i changed my number, he came to my house to try to talk and say that he had been “lying” when he was drunk (who would even want to do something like that to someone they loved???), etc.  i didn’t fall for any of it and just kind dated a few people very casually before my now Fiance asked me out on a date.  and he is the most wonderful guy i have ever known.  all of the things that i put up with when i was with my ex aren’t even issues. i had a problem with one of the girls from FI’s past, and without me even having to ask he minimized their relationship and we only see her when there is a big party or group and we can’t really avoid her.  Fiance never would think of doing anything to purposely hurt me, and detests guys like my ex who would.

i know this was long, but i just wanted to share that you WILL find someone better. you will find the guy that you have always dreamed about and deserve.  there are guys out there who would absolutely never do this to you, and i’m positive that now that your ex is out of your life, you will find him

good luck, and i’m so sorry that you had to go through this. <3

Post # 397
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow, you did the right thing leaving him, good job.

Post # 398
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Bram:  Proud of you for seeing a counselor and finding that clarity for yourself.

Post # 400
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@Bram:  I am so late to this thread! I did read through most of it, and congrats for chucking a loser and being assertive about healing and getting your life back. Something you said really impacted me: the guy he is now is nowhere near who my best friend was. This blew my mind! This is the single REASON why leaving and taking time to be alone is good. It gives you the clarity to see what’s really there vs. what you want to be there, used to be there, need to be there, wish to be there, etc. I know it’s been tough, but I really really admire you for having the mettle.

As to making a video of torching his stuff… cheers! (I usually don’t advocate these things, but in some cases… I say WE DON’T NEED NO WATER LET THE M*^*(&*% BURN!)

Post # 403
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m not very vindictive but I would have done the same thing, good job on the shirts!!! I have been following your story for a while and I wanted to tell you are such a strong women and I wish you the very best in life, it sounds like you deserve it 🙂

Post # 404
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015
Post # 405
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You are so brave, and strong *hugs*

Well done for getting out a relationship that was making you vulnerable and insecure. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER and I know that in time you will be happy again! It must be so hard and I really do not envy your position, but you should know that we are all on your side!

I hope that things continue to improve. Stay strong <3

Post # 406
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013


I don’t blame you for destroying his crap.  What’s really the difference between throwing it away or torching it?  There was no way you were going to see him after that phone stunt, anyway, so he was never going to get that stuff back.  At least torching it was symbolic for you. 

Itseems like he just keeps showing you more and more reasons that you were right to leave him.  I’m so glad you dodged that bullet.  I’m happy that you aren’t spending one more minute of your life with a man that doesn’t appreciate you or stick up for you.  And I’m excited for you that you are free to live and ENJOY your life without the weight of his issues and his horrible family. 

Hooray, Bram!


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