- 6 years ago
Hey all, sorry if this is a lengthy post, but it’s something that I’ve been talking with roommates about lately.
Background information on me: I’m 21 years old, current college student (one more year until graduation) and before college, I didn’t have a very large dating experience. I dated someone my junior year of high school for, maybe, three months? Didn’t end well-hated him more each day, so I broke it off). I moved to a different state for college, the summer because the fall semester (which was when I would start). Started dating a guy I met there, for about two and a half months. He was okay, but I realized we really didn’t have a connection other then some chemistry, and he was NOT what I wanted long term. So I broke up with him.
Even being in those two relationships, I was a virgin. I almost lost it to the second boyfriend, but I just didn’t feel totally comfortable, and ended it before it could happen.
So once my Freshmen year started, there was a guy in my friends group that I had the hots for. He was handsome, and so sweet, and funny, and intelligent, and so much more then that. The package, basically. By some miracle, he liked me as well. We started dating-that was two and a half years ago, and we’re going VERY strong, with every intention of marriage once we both graduate with our degrees (do not want to be engaged or planning a wedding in college).
If you’ve stuck around this long (hopefully you have!) now to the issue at hand: I’ve only ever had sex with him (and he’s also only ever had sex with me!). So we were both each others first and, if things go as well as they have been these past two-ish years, we’ll be each others only sexual partner. Now, I’m going to make this very clear-I am NOT craving sex from other guys right NOW. That is NOT an interest of mine. I am perfectly okay with him being my only partner, and am very happy-right NOW (you can probably see the key word is ‘now’). I’m worried that that won’t be the case in the future, when we’re married. Now, while I’m not gorgeous or a modle, I’m not completely unfortunate looking, so I had anticipated having a good amount of sex with different people in college-I never anticipated getting into such a wonderful and healthy relationship. So, like I said, I’m worried that when we’re married, THAT’S WHEN I’LL WISH I HAD SEX WITH AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON.
I’m hoping I won’t feel that way, but I’m worried that I will. Even more so, I’m worried my now boyfriend will think the same thing. So I guess this question is directed to those who are in the same position-those of you who are married to your only sexual partner, what are your thoughts? Did you ever have the thoughts I’m worried about? Will I be (as my friends say) ‘Missing out’ by only having sex with one person? Help would be great!
Side note: I was not saving it for ‘the one’ (either was my boyfriend). We’re both angostic, so religion wasn’t a concept involved. I had just planned to lose it whenever I was comfortable.