Post # 1
Hello! I need advice on the first part of the wording on my invites. I did not think this would be this much of an issue but there are some strong opinions that I did not anticipate.
We have three options. The wedding is quite formal but not too stuffy so we have some leeway. Our parents are helping us pay for the wedding so we wanted to include them on the invitation but it’s looking rather clunky. Here are the three options (names and venue used are just the mock up examples ):
1) This is the one that I was leaning towards originaly, simple and still includes the parents. This avoids the issues with the name etiquette but our parents are feeling lukewarm about it because I think they would prefer their actual names included.
2) This one includes the parents which is important but also has us as the main host so we still seem independant. It seems like a good middle ground. The problem is that its just so many names and seems redundant. To make matters worse, we all have long names and the mothers do not want to be refered to in the traditional way (eg: Mrs. John Doe) so I will need to spell out the names so it will be “Jenny and James Henry” vs “Mrs and Mr James Henry”. ( Having “Mrs Jenny Henry and Mr James Henry” is just waaaay too long for everybody ). This also brings us to an etiquette mine field but what can you do….
3) This is the one that both sets of parents prefer. My problem with it is that is feels really old fashioned. We are in our mid 20’s so we want to show some level of independance, it feels strange to be refered to as “children”. I know this is quite common, am I the only one who finds it strange? Should we just give in and use this one even though it feels odd?
Post # 3
@peaseblossom: Could you say something like…
Jane and James Sullivan
Barbara and Steven Joyce
request the pleasure of your company
as their two families become one with the marriage of
Jennifer Sullivan and Robert Joyce
That would nix the word “children” if that bothers you. Though it does still imply that only the parents are hosting. The second one is the clearest, but it’s really awkward.
Post # 4
What about this:
Mr. and Mrs. James Henry request your company at the marriage of their daughter: Kaitlyn Olivia Henry
Noah Tristan Kennedy
son of Mr. and Mrs. Richard Kennedy
Post # 5
You want #1, your parents want #3, seems like #2 would be a good compromise. I don’t think it’s worth fighting over too much if they’re really set on #3, but hopefully they can meet you in the middle.
If the moms insist on having their first names listed, you can do “Mr. James and Mrs. Jenny Henry”, which would be a lot shorter than “Mr. James Henry and Mrs. Jenny Henry”.
Post # 6
I think #2 looks weird. It’s like too many names all in a row. My vote would be #3.
Also, it should say “Two thousand eleven” instead of “two thousand AND eleven.”
Post # 7
We did exactly what distress did.
Mr. And Mrs. My Parents
request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
His First Middle
son of Mr. First Last and Mrs. First Last
Reception immediately following at the Parish Hall
*his parents are divorced which is why their names are split.
Post # 8
Thanks so much guys! You’ve given me lots of good ideas. Ahh, I never thought little things like this would take so much time! I think I’m just overthinking everything.
Post # 9
oo. I like this wording too.
Post # 10
the only problem with this wording is it makes only her parents the hosts, and implies only they paid.
OP, can you tell us the financial breakdown of how much each couple is paying? If it’s mostly you two, do #1, if its mostly the parents do #3 or some variation thereof. I think 2 is too clunky.
Post # 11
oo. yeah your right :/
It’s mostly my parents paying (about 75%) the rest will be his parents and us. So it’s important my parents are included but when I mentioned the traditional wording of “Mrs an Mrs John Doe invite you for the marriage of their daughter.. etc ” his mother seemed a bit hurt so I want it even if possible. Not that its about money… more just showing respect. But I also don’t want us to sound like children who are being married off, were in our mid 20s and contributing as well :/
Post # 12
I like #3 or what PPs have suggested your parents invite you to the wedding of you to groom, son of…
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@peaseblossom: I think “children” sounds odd too. My parents and I all have last names so it got confusing in some of the other wordings.
We did it like a few other people have suggested:
Mr. and Mrs. James Henry
Request your company at the marriage of their daughter:
Kaitlyn Olivia Henry
Noah Tristan Kennedy
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Kennedy
Post # 14
@peaseblossom: My parents wanted their names on them as well instead of just “together with their parents”
My invites say:
spink75 and fiance (BIG LETTERS at the top)
together with their parents
john and jane smith & (smaller letters for parents)
dave and sally jones
invite you to celebrate their marriage