(Closed) PLEASE HELP!! Mismatched purple bridesmaids dress dilemma!

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: How should I handle the mismatched bridesmaids dilemma?
    Assign them dresses or draw straws to choose the style : (0 votes)
    Ask for their top two picks and hope to accommodate their choices - long dresses only : (17 votes)
    63 %
    Ask for their top two picks - long and short dresses (please explain how you would deal with the $) : (5 votes)
    19 %
    Forget it - just pick one style for everyone : (5 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    2087 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Ok so I won’t lie, I didn’t read the entire msg so maybe you already indicated this… but what about having two of them in the short dresses and three in the long?  And instead of dictating who is in which one, tell them what you’re thinking and ask if there are any that would prefer the short dress?  and who would prefer long?  Also, could you fabric swatches of the colour from them, and see if you could find the same exact colour/material at  a different bridal shop?  It might be a different colour name by a different designer, but the same colour nonetheless

    Post # 4
    45 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I only have two bridesmaids so I don’t have as much of a co-ordination problem, but I decided to go the custom dress route. The girls could pick whichever full-length style from Jasmines Bridal that they liked but both dresses have been made in the same colour. It cost around $200 each (which I paid for, just in case anything went horribly wrong) and they look beautiful. 

    My advice would be to invite all the bm’s over and discuss it with them to see what they would prefer. If they know it’s a brainstorming exercise it helps 🙂 Show them pictures if you have them too. It’ll be much easier to communicate preferences in person and faster than waiting for people to get back to you. 

    Post # 5
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I only have two co-maids of honor. But they will be paying for their own dresses from David’s Bridal. I’m hoping to give the guidelines of plum, short, and chiffon with a plum chiffon bolero jacket and they can pick what they can afford within that. 

    You could do the same. Present the five dresses, which have your color, (I’m assuming color is a huge factor in choosing the dresses) and have the bridesmaids pick what they can afford. They may end up with the same dress, but you can accessorise them differently, maybe giving the Maid/Matron of Honor a touch of sparkle to stand out. 

    Post # 6
    2880 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would let each girl pick whatever dress she wanted from the short and / or long dresses. They’ll get to pick what they want, they’ll look great and they’ll be darlingly mismatched in a cohesive way. 

    Money-wise, you could cover the dresses (or the difference in cost between the cheaper and more expensive option) so there won’t be resentment. If your budget doesn’t allow, they can pick & pay for whatever dress they feel most comfortable with. If they all pick the short dresses, your photos will still be lovely. 

    I personally wouldn’t be comfortable deciding for my bridesmaids that some needed a bigger dress budget than others. It’s a delicate, personal subject and the pptential for drama is too high. 

    Post # 7
    2488 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I can only share my personal experiance and I’ll keep it short.

    Basically. I had 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man ( 3 female 1 male )


    Bridesmaid or Best Man – 1


    BMan (  I didn’t know was going to be in the wedding till 2 months into planning- whole different story)


    BM-2 lives in denmark. She was here in June when I got engaged and coming back for the wedding in october. So we had to get her dress … very first before anything else … So Maid/Matron of Honor and BM-2 and I went out shopping.

    Colors Blue Silver and accent purple.

    She finds  a beautiful floor length dress I like- we order in cornflower- its a little off from what I want but oh well not much I can do about it. – litterally-

    So we order it about 3 weeks later  ( after she is gone) I get a call saying the dress is not avaliable in that color and they got me the next closest color. ( again not really much else I can do.

    During this I find my dress and Maid/Matron of Honor dress- 

    My Vission was Maid/Matron of Honor in dark dress and BMs in light.

    So we order her a dark Mercury silvery color very pretty….

    all three dresses show up at the same time. –

    MOH- Dress came in peacock blue

    Bridesmaid or Best Man2- The lightest shade of purple I have ever seen.

    So I had freak moments but there was no way to change either dress. …

    Bridesmaid or Best Man 1is still looking. -‘

    Then I find out BMan gets to be in wedding- YAY ! so Darling Husband askes a female friend to be a Gmaid- Great fantastic. We decide SHe will just be in a black dress to match the tuxes and BMan will do a purple vest and tie ( great cause he already owns this entire set!)


    So long story but Bridesmaid or Best Man 1 ends up being a no show to bridal shower ( 2 months before wedding) … she blocks me on facebook- wont return calls..

    ok wtf ? At th

    So I just move on and ask cousin to fill her place…. after trying and trying to get cousin to get a dress and all that drama… 2 weeks before still no dress for her. I have given up at this point…..

    She then tells me that she has just bought a dress but she doesn’t have a picture she will show me when it gets here the day before the wedding

    again WTF!!! – but also in this I just don’t care nothing matches anyway mode.

    And then 2 days before the wedding I am out to eat and my sister from denmark is here and my mom gets these HUGE eyes and then someone is putting something around my neck I think I am going to die and I turn around and my sister who lives in HI ( and who “wasn”t” coming) Is there!

    It had been a suprise and cousin was in on it thats why she didn’t buy a dress- even tho she stuck through hours of fake dress shopping

    not to thread jack but must instert picture…

    SO after calming down I’m like what about the dress!!!

    She gives me this look Foot in Mouth … well I got a dress… but… its kinda … marroon. It came in the wrong color but there wasn’t enough time to fix it ( just my luck right.)

    so I’m like I don’t fucking care my closest sister is here!!!!


    And here is what I ended up with

    4 different styles , materials , colors, cuts etc and it somehow madea nice jewley


    Hope that helps you! Even if you say… wow glad my time isn’t so stressful and awful ha!


    Post # 8
    1533 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think you’re overthinking.  See what they each want (though I would do either all long or all short).  I bet it will work out.  

    At my wedding, my 6 girls all picked from a bunch of long styles, same fabric/color– ended up with 2 of the same and then 4 different dresses.  My MOH’s wedding (which I was in) 5 BMs picked from 4 dresses– ended up with 2 of the same and the other 3 girls in different dresses.  I think mostly people will spread themselves out based on what they like.

    Post # 9
    2569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @hm_bride:  Don’t sweat it hon, only three people will pay any attention to the bridesmaid dresses – you, the bridesmaid, and their date (maybe).  I vote to let them pick whichever dress they want and it’ll look great even if a couple choose the same dress.  I want this one 🙂 http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_V-Neck-Sleeveless-Chiffon-Column-Dress-VW360027_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses so pretty.  PS I love the color you picked!

    Post # 11
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Why don’t you pick all long or all short and they can choose between those options?  You can also give them the option to accessorize themselves and they can all have their own unique look.

    Post # 12
    25 posts
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have eight maids and I also let them pick thier own dresses….I get married in March so I have no idea how it will turn out and can’t provide you with images. However, so far I will say – it gave me nightmares. I let them find a dress they liked but more importantly in thier own budget ($200 is pricey for some people for a one time use) but they all waited until last minuet. Which was were my stress was.


    However – I started a FB page, posted dresses they could pick from and each time one person bought one they would post it so everyone could keep track.


    I didn’t go the bridesmaid dress route b/c they are really pricey but if you want them to be exactly the same color, choose a designer with a larger dress pool – you can ask for something more specific. I’m sure you can find magenta in another swatch – go to a bridal store (NOT davids bridal – they will be much more helpful).


    Or choose three dresses, 2 styles for your maids and one for your Maid/Matron of Honor. It will still look different but also more cohesive.

    Post # 13
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee

    why not just let each girl choose which dress she likes best? the thing i love about mis matched bridesmaids is that each girl is wearing something she actually likes and feels good in. If it ends up being that there are duplicates, who cares!

    Post # 14
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee

    So I see 4 long dresses in the cassis colour and they are all chiffon and you have 5 bridesmaids? I woud say have each girl choose the dress she loves – maybe that means they all are wearing the same thing, maybe only 2 girls will be wearing the same one. I think you should remove the option of the short dress all together. If your maid of honour and another Bridesmaid or Best Man have the same dress just give the Maid/Matron of Honor something else to distinguish – a belt, a flower in her hair, a larger/different bouquet…

    Another option if you do want to add in the short dresses so that each girl truly has a different dress is to just divide the cost. Add up the cost of all the dresses and divide by 5. Some pay more, some pay less, but its all equal.

    Post # 15
    25 posts
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I had the same dilemma. I wanted the same material and color just diff dresses and everything exactly like you. I sent them pics of what I liked and had them hash it out, since they were paying I figured they can argue it out and it will be one less thing to worry about. They ended up picking a cute dress for them all to wear (matching) and where going to do diff jewelry and I loved it, they look great. And one less headache for me.

    But if thats not an option I suggest you go with my back up plan which is pick one of the more simple dresses like a strapless or one with no beading and have it sent to get altered a bit like put cool straps on it or add some beading, bling, belt, material or something to it that changes it enough for your taste. My plan was to have a strapless one get a see thru side strap attached with a little beading. 

    Post # 16
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I say mix the fabrics too! Did you see the photos from Molly Sims’ wedding? The dresses were totally mismatched, yet completely chic.

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