Post # 1
first time poster here, i really need any support or advice. I have a boyfriend of 2 years, we have a great relationship. I spend 90% of ,y time at his house but dont technically live there. We have talked about marriage, kids, which we both want. He had hinted he would proposed in the next year, but we werent rushing anything. We both have good stable jobs.
my bf is out of town for 2 days. I was in his office tonight and saw a piece of paper at the closet door. I picked it up and read it. It was the online printed reciept for an international package to asia, addressed to the woman he was dating just before he met me. They ‘broke up’ because she went back to asia after her holiday here – they knew each other for about a month so not really dating.
The package reciept had the address he moved into 1 year ago on it, meaning he sent the package about a year into us dating. The total cost for shipping was over $100. because it went through customs it had the contents of the package listed: few small random items and then: a pair of $500 earrings.
he mailed internationally a pair of $500 earrings to a girl he dated for a month while he was with me. I feel so utterly betrayed and sickened. I am shaking and it feels like i am going to have a heart attack. There was no sign of this, we had a great relationship. even if we didnt that still doesnt excuse this.
I want to scream and throw up right now. I am so insulted and angry and incredibly sad. I love him so so much and i want to punch myself in the face for saying that. I honestly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. Now i cant trust him.
i just need help and advice on what to do next. I am too embarassed to call a friend righht now, i feel so ashamed. i have to go to work tomorrow when all i want is to cry and sleep. I feel horrible. Should i pack up all my stuff? Is there any chance he is not a total dirtbag?
This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by bellabee3477.
Post # 2
bellabee3477: Is it possible she left the earrings at his house while she was here? Or maybe he was doing her a favor? The fact that there were earrings valued at $500 in the package doesn’t mean that he PAID $500 for earrings for her?
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. I’d ask him, calmly and without accusation, what the package was. Keep in mind that even if he was trying to woo her or something, it was a year ago. While that would suck, he’s obviously stayed with you and decided on you.
Post # 3
No, she had never been in this city let alone that address.
The fact that it was a year ago is the only tiny hope i have. Thanks.
Post # 4
Best to talk to him -calmly- and clear it up. It could have a simple explanation
Post # 5
Yeah I had the same thought. Even if she wasn’t in your city specifically, some of her things could’ve been mixed up with his & got moved to the current address with all the other stuff.
Give him a chance to explain.
Post # 6
Possible i suppose. But it was sent to her a year after they last met. I dont know. I just feel so sick, i cant sleep or think of anything else.
Post # 7
So sorry you feel this way. 🙁 Praying it’s not waht you think it is.
Post # 8
I dunno. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. Maybe she had given them to him for some reason, or left them somewhere when they were together and he was sending them back.
Post # 9
Could be. But the package contained the earrings and 6 different touristy items from our region – the kind of stuff people come to vist to get. So if he was sending a gift (which is what the customs slip called it) it would make sense to include all those items.
Post # 10
Were you actually snooping? I just find it so odd that a year old receipt was laying in front of the closet randomly. All you can do it talk to him. Maybe they were still friendly after she left and she had him purchase it for her. the only way you can find out is to ask, and make sure you don’t accuse him or cheating Right away. it might not be what you think.
Post # 11
The other day he was going through that closet and when i walked in he abruptly got up amd ushered us out of the room – really odd behaviour that id never seen from him before. So a few days later when i was in the room i saw the paper on the floor and thought to look at it. So half snooping, half suspicious behaviour. At this point not sure if i care considerng what i found. But not the best behaviour on my part.
I am hopeful i am wrong, thanks.
Post # 12
It sounds as if your intuition is giving you a pretty clear signal. I would go with that.
I think you need to talk to him asap.
I am very sorry, Bee.
Post # 13
bellabee3477: I’m so sorry you are going through this. take deep breaths, stay calm until you can talk to him. Approach him calmly and figure out what’s going on. Don’t think too far ahead yet. big hug. we are here for you.
Post # 14
I think your over reacting. My husband still has a couple things of his ex’s…
Just talk to him. Maybe he was cleaning up and found them. Thought you would get upset (hence the ushering you out of the room)and decided its time to send them on to her now that he has moved on…
Post # 15
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bellabee3477: I think it’s time you confronted him. You deserve to have an open and honest conversation with him. If you guys are really meant to be, then I’m sure he has a good explanation for this…try to be calm til there is a valid reason for you to feel he’s a cheater…good luck