(Closed) please help!! My heart is breaking

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think it’s possible you’re overreacting. There are so many explanations, many that are perfectly reasonable, that it doesn’t make sense to freak out over the possibilities. For instance, I live abroad and there are many things that are cheaper to buy online, send to my parent’s house in the states and then have them send it here (since many stores don’t offer international shipping). As mentioned above, the custom slip only needs to state the value of the goods, not who purchased them. Maybe she used his address so she could get herself some nice earrings. Or maybe she left them when she visited and he only recently found them.

“Confronting him” sounds too strong… I think you just need to say that you found this and are wondering what it was. The key here is to stay calm and listen to what he has to say… it’s possible that this also happened a year ago and whatever situation he was in now isn’t true today. Until you do that there’s not much else you can do, except speculate which will drive you crazy.

 

Post # 17
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe where she bought them from wouldn’t deliver to her country? I’ve had things shipped to friends in the states before and got them to forward them on to me as a favour. 

Post # 18
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re going to have to find a pretty tough balance here- being open minded enough to realize there may indeed be an innocent, rational explanation while also not allowing him to pull the wool over your eyes if you do have justifiable reason for suspicion.

I have family and friends spread out all over the place, and I can tell you first hand there are innocent reasons. I’ve been shipping a package to Asia or Europe & have asked others who also know the person if they want to add an item or two to the package. The package could have contained stuff from 2-3 people and your Boyfriend or Best Friend was the one to ship it simply because his work was nearest the post office or some other plausible reason. I’ve also ordered things online to someone else’s address. If he only knew this girl a month, he may view her as a friend not an ex and not feel he’s doing any disrespect to you by keeping in touch. They may have other mutual friends.

But you also say he acted suspiciously and to be honest I’d have questions in your position, definitely. What is your instinct telling you? You need to have a straight forward talk with him.

Post # 19
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t ‘confront’ him but, I’d certainly ask some questions.. Especially since you noticed shifty behavior prior to this.. With him shuffling you out of the room that this incriminating receipt was found in.

Post # 20
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It’s also possible that he over stated the value of the earrings for insurance reasons. If the package got lost he/she could have claimed the value stated. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Post # 21
Member
1228 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Keeping in touch with an ex one year in to dating would not sit well with me, especially keeping it hidden.  It would make me wonder if they were still ttalking.

Post # 22
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’re just going to have to have a talk with him, calmly. That’s really your only option.

Post # 24
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

bellabee3477:  HOLD UP.. He previously sent a different ex an $800 gift? That does not look good, what did he say when you found out about that one or was he forthcoming with the information?

Post # 25
Member
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

bellabee3477:  so you think he is conducting a long distance relationship with his ex? It seems odd that he would be spending money on someone he dated for a month.

Idk, the whole situation is weird and girl, you know you went into that closet to find what he was hiding. Nothing wrong with that but in order to get a full picture you need to lay out what happened. where was this paper? Why would it be out in the floor after a year? What else is in the closet? Is the closet locked? 

Post # 26
Member
2754 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like he gives good partng gifts!

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