(Closed) PLEASE HELP! My TOXIC older Sister and Her friends are THREATENING ME!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your sister sounds extremely toxic and I would avoid her and her friends like the plague. There is no hope for people like that and sometimes the most toxic people are our relatives.  Block her and her friends from your FB page and concentrate on making your wedding a true celebration of your love!

Post # 18
8 posts

I’m so sorry to read this. Please try and stay strong. I’m also going through an epic family crisis that I have posted on here and would like to say i know how you feel – but yours is so so much more worse!! 🙁

Try and focus on your own well being and own success. You do not deserve this and have not done anything wrong. She may be a sister by blood but if that’s all you need her to be, then that’s your choice – i say cut.her.out. It sounds like she really needs some help. It’s one thing to bitch about sisters and make them feel crap. But calling your WORK to try and get you fired? She does not sound mentally well.

Keep your friends close, they will love you no matter what.

Are you parents around to have an opinion on this? x

Post # 19
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would say it’s time to cut contact with your sister and drop them all from Facebook, that’s what the block is for. Seriously she can’t continue the drama if your not participating. Maybe someday she will get help ,until then live your life drama free.

Post # 20
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I am an attractive young woman, in great shape…And being called gross by women who don’t shower, and are at LEAST 40 pounds overweight! The Humanity! <– Agree, this statement is projecting an elitist view towards overweight people, and things can get ugly pretty quickly. Showering, people have total control over, but not every case of being overweight is due to “hand-to-mouth” behavior. This is a slippery slope, and I’d be careful…

Moving on, OP: I’m sorry you are in this scenario. I grew up with a sister who wasn’t the nicest person to me either, but yours takes the cake. If you want the situation to stop, my suggestion is to not engage her at all. If she starts, tell her in some form of trackable communication that you wish for her to stop  contacting you. Call the police to file a report on harassment. This is no way to live. Same with your sister’s friends. 

Furthermore, this is abuse. I don’t know how long you’ve grown up with it, but I recommend you look into the book, “Adult Children of Abusive Parents” by Steven Farmer. Even though she isn’t your parent, she still verbally abused you. This book will give you insight on how to transcend the emotional hurt.

Post # 21
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@RVG1010:  um….this is how it reads exactly. I’ve seen a lot of threads on here go downhill because of a badly written sentence here or there….I was simply trying to warn the OP to proof read.

Post # 22
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@GoldenBeauty2202012:  your sister sounds crazy.  stay away.  break all contact.  are your parents around?  do they know about her behaviour?  maybe you should talk to them about your sister’s actions.

Post # 23
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

As the others said, change your facebook settings so that you cannot be abused in this way and report all abusive behaviour to the authorities if this continues. Keep a record of all communications.

My short and sweet advice to you would be to tell her to “f*** off” and then never speak to her again. But I know from experience that this is a very difficult thing to do to a family member. You do, however, need to keep your emotional distance from her. That takes time and practise, and I certainly wasn’t able to do it at 21. By your late 20s though, it does become easier to maintain your expectations for a toxic person and keep them in your life in a way which stops them from getting too close (that is, if that is what you wish). There are no short cuts for that… just time, patience and heartache.

I also wouldn’t worry too much about getting the police involved. You generally have to get some authority or other involved at some stage when a family member is this toxic. You may well feel a certain guilt associated with that, but I think you either realise now, or will realise soon, that it will be inevitable at some stage. Good luck!

Post # 24
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this, your sister is toxic to put it mildly. Could you block her and her psycho friends from sending you FB messages and keep all the evidence that you can, they are harassing you. Clearly your sister is jealous of you, and she clearly needs help to deal with whatever f-d up issues she has in her own head. Cut all contact if possible x

Post # 25
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sounds toxic to me.

There is a lot of truth in the adage that you can choose your friends, but not your family.

You do not have any obligation to deal with someone who has such venom. I am sure it is all based on jealousy and some emotional instability on her part.

I have all but cut my only brother out of my life for shitty behaviour towards me, and I feel your pain. 


Hugs OP.

Post # 26
23 posts

What a horrible person! I am so sorry that you’re having to deal with that. My mom’s relationship with her sister was like that – they don’t have contact now though. I am very sorry for you

Post # 27
5 posts
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sorry if you dont mind me saying this but your sister is a great losser! And she don’t deserve you. In my experience , it is something you have that she don’t and thats why she dislikes you this much . Have you tried talking to her about it in person yet? Maybe ask your Fiance ,your Parent,your sister and her husband to have a sitdown lunch if possible and talk to her about how you feel and ask her why she acts like this towards you. If she don’t want to and don’t change after the disscusion than least you tried your best to make things work. Be strong girl!

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