Post # 1
Ok- so this may be long and jumbled, but I honestly need some perspective.
I am currently the breadwinner in my relationship. My SO makes fine money, but I make more. No big deal for either one of us. I’m currently finishing up my Masters and he will graduate with his Bachelors in a year or so. My FI is a volunteer Firefighter and an Animal Control Officer. Emergency Services is his thing. He was just offered a job as a 911 dispatcher, which would pay about $15,000 more a year that he makes now. While it would be AMAZING to have EXTRA (what is that?) money around, we are doing fine now. Not bad, not great, just fine. We make it work. We pay all our bills, including our mortgage, fine- we save every paycheck for our wedding. If he took this job, the money we save for our mortgage could go into our wedding, or other great things.
The issue comes in that it would be third shift 7am-7pm. I work Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. He would only work 15 days a month, with rotating weekends, but still third shift. Also, we most likely would not be taking a Honeymoon after our wedding, as it would be unlikely he could get a whole week off. I know this doesn’t sound all that bad, but he worked a third shift job before that he more than hated and I can’t say I enjoyed going to bed and waking up alone.
A week ago, before we knew anything about this job, we were doing fine. Making our budget work, but now, now that that much more money a year has been dangled in our face, it’s hard for me not to scream at him to take it. But above all else, I just want him to be happy. I just feel like going outside taking a few hulkamania screams and drinking one maybe two bottles of wine tonight. 🙂
Post # 3
I wouldn’t do it. No amount of money is worth third shift for me. Blech.
Post # 4
Do you mean 7pm to 7am? If so, that wouldn’t be worth 15K to me.
Post # 5
@lexmek27: Yeah, I’m with PP… No go.
Post # 7
He’s going to have to make this decision. Third shift is very hard on some people – I tried it for almost a year and hated it. My ex FIL, however, always loved third. Don’t get too hung up on the sleeping alone thing – he’ll only be working two weeks out of the month. You might find you have more time together than you did before. I say let him think long and hard about what he wants, and support his decision, whatever it is.
Post # 8
my Dh worked nights (10pm-8am) at a pharmacy– he worked 70 hrs a week and got paid for 80 — so he had every other week off. He did this for almsot 2 years
he HATED it. he was so miserable. I felt like we never saw each other (even during his week off), I hated creeping around the house during the day so he could sleep. His health was worse (horrible headaches, sleep problems, moodiness). We fought ALL the time.
He has been working a normal 1st shift the last year and we are so so much happier. He took a pay cut too but it was def worth it.
Post # 9
@lexmek27: 7 pm to 7 am when you are already doing just fine? Nope…never. Not worth it.
Post # 10
@lexmek27: FI works 3rd shift right now – 9 PM-5:30 AM. On top of this, he works about an hour away. I met him when he worked this shift, so we don’t know any different, but I will say, it works for us. I work normal 8-5 hours and we have a little bit of time together in the evenings so we can eat dinner at the same time. I must admit, it is nice to have him to wake up to rather than an alarm clock. I have two kids, so I spend the nights with them, homework and all that jazz.
It is a commitment and you both deserve a say in what decision is made. This is just to show you that it can work!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I wouldn’t be cool with totally opposing schedules like that unless I was REALLY desperate for money.
Post # 13
He works a second shift job now and on saturdays, so I am use to being alone some time. He would only work 15 days a month, so it might amount to more time together anyway. We certainly aren’t desperate, but having extra money never hurt 🙂
Post # 14
emviamama– Thanks for the info! We have done it before and it worked okay, but the job was VERY boring.
Post # 15
Not worth it for $15k. Especially since you said you guys are doing fine right now with regular bills and saving for the wedding. If you had some sort of situation where you really really needed that $15k, then I’d say suck it up and do the 3rd shift for awhile until finances get better. But again it seems you guys are good. Pretend that you never knew about this job option!!!
Post # 16
@lexmek27: I think you should let the decision be mainly his since he is the one who would have to work those hours. Those hours can be tough. If it’s something he thinks would be worth it to him to do then I would support his choice.