(Closed) Please help the hostess!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would have to have that talk with her. Since when is it acceptable for the guest of honor to dictate the terms of the shower or the gifts?

I would not feel comfortable including those demands on an invitation.


Post # 4
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with jules.  I don’t think I could throw a shower and tell people what type of gifts they can bring to the shower.

Post # 5
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should tell her that you are uncomfortable wording that on the invitation, and explain the reasons WHY it goes against etiquette. Then, tell her that you would be more than happy to spread her requests through word-of-mouth if people ask you.

Post # 6
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Just tell her to register and put the specific diapers she wants on the list. As for the gift cards, not sure on that one….it’s kinda rude to say gift cards preferred.

Post # 7
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would talk to her and tell her is is quite difficult to word invitations properly with what she wants. Tell her to create registries with specific sized diapers and to add gift cards to them as well. Include an enclosure with her registry information. This is how I would handle it.

Post # 9
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree that offering to spread that word of mouth is best

Post # 10
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your friend can also put in the comments section of her registry, where you usually see “It’s a Boy/Girl!”, “gift cards prefered”. I’ve actually seen that on some registries before!

Post # 11
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think I’d tell her to register and put the registry information on the invitation. If she prefers gift cards she can add them to a registry. She’d do best to register for things from a few stores and then return them for store credit otherwise she’ll most likely get things from all different stores (and may not be able to return or exchange).

We got only 1 pkg of diapers – people just don’t want to buy them. Word of mouth is probably the best way to let people know what they want.

Post # 12
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I actually think it’s entirely appropriate to tell guests what kind of diapers she’ll be using… if she is planning to use cloth, g-diapers, or one of those other all-natural biodegradable brands. If she’s just using normal disposables, I really think you can get by with whatever on your first child… just see the different brands as a chance to experiment to see what works for her baby best. Every shower I’ve been to, someone has either made a diaper cake, or all the guests were told to bring a pack of diapers. So maybe that’s why this seems reasonable to me. That said– should it go on the invitation? I don’t think so. I think it’s only ok to put where she’s registered on a shower invitation. But it would be appropriate to do a follow up email letting the guests know that gift cards are preferred and what kind of diapers they are opting for, nursery colors… anything else that’s important to the parents without going overboard.

 And for those sayng “just have her put a note on the registry”— I don’t know about that. It assumes people will actually check the registry. That doesn’t tend to happen at the baby showers I’ve been to. People just bring what looks cute– clothes, diaper cakes, toys and blankets. Frankly, it seems like no one cares about what the parents want or need– just what gives them an opportunity to buy something very cute for the baby that they get to show everyone at the shower. My experience is that putting a note on the registry doesn’t necessarily accomplish anything.

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