Post # 1
Hi girls! So here’s the deal. I offered to throw a baby shower for a good friend of mine. She wants to be very involved in the whole thing, consulted on everything, and also has several requests. This is fine, but she has now requested that I word the invitations in such a way as to tell them a) Gift cards are preferred, and b) If you bring diapers they must be X and Y. I have no idea how to do this, whether I should go against everything I know about etiquette by doing this, and whether I should disucss with her this is really not something you should do. Suggestions on wording or dealing? Thanks!
Post # 3
I would have to have that talk with her. Since when is it acceptable for the guest of honor to dictate the terms of the shower or the gifts?
I would not feel comfortable including those demands on an invitation.
Post # 4
I agree with jules. I don’t think I could throw a shower and tell people what type of gifts they can bring to the shower.
Post # 5
I think you should tell her that you are uncomfortable wording that on the invitation, and explain the reasons WHY it goes against etiquette. Then, tell her that you would be more than happy to spread her requests through word-of-mouth if people ask you.
Post # 6
Just tell her to register and put the specific diapers she wants on the list. As for the gift cards, not sure on that one….it’s kinda rude to say gift cards preferred.
Post # 7
I would talk to her and tell her is is quite difficult to word invitations properly with what she wants. Tell her to create registries with specific sized diapers and to add gift cards to them as well. Include an enclosure with her registry information. This is how I would handle it.
Post # 8
I think doing the registry to reflect her demands would be best. Wording invitations in any way to say these things crosses me as being rude 😛
Post # 9
I agree that offering to spread that word of mouth is best
Post # 10
Your friend can also put in the comments section of her registry, where you usually see “It’s a Boy/Girl!”, “gift cards prefered”. I’ve actually seen that on some registries before!
Post # 11
I think I’d tell her to register and put the registry information on the invitation. If she prefers gift cards she can add them to a registry. She’d do best to register for things from a few stores and then return them for store credit otherwise she’ll most likely get things from all different stores (and may not be able to return or exchange).
We got only 1 pkg of diapers – people just don’t want to buy them. Word of mouth is probably the best way to let people know what they want.
Post # 12
I actually think it’s entirely appropriate to tell guests what kind of diapers she’ll be using… if she is planning to use cloth, g-diapers, or one of those other all-natural biodegradable brands. If she’s just using normal disposables, I really think you can get by with whatever on your first child… just see the different brands as a chance to experiment to see what works for her baby best. Every shower I’ve been to, someone has either made a diaper cake, or all the guests were told to bring a pack of diapers. So maybe that’s why this seems reasonable to me. That said– should it go on the invitation? I don’t think so. I think it’s only ok to put where she’s registered on a shower invitation. But it would be appropriate to do a follow up email letting the guests know that gift cards are preferred and what kind of diapers they are opting for, nursery colors… anything else that’s important to the parents without going overboard.
And for those sayng “just have her put a note on the registry”— I don’t know about that. It assumes people will actually check the registry. That doesn’t tend to happen at the baby showers I’ve been to. People just bring what looks cute– clothes, diaper cakes, toys and blankets. Frankly, it seems like no one cares about what the parents want or need– just what gives them an opportunity to buy something very cute for the baby that they get to show everyone at the shower. My experience is that putting a note on the registry doesn’t necessarily accomplish anything.