(Closed) Please Help this is so hard and I just need voices of reason!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 18
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would take him. You will need to set firm boundaries for life at your house. The stability will be good for him.

Post # 19
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I say there is no question that you should have him move in with you. Do you really want to leave your brother in that type of situation? He’s at a very critical age right now and him moving in with you would help him out not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. With changing schools he will especially need a stable environment to live in and it sounds like you could provide that for him.

I am so so sorry that you and your siblings have had such a rough life ๐Ÿ™

Post # 22
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Payless for lack of a better word it’s a shitty situation and I am sorry you have been put in it.  It seems like you have really made a nice life for yourself after coming out of a bad situation and I really respect that.  You are a really great sister.

Post # 23
Member
9970 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Payless:  My heart goes out to you, wow, your Mom is something.  If I were you, I would have to take my little brother in.  I would set some ground rules but I wouldn’t be able to subject him to any more of that kind of instability.  You and your husband would be amazing to do this for him.

Post # 24
Member
9970 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just saw the update.  That’s awesome!  You could really be saving/changing forever a person’s whole life by doing this.  Your kindness just made my heart feel really warm.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 25
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Lbward6:  +1 I completely agree!

 

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@Payless:  You for sure are doing the right thing and your brother will thank you for the rest of him life I’m sure. You are a great person ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@Payless:  Well he won’t be with you forever and he’s old enough to where you all can still have date nights and what not.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I think you can still live a bit of the newlywed life.  I’m sure it will be a little stressful having your brother with you all but in the long run I think you’ll all be much happier because you won’t have the stress and worry about if he’s being take care of or not.  He is still a child so he needs someone.  

Post # 28
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@Payless:  If I were you and took him in then I would draw up some House Rules and discuss them with your brother and your mother before he comes to you.

I would tell them both that if he breaks any of the House Rules he will be on the first Greyhound bus to her.  That way if your brother does get into any trouble hopefully your Mom will back you because it doesn’t sound to me that she really wants him.  But from your description of her I don’t think she would mind manipulating your brother to make your life horrible if she thinks there are no consequences.

It sounds like your brother needs stability and your Mom is probably not a good influence on him.

As far as your dinners and dancing with your husband I think you can still do that.  I have a 16 year old brother and he would be happy left alone on the couch with a Coke and a bag of chips! Plus, if he gets a job his hours will probably be in the evening, so that is something else to consider.

Post # 31
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Good luck to all of you all!!!

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