- 4 years ago
I’m the MOB whose daughter is getting married in her hometown (where I live) but she lives 1000 miles away. She has made two trips home since the engagement — one to look for venues and one to select a dress. I knew and she acknowledged that I would need to do a lot of local legwork to finish planning. I don’t mind and have the time. She has a stressful job and little free time. Every step of the way, I have sent pictures, presented options and essentially incorporated whatever she wanted. Here is the issue — I am very detail oriented and she is not. In essence, we have differing opinions of what is needed versus not needed.
For example, logistically the venue needs some signage. I’m not talking about over the top, but just enough to help the guests figure out what to do and where to go. She doesn’t see the point. She doesn’t see the point of table linen in the cocktail space –“nobody will care.” These are standard cafeteria quality high tops. She thinks that escort cards are too stuffy even though certain family dynamics make assigning tables one way to avoid issues. Those are just a couple of examples, bottom line is if I say “this might be a good idea,” her default response is “I don’t see the point.”
Having said that, let me tell you a little about her choices — she chose a very expensive venue, an expensive couture gown, the best caterer in the city, a live band, etc. In short, this is shaping up to be a very expensive event. I get that she wants fun and laid back and it certainly will be, but I feel that the event needs certain things to make it flow and run smoothly. I am funding about 90% of the wedding, and she and her fiancé are picking up the remaining 10%.
I want nothing more than for her to have the best wedding possible, one that fulfills her vision, without stress, or having things turn out poorly. At the risk of sounding like THAT mother of the bride, I have to admit that the thought of spending the amount that I am on this wedding only to have it look thrown together kills me a little.
So bees, what do I do? I dont want to continually argue about these details, and I don’t want her feeling as if her thoughts or lack thereof don’t matter. I feel like I’m watching an express train about to derail because someone forgot the lay the tracks 🙂
Thanks in advance ladies!