Wish I could give you a hug. I understand because we were/are in the same sort of situation. We’ve been engaged for a year. We’re both older (44 & 39) and we thought we had this wedding thing down pat. And then… I had an accident. I fell out of the back of a truck on the highway at 50 mph and no health insurance.
Our wedding fund went to hospital bills and doctors teaching me how to walk again.
Out the window flew our formal dinner and huge reception with mariachi’s (I’m spanish) great favors, etc. But you know what? It didn’t matter. My Fiance stayed by my side and took care of me. He didn’t get "freaked" and walk away when I truly believe anyone who didn’t love me as much as he does, would have. (I got sick of dealing with myself!)
At first we canceled everything. And now we’re going to go through with our ceremony and have a small dance.
If anything after all we’ve been through while I’ve been healing it’s made our ceremony incredibly more important than it started out to be.
We found a golf course grill with amazing views that we could rent for $500. And I found a DJ at a bridal fair that gave me a heck of a deal (for our area) $100 per hour flat rate. No deposit, no minimum to meet, no travel/mileage fee. No, we’re not having a signature drink, a candy bar, etc… we’re having a cash bar for anyone who wants to drink liquor. Otherwise we’re providing soft drinks/tea/punch, wedding cake and that’s it. oh, and we’re going to a local resturant to eat (my Fiance and I) after the wedding. If anyone wants to join us there, we would love for the to come, but yes, they will each have to pay for their own.
We’ve had people tell us they aren’t coming for various reasons "You aren’t having a dinner" "There is too big of a gap between the wedding and the reception" "You aren’t having any pre-wedding festivities" I finally just vented in our blog about what was happening with us when I was fed up with hearing the snide remarks. http://ed-debi.weddingannouncer.com (look at the April 28th post)
The people who TRULY LOVE you and your Fiance will be there NO MATTER WHAT AND WHERE. And that’s what it’s all about. Being surrounded by the people who love and will truly support you. The people who have and are "there" for us, understand and think it’s great we’re going to a resturant after our ceremony and are more than willing to come and pay for their own.
It goes against everything any ettiquite book ever said. I put no dinner on our invitations and cash bar also so our guests knew EXACTLY what was going to occur. Some say it was wrong to do that. I don’t care. I know it was RIGHT FOR US.
And I have things left from our "what was to be" reception that we aren’t using. I know it’s not much, but I would love to send you what you can use that way you don’t have to pay for something I can’t use that you can and that money can go toward your wedding fund or your parents.
so pm me. It will all be okay. Trust me. And it will mean even that much more to you.
Hugs and love from one Colorado Bride to a VERY SPECIAL California Bride. ;*