Post # 1
Here we are with my first ever *conflict* about wedding related stuff, and it’s a big one I think.
I’ll cut to the chase. We are having a child free wedding and that is non negotiable. FH and I both agreed that we would like to allow guests to RSVP through phone and/or our website, but mywedding.com (which is our website host) has this RSVP option that allows guests to enter in their names, emails and number of people attending. Now, the site itself allows the bride/groom to set a limit to how many can RSVP per party, but if I set that limit to too many people (like 4) when only two are invited, that’s a problem. If I set it to 2 people, when 4 are invited, that’s an even worse problem. My fear is that this RSVP version of mywedding.com gives room to uninvited guests to RSVP….
So my questions are:
- Assuming we keep this website: How can we word the wedding invitations which will be mailed to our guests so that they specify who is invited?
- Assuming we do not specify who is ‘allowed’ to attend in the invitation: Is there another wedding website where I can make my own guest list and guests attending per family, and guests can simply choose their name and whether or not they are attending – no “number of guests” involved?
I am not sure if I explained myself well, but that is pretty much our dilemma.
Thanks in advance for your help! 🙂
Post # 4
We used inner and outer envelopes and didn’t run into any trouble about people getting confused. The outer envelope has the couple’s name on it (Mr. and Mrs. Jake Smith) and the inner envelop has the names of those invited, so if we wanted to include their children it would be Mr. and Mrs. Jake Smith and the next line would list the children in order of age. Since we only included a small number of older children we just put the couple or individual or individual and guest on the inner envelopes.
Post # 5
@Mimoza: i am not sure if i completely follow what you’re saying but if that website is not going to allow the proper amount of guests to rsvp, then don’t use that source. it may cause you more problems.
the invites should state who is invited to the wedding. some guests just ignore it, i know.
why not just do the rsvp cards and put on them the number of guests that are invited?
Post # 6
Our STD’s and invites we did the same – addressed it to who was invited – Mr and Mrs Tom Jones or The Jones family.
We are using http://www.weddingwire.com for our website. I uploaded the name of each person invited so when the person goes to the RSVO page, they search for their name – IE. Tom Jones goes and searches under last name for Jones – Tom, Amy, Rachel and Mark come up. They can only choose attending or not attending for each person. There is no way for them to add people in.
Post # 7
You can keep the website (or redo one on weddingwire like @Glasgowbound suggested) and just put the names of those invited on the invitation (either on the outer envelope or on the inner envelope, if you’re doing one). If people RSVP for extras, call them ASAP and tell them no.
Post # 8
@DaneLady: Oh I had never heard of that. I’m going to have to look it up. Thank you! 🙂
@mypinkshoes: haha I know it sounds confusing…So what I’m basically getting at is since we have a tight guest list I do not want to invite more than the people who are invited….and since the wedding website we picked (and I love) does not have the specific RSVP selection process I would like, I am torn about changing the site to another one OR keeping the site and wording our invites in a way where people know WHO is invited…We don’t want to incluse RSVP cards because we don’t want to waste so much paper. Also, that methot is a bit slow and takes more effort than logging into a site and saying “yes” or “no”. So now I am torn about what we should do. I don’t want people thinking that their whole family is invited and RSVP Jones family, 4 people coming when i’ve only invited 2….you know?
@Glasgowbound: I opened a weddingwire account and could not for the life of me find the RSVP option in the website! How did you do that? haha
Post # 9
@vorpalette: Thanks! I am still trying to figure out how to add the RSVP option on the website at weddingwire. I got to the guest list, and that I should add the people BUT nowhere does it say how many…and I also have no idea what inside/outside envelopes are. Ugh I am such an idiot when it comes to this stuff haha.
EDIT: I just saw the RSVP app thingy. Ok. Now I know how to do that lol.
Post # 10
@Mimoza: When you order invites, they send you 2 envelopes. One to stick everything in, and one to mail with. You put everything in the inner envelope (invite, RSVP, any other notes) and then label it with who you want to attend. Then you stick it in the outter envelope, and address it formally to your guest.
Quite the pain in the butt.
Post # 11
@pmerr: Ohhhh ok. That kind of makes sense. Thank you! 🙂
Post # 12
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
Whomever’s name is on the invitation is invited, anyone not on the invitation is not (unless you have “and guest” and then they let you know who their ONE guest is). That’s the rule of thumb, but you’re going to have people not know/ignore it. We did not do online RSVPs (also using mywedding.com) for this exact reason. We also have “we have reserved __ place(s) in your honor” on our RSVP cards and then wrote in the number of people invited–2, 4, whatever. Hopefully people will get the hint.
Also–slightly off topic–the general consensus seems to be that people do not always RSVP online. We tried to make it easy for people by having pre-stamped envelopes with hte reply cards, they just have to write their names and if they are coming. Of course I just sent out test ones to our bridal party and half of them haven’t responded, but…. Anyway, I would recommend some kind of paper reply, or maybe set up a gmail address or something?
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center
We are going to specify who is actually invited on the invitation. I think that is usually done with an inner envelope, but we are using a pocketfold invitation, so we will write the names on the back of the pocketfold and insert it so the names are showing when they open the invitation.
Post # 14
I chose other as an option. Why not create an email address specifically for your wedding and ask guests to RSVP to that? My cousin did this and her email was like [email protected]. She also addressed the invitation envelopes specifically with the names of only those that were invited.
Post # 15
We did both…we specified on the invitation BY NAME who is invited (aka no plus ones or anything, if the SO was invited as a guest, they were invited by name) and then used the Knot’s wedding website (it comes out as ournames.ourwedding.com) which lets you input the guest list and then they have to type in their names and select it from the guest list to RSVP, they can’t just add people without emailing us and asking us to add them to the list first. We’ve had no problems with people adding on people. We had a couple people call and ask if they could bring their SOs who weren’t initially invited, we told them we’d have to wait and see what the final count came down to and let them know later, and in the end we did have enough space to let them bring them, so we added them to the guest list, and they RSVPed after we did so.
Post # 16
@Glasgowbound: I decided on weddingwire’s wedding websites for this very reason – the RSVP tool is great – no way for people to add additional guests. Now, many guests may RSVP via paper and write people in, but at least this means the online RSVPs can’t be botched!