Post # 1
So I already have three girls who have to be my bridesmaids – best friend, sister, fsil. I am happy to have all of thsee ladies be part of the big day. No issues there.
My problem is I have two more friends who are a package deal. They are my closest friends, I do much more with them than with best friend, they have been so incredibly supportive of me over the last five years. They’re a bunch of fun and I really think I want to have them standing up besides me!
So here’s the problem. In my area 5 bridesmaids would be considered quite extravagant and is even bordering on being considered tacky. One of the two girls I’m talking about, Jane, really thinks more than 3 bms is ridiculous and says she already knows she won’t be one because of this. The other girl, lucy, is far less opinionated about weddings and I can’t see her being offended if she isn’t a bm, but I know it would mean a lot to her if she was.
Our wedding will be quite small (60-80 guests including bridal party), and is hopefully going to be a classy, but not too formal, affair.
On the one hand I agree with Jane that 5 bridesmaids is way too many. On the other I figure its my (yes, our) day, it only happens once, and I want those girls beside me.
So what do you lovely ladies think – keep it to 3 or go big with 5?
Post # 3
I voted on 3, which is how many I had in a similar size wedding as yours, also in Aus. I couldn’t imagine trying to organise dresses and plans with more than 3, and loved having just my closest girls (2 sisters and best friend).
Could your other friends do jobs like be the MC or do readings, or whatever instead? We asked one of hubby’s friends who *could* have been a groomsmen to MC for us, and I think he ended up with a bigger role than the actual groomsmen anyway! And I felt a bit bad that my sil wasn’t in the wedding, but she became our “day of” coordinator and was awesome, so much help, and highly involved.
Post # 4
Ultimately, it’s your wedding. If there are friends that you want standing by you–they should be standing by you. Don’t worry about what other people think. Ask yourself–will I regret it if they aren’t standing by me on my wedding day? If so, include them!
Post # 5
I voted for five, have all your most loved girls. It’s the best day of your life, have ’em all!
Post # 6
@Catcat1: Have the other 2 girls act as usherettes, to help your guests find their seats. They could even wear the same dresses as the bridesmaids; that’s what usherettes do where I live.
Even if they’re not bridesmaids, even if they have no special part in your wedding, definitely include them in everything as you would your bridesmaids. They can help with the showers if they want, they should be invited to all of your parties, and maybe you can even get ready with them the day of the wedding. That way you’ll have them in your wedding photos; it’ll be something nice to look back on in the future.
Post # 7
@fzesguer: I don’t think usherettes is really my style. I won’t be asking bridesmaids o do anything for me, so I wouldnt ask these two either. However, I really like your suggestions about including them in everything and that would definitely be the way I’ll go if I don’t make them BMs 🙂
Post # 8
Ask them to be bridesmaids, i feel you may regeret not asking if you don’t. Its YOUR day, do as you please, regardless of others opinions. Its nobody elses business. All the best.
Post # 9
@serenabride: so you’re the little voice inside my head!!! This is exactly what keeps popping up. Thanks 🙂
Post # 10
@Catcat1: I’ve seen people have like 8 bms. If just do what you want. If youre not as close with the best friend, why don’t you have the other 2 friends be bm and not her? Or do you HAVE to pick the best friend?
Post # 11
@FoxyBride14: she is my best friend. I have a different relationship to her with the other girls. I’m closer to them because of circumstance, but it wouldn’t be appropriate (or what I would want) to leave her out.
Post # 12
It’s your wedding! I think you should have as many bridesmaids up there next to you as you want. I have 5 bridesmaids in my wedding and I really think it’s the perfect number. I’ve been to other weddings where there have been 5 bridesmaids to 10 (whoa!) I guess it depends on how many groomsman your fiance has and if you want it to be the same number?