(Closed) Please help…4th attempt at planning the wedding, in another country, rant/vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you can do it if you really put your mind to it and priotize.

Think about it… is there anything you can cut out or not do?

Can you do silk flowers instead of real ones, that is one less thing to deal with (florist).

Buy your shoes in the middle east so that you don’t have to do that later.

Do a hair and makeup trial before hand so you know what you want and then pick a hair stylist with a greta reputation and show her pictures of exactly what you want.  Any hairstylist worth their salt will be able to do this.

Work with the photographer over email/phone.  You can have the package all ready to go and signed before you even get on a plane.  There is no real reason you need to see them in person, you can see everything you need on the website, and get to know him/her via the phone to see if you like the personality.

You can do the same with the priest.  I worked with officiant via email and phone and we laid out a beautiful ceremony. (I am getting married several states away)

Lastly, try to relax and breathe.  Think about what is really important to you and what you can live without.  And if you take even a few of the suggestions that I have given you, you will save a lot of time.  Good luck!

Post # 5
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The officiant sent me a copy of a ceremony and I was able to take out what I did not want and add in what I did.  I selected readings, changed wording, and added in our vows.  If you have a priest who is internet savvy, you may be able to do this too. Bear in mind, it is a priest, not a non dominational officiant, so you might not be able to change as much.

Post # 6
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Hey, I totally feel you as I am in a similar situation. We have had a longer engagement but are also arriving only 5 days before hte wedding and will have last minute things to take care of. We are not meeting the photographer before the wedding day but we did have a phone conversation with him when we hired him. As far as ceremony, our priest really does not want us changeing anything but we did have to meet him in person before he confirmed our date so we did that over Christmas when we were in the US. We pretty much tried to do as much as possible while we were there and then took care of the rest via phone/email and used my mom for support. Can FI’s sister help you at all since she lives there? For example, my parents helped us source a bus, bulk beverages and favors. They also viewed a couple of guest hotel options and rehersal dinner locations for us.

Since my wedding is less than 2 months away, I know it is doable but I also know now that I would have done some things differntly if I had realized how stressful this would be with timezones and such. My biggest advice is to find an all inclusive venue such as a hotel or restaurant so you don’t have to deal with so many vendors. We have a great venue but it required that we also source a caterer, bring our own alcohol and rent a tent and it is not really near any hotel possibilities. We looked at a restaurant that would have provided a private rom and patio, and taken care of all the logistics which would have been a much easier option.

I would be most worried about your dress but it sounds like you are in good hands with a committed seamstress who will prioritize your dress as a rush. In my case, I needed super minor alternations so I went in for a fitting while visisting and let me mom pick up the dress when it was complete to be next tried on when I arrive for the wedding. Do you have a back up option in case it is too big and unfixable?

As far as getting help from the Fiance, I have had the same problem with mine but it was mostly becasue we are marrying in my home state so he always claimed that I could do things better and more efficiently than him. I told him he needed to at least take charge of something so he is in charge of the DJ. He is also in charge of making sure everything is in order on this side and we will be legal when we return as well as organizing his family.

You basically need to realize it’s not going to be the same as if you married and lived in the same city but if you can give up control over every little detail you should be fine. It seems that you have the right attitude and realistic expectations. PM me if you have questions, I learned a lot during this long distance planning process. 

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