(Closed) please help…distance making my relationship fall apart.

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like your boyfriend is depressed. I believe that is common, and makes sense, after so many changes in his life. He probably IS lonely.

He may need to seek a doctor’s help here.

Ultimately the choice is yours, to move or not, but HE should get the help he needs either way.

Post # 4
112 posts
Blushing bee

It doesn’t sound to me like he’s depressed, it sounds like he’s being childish. Maybe it’s a way to guilt you into what he wants?

I am currently in a long distance relationship myself. We get to see each other maybe once every three or four months, so I get it… it’s hard. It can get lonely. But we approach it differently… we don’t consider it as time apart. We communicate constantly… phone calls every morning and night, and text/e-mail throughout the day. It keeps us from getting to the point of being so lonely that we get sulky and withdraw from each other.

I’d say you both need to have some serious, adult (no whining or pouting) conversations about what it is you want. Individually and together. And tell him how it makes you feel when he puts more focus into feeling sorry for himself that you’re not together… rather than how you both can work towards the two of you growing even closer, even while you’re apart.

If he’s going to pout about this now… he’s going to pout about things later in the relationship, too. Communicate, communicate, communicate. A long distance relationship is the perfect time to work on that. Plus, the more honest and open you are with each other… the more it will pave the way for you to figure out how you feel about moving.

Good luck!

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