- 7 years ago
i’ve finally taken the plunge and actually created a profile on here after lurking for over a year. I will try to make this as short as possible. SO and I have been together for two years (although we admitted that we had huge crushes on each other for the three years prior that we worked together) but we have been really close for 5. Right after we became exclusive, he was offered (and accepted) a fantastic promotion to Los Angeles from here in Chicago. The first 1.5 years of our LDR was good. We both handled the transition in stride and I do believe made us much closer. We would see each other for around 5 days each month. After a year, he told me he wanted to marry me and wanted me to move there, and I said we needed to be together for longer and get to know each other more.
Fast forward to now. We are still seeing each other one weekend a month. When we are together, things are fantastic. We have gone on amazing vacations, attended many friends and family members weddings, done holidays with each others families, and it all has been wonderful. Within the past six months though, our time spent apart is AWFUL. Ok, I will say how he acts when we are apart is awful. he gets so surly and won’t even want to talk to me, he’ll only say things like “i am miserable. i hate everything.” He pouts all the time. I will convince him to get on skype and he will say “i’m sorry, but i’m so miserable I have nothing to say. my day sucked. I’m so lonely.” Just last weekend I was out in LA and he asked if giving me a ring would make me move. I said maybe, I did need some concrete committment. I know it is my move. He wants to marry me and make a life with me. He tells me that multiple times everyday. I need to grow a pair and quit my job (which I hate anyway so it really shouldn’t be an issue) and move out there. The more he pouts, the more it turns me off. He was so pouty this weekend we haven’t talked since friday morning. I am beginning to resent the fact that his sadness and surlyness is pushing me to make this huge life switch before I am ready just because I want him to stop doing it. I sit here thinking that maybe it would be easier to be alone than deal with my boyfriend who won’t stop being sad and sending me the crying man face text. Then I freak the [email protected]#$ out because I have this wonderful man who wants a life with me and I’m thinking maybe I should end it.
Anyone have advice on how to make my SO less pouty/surly/complainy or help on how I can deal with this? I’m so lost.