- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Hello, Long time lurker first time poster…
I am a Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend and have been having a LOT of trouble planning her batchelorett party. I just need someone to talk me off the edge here, and maybe beat some sense into me because I’m starting to go crazy.
It all started when without my knowledge two of her bridesmaids (Fiances Sister and Fiances Sister in law. I have met these woman a total of maybe twice) Went behind my back and demanded we choose a date for the stagette, they gave the bride two options,(no reasoning behind this at all) The choices were Thanskgiving weekend, or the middle of August. The bride chose August for the stagette and October for the shower, (Why don’t we have both on one day in October since the wedding isn’t until decemer? No idea. They won’t even listen to the suggestion) Of course this wouldn’t have bothered me as much if they would have brought me in to this conversation as well, but no, the bride had to come to me and tell me. I can get over the fact that I have no choice on the date, Whatever, In the end its the brides choice anyways lets move on.
I get an email, with all the bm’s emails, and we are left to our own devices, Time to get to party planning. I am really excited about this, I love the bride she is like a sister to me, So i go in, I introduce myself in the email and mention that I am the Maid/Matron of Honor, that Im excited, want to work together and list a few ideas I had asking for imput. Imput is one thing, but taking every idea i had telling me how wrong I am, I don’t know the bride even a little and the ideas are just terrible is not helping a situation at all. There was absolutely no comprimise at all. The Sister in law is demanding instead, we spend hundreds of dollars on burlesque pictures, an extremely expensive, dress code type of high end supper and then a night out on the town, several lounges and dance clubs, all with their own cover charge – The Fiances Sister then states that neither her nor the SIL will be paying for anything we do, not even the brides proportion because they are holding the shower and that would be fair. Well… The shower is a POTLUCK in the livingroom in one of their houses. I do not see how this is fair for the rest of the girls that will be attending the party.
I brought this up with the bride, carefully as I do not want to stress her out anymore then she already is, and she agreed that it wasn’t fair and would talk to them, They still have not budged from their stance on the not paying thing (since decorations for the living room will be soooo costly) or the plans that they have come up with. I asked the bride myself what her ideal party would be, in case she had maybe hinted at it while speaking to the other two woman, and she told me it wouldn’t matter as long as she had her friends there and we weren’t home before 10.
I am willing to comprimise don’t get me wrong but what these girls are forgetting is that we are all on a budget, most of us don’t make a lot. I can’t seem to get the point across that we cannot all afford to spend close to 200 each on a night out, not to mention the cab fare we would have to pay since the majority of girls plan on drinking and they want to go from one end of the city to the other to party.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I am completely out of ideas. No matter how hard I try, these girls refuse to budge, its like they don’t even want me as part of the planning and even as Maid/Matron of Honor I have absolutely no pull. I feel like I should just walk away from the whole thing before I blow a gasket and say some things I probably don’t really mean to these other girls, but I don’t want to stress the bride out even more then she already is.