(Closed) Please look over my invite mailing & RSVP dates

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
674 posts
Busy bee

I would suggestion caution in the A-list B-list scenario, but I’m sure you’ve already heard that. However, I would note it here because you’re talking about such a dramatic timeline difference in inviting these folks. If some are family or friends on the A-list, the B-list is highly likely to fine out.

Beyond that, I would wonder about an RSVP date on a Sunday when US mail will not pick up an RSVP, nor will you receive one.

If everyone is local, I imagine that it is likely the A-listers won’t respond so far ahead of your wedding date as you might hope. I mean the standard time to mail an invitation is 6-8 weeks in advance of the date, and you’re asking people to have a final answer in to you 7 weeks in advance for a local event. In fact, the early demands of your timeline could increase the chances that A-listers will talk to people who end up being B-listers, assuming there are connected parties on the two lists.

Post # 5
3265 posts
Sugar bee

3 months ahead of time for A list is too early. Invites are supposed to go out 6-8 weeks before the event. You cannot expect people to know their schedules so far ahead. If you didn’t send STD’s it doesn’t change that. I am sure most people know via word of mouth when the wedding is.

Also I will also point out (since this is the etiquette section) that there is no polite way to handle the B list since it is not polite to even have a B list.

Post # 7
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@andielovesj:  I disagree.  I know my schedule a year from now.  I think 2-3 months is perfectly acceptable, especially with Out of Town guests.  I know my venue needs my final count a month before the wedding…if she’s in the same situation, her numbers would give her 2 weeks to hunt down the no-show’s on the A list, make a seating chart, and send #s to vendors.  Plus most hotel blocks open to the general public 1 month before the wedding date, so this gives guests 2 months to figure that out.

OP- I wouldn’t push it back more than 1 week, for the reasons above.

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