(Closed) PLEASE proofread my invitations!!

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think your invitation is way too wordy, but that is personal preference.

As for actual errors, you need commas around May 25th and you should remove the “at.”

Post # 4
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

I also think you should include the state in which you are getting married

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve been working on mine too. I do like what you have however, generally I see that the Bride and Grooms names appear more towards the top and it flows more like a sentence. Like this:

Together with their parents

BRIDE AND GROOM

Invite you to share their joy

and support their love,

as they exchange vow and

celebrate their marriage.

Your love and support have

helped us become who we are.

Please join us

DATE/TIME/LOCATION

A celebration with dinner

and dancing to follow

 

Post # 8
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@hiroshymatetrastar:  It seems weird to me that you have your names just floating there.

Usually the names are intigrated into the flow of the text.

PP is right. You should include the state. If you take out the completely non-necessary (i.e. gives absolutely no information) bit at the very top, you can then put:

Saturday, May 25th, at half past three

The Whitetail Lodge

Marysville, Pennsylvania

Post # 9
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know you said to “proofread”, but I think you could use a more readable font.  Maybe use the fancier font for your names and use the readable font for everything else?

Depending on how formal, you could use:

Saturday, the twenty-fifth of May, two-thousand thirteen

half past three o’clock

The Whitetail Lodge, Marysville, Pennslyvania

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@hiroshymatetrastar:  It IS a little weird to talk about yourself in the third person, I agree with you there! That’s just how I’ve seen it as another option. I do like what you have ๐Ÿ™‚

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