(Closed) **Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 197
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Russell\'s Pizza House

Posting to come back to this thread. Such a fantastic idea and will help so many future brides. Thank you OP.

Post # 198
7112 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Thanks bees! This is super helpful! Some of these issues seem completely unavoidable, but I think I’ve seen some themes that I can try to work on:

  1. Photography: Lots of posts about missing family photos, so that’s good to know. But lots of posts about brides just generally unhappy with photography. I think the problem is more likely with expectations rather than quality of photographers. I think many brides set unrealistic expectations that they wedding should look like a magazine/blog and that just isn’t realistic for most people. So I’ve been working hard to keep my photography expectations in check. I want to remember the day but I don’t need 800 pictures worthy of an art show.
  2. Bustles suck!! Seems like tops of brides have trouble with bustles taking a long time and/or coming undone. I have always been planning ot have my train cut off but everyone has been trying to talk me into keeping the train and bustling for the reception, but after reading all thes threads, I’m definately going to have it cut off!!!
  3. Dress/shoes: Comfort really does matter!! Makes  me really glad I insisted on a dress with straps and one that is comfy and has no boning! And yeah to flats!!!
  4. Food  and drink – eat and drink more (but not too much alcohol). Good to keep in mind!!
  5. Cake – surpirsing number of cake regrets! But we’re not having cake – just lots of desserts from friends so I don’t really have too many expectations there.
  6. Hair – Not sure how to guard against this, except doing an updo and just shellacing the hell out of it!!!
  7. Time – apparently it takes longer to get ready than I think so I’ll plan to start early!!!
  8. Most importantly – Don’t let the details get to you. I think we all work so hard toooooooo get every detail right, it’s natural to get overwhelmed. In definately know that I’m going to need to keep this in check, so I’ll plan some destressing stratagies into my day!

Post # 199
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

There are only 2 things I would change:


1. Cake– I let DH choose the cake. At first, I was fine with his choice because the cake wasn’t a big deal to me. But, the more cakes I saw, the more I started to have s strong opinion about what I wanted and it looked nothing like the cake DH chose. I didn’t speak up though because I have a tendency to talk my husband out of things he wants and I didn’t want to do that with one of the few things I left solely up to him for our wedding.


2. Bustle– My dress stayed bustled for about 10 minutes. I was left basically holding my dress the rest of the night. It was heavy and obviously made it difficult to move around. I think this could’ve been prevented by having more buttons to hold it or something? I don’t even know and it is not something that even crossed my mind before the wedding.

Post # 200
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

Tagging this for later.  Thanks so much to all the bees who shared!

Post # 201
25 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

Posting so I can come back!

Post # 202
46 posts

It’s been over a year but my regrets:

  • Officiant: I wanted a really quick ceremony but I forgot to read what he was going to say. My parents are religious and conservative and wanted us [an agnostic couple] to use their pastor. I didn’t care so I said ok. Everyone’s jaw dropped when we heard the vows (ex. “Wives be submissive to your husbands”)

  • Bridemaids: We had an intimate farm wedding (our ceremony was 30 people, lunch, pro-photog; our reception was the day after with 250+, busses to pick/drop guests from the hotel, big buffet, candy bar). I didn’t want bridemaids because it was one less thing to worry about. Looking back, it would’ve been really nice to have my sister or my best friend stand next to me.

  • Food: I wish I gave myself 15 minutes so I could eat a bunch of sandwiches. I ended up passing out, super drunk by 10pm. My father in law (who is absolutely fantastic) kept refilling my glass (bourbon on the rocks) while I was greeting guests at the reception

  • Photographer: I wish I used the same photographer at our reception for consistancy. 

Post # 203
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ebet24:  Good point, I din’t think I would need a videographer especially because I can not afford one- but now I am reconsidering. I do want to be able to see everyone walk down the aisle ahead of me. Hmmm…

Post # 204
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Regrets:

  • NOT HIRING A DJ.  My father in law does sound systems/is in a band/ect, and my parents own a radio station.  So between the two we had all the music equipment we needed.  I used my computer to put together music for seating people, ceremony, eating music, and reception.  All I had asked my husband to do was make sure Father-In-Law had someone available to run the music for us.  That is the ONLY thing I had asked.  Well a week before the wedding we are having dinner with his parents and his dad asks me who is going to be running the music?  I immediatly gave the look of death to my husband.  We managed to get someone to do it, only they were not able to be at the rehersal.  So come wedding day everything seems to start off smoothly.  Family walks down the aisle to first song, bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle to second song.  Now its my turn.  I am hidden from view so nobody can see me yet and NOTHING.  I waited probably 30-45 seconds for my song to start.  Which may not seem like a long time but when there is nothing but silence and everyone looking around wondering what is going on it is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.  Then my song finally started I made it down the aisle and the song kept playing…. and playing… and playing.  I finally looked at the officiant like please just start talking!  THEN walking back down the aisle after we had gotten married the guy started playing what was left of my entrance song!  About half way down he switched it very abruptly.  🙁  Then at the end of the night it got very very cold (I had an outdoor wedding) So lots of people left early.  But I was still dancing and having a good time with the few people who remained Father-In-Law decided to shut it down since “no one was dancing”. I WAS!  IM THE BRIDE!  If I just hired a DJ I think a LOT of this would have been avoided.  Plus I spent HOURS putting together a playlist for the reception and dancing that never got heard.


  • OFFICIANT: While his script was fine and all there were a few things that I wish I would have asked him to add.  I never got to say I DO.  We said vows and had a ring exchange but asking us to take each other wasn’t part of it.  He also never said You may kiss the bride.  It pretty much just ended and I had read the script and knew it wasn’t in there but it was still akward we both looked at him and each other like “do we kiss now?”.  And finally, I am way laid back and when he asked me if I cared what he wore and if he could have a pistol on his hip I didn’t think much of it.  (It was a country wedding and we were getting married on a farm) But I didn’t think he would show up in this…. Here are some wedding pics(not in order) Very pic heavy! :  wedding Wedding Ceremony 3


  • KEEPING MY VEIL ON ALL NIGHT: As you can see in the picture I had mine placed in my hair and low and intented to keep it in the entire time.  By the end of our recieving line I wanted to take it out.  Every single person that hugged my would pull in my veil and jerk my head back.  I kept having to move it to the side but Id forget and the next hug would yank my hair.

Oh the should have/would have/could have’s…..  

Post # 205
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@RabbitBride:  If I could do it all over again, I don’t think I would have had a videographer since I really didn’t have the money for it, but I would have at least had a friend make a simple video of the processional with their phone. I had one flower girl who was 18 months and a ring bearer who was 3 and apparently they stole the show. They were adorable toddling down the aisle. Guests still tell me now how precious they were but I never got to see it!

Post # 206
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

saving for later, brilliant thread, has given me alot to think about 🙂 xx

Post # 207
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Well where do i begin.

  • we didn’t get a pic with his grandma so so sad about this 🙁
  • it rained and i got married on the day of Hurrican Irene.
  • we got married outside and although we had a tent we had to have the ceramony under there too. everyone had to scramble to move table and chairs so we do the ceramony. Didnt make for great pics. If i had thought it out clearer i would have had everyone sit at the table snad just walked down the middle to the head table. which would have been better all around,
  • While getting dressed i popped a bottle of champage and regret this. Didn’t take anytime to eat so by the time we walked down the isle i was tipsy. 
  • Needless to say i regret some of my actions broke my toasting flut. Kids civered in mud and Having no control over the situation at all.
  • There are some great pics though. But here is one with my son covered in mud. It was a garden wedding.
  • here are some better before the rain. We did change into more comfortable clothes.

Post # 208
1741 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

  • Not greeting guests:  I regret that we didn’t get to visit all of the tables during dinner.  We had a buffet with two lines for 120, so food was served relatively quickly, and then it was nearly time for toasts!  I feel terrible that there are some guests we didn’t see all night, especially those who traveled to attend our wedding.
  • Guest list:  My SO regrets that we didn’t have a bigger wedding.  By the time we realized that we wanted to invite more people, we were already at capacity for our venue.

Post # 209
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@hollykirsten:  Holy Mother of God! I would have died! I cannot believe he showed up dressed like that! I’m so sorry

Post # 210
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@nyota526:  Ya, I saw that and went WTF….. but nothing I could do. and it was my own fault because I said I didn’t care what he wore.  To be honest though I figured he would show up in something more like a western suit with a cowboy hat and his gun on his hip.  Not really my style but I wouldn’t have cared.

Post # 211
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Following! Thanks for the help ladies

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