(Closed) **Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I didn’t get a picture with me, my husband and my parents on my wedding day.

There is a story behind why though. My parents are divorced and have been remarried so we got the shot with my mom and then my dad. And it didn’t at that point occur to me that we didnt’ get one with Mom and Dad. And then we moved onto DH’s family. During a group photo I got very ill feeling and overheated. (I was very sick the night before my wedding, Destination Wedding, travellers diarrhea, you get the picture. So I was still not feeling 100% the day of the wedding). I almost passed out and had to walk to a chair with my mom holding me up. 

After I sat down I realized I had missed the shot with my mom and dad. However, my sister also pointed out that family pictures were taking a long time and we hadn’t even started our bridal party shots. We were planning on doing family shots again when we had an at home reception. So since I was feeling terrible and wanted to get some bridal party shots I said lets not worry about it, we’ll get that shot at the reception.

We did get that shot at the reception, but I regret not having the photo on the beach from my actual wedding day. Now it feels like something will be missing from my photo book.

Long story about that…sorry! But it truly is the only thing I regret. Aside from the sickness, but nothing I could have done to change that. Everything else about both my weddings were perfect.

Post # 18
Member
269 posts
Helper bee

My wedding was almost a year ago, so I really should get over this but there are a few things about my wedding that still bother me. So here are my regrets in no particular order.

  • Our wedding was on a Sunday (afternoon) and I was super disappointed in how many people left right after dinner. I thought it was quite rude considering all of our guests lived in the area and often stayed late on Sunday family dinners, so I felt it was rude that they were leaving at 7 after eating our expensive dinner. Oh well πŸ˜›
  •  I completely forgot to include my sister in the photos with my grandparents. She was not impressed. It was entirely my fault and I feel bad about it when I look at the photos.
  • We never made it to the cocktail hour. We were having so much fun taking photos (and I don’t regret the time we spent with them because our photos are awesome) but I do regret that I kept people waiting and that we didn’t get to try any of our yummy apps.
  • My dress. I liked my dress, but I don’t like the fabric and I realize now that I just picked the dress because I felt bad about taking up so much of the bridal consultants time (I have people pleaser issues). It looks nice, but wrinkled badly and wasn’t comfy.
  • My DJ. Ugh I want to go back and yell at him for being such a complete flop. We booked through a popular DJ service and were recommended to use this particular DJ. Turns out we werent allowed to even talk to him (never met him before) until a week before the wedding. He had none of the popular songs that we requested so we had to give him a cd of our fav songs (that are on the radio!!). He totally sucked and played 8 backstreet boy songs. wtf?! People didn’t dance and it made me feel like our wedding was super lame. He was also supossed to come with special lighting and he never did!
  •  Our officiant. He was awkward. Nice enough, but super awkward when he talked. My regret is not telling him where we wanted to have our first kiss.

    We were getting married outside infront of this super cute gazebo and I always assumed that we would have our first kiss there, where everyone could see us. Instead he had us move in behind the signing table at the back of the gazebo (where nobody could see) and just lamely had us kiss there. It felt like such an anticlimatic moment.

    Best way to get over regrets: Have your awesome photographers restage the photo after the ceremony. It isn’t our first kiss, but it’s the photo I wanted and it makes me happy. Luckily our photographers were able to sneak around to the back of the gazebo and did capture the first kiss too.

     

Post # 19
Member
4145 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pinklemonade12:  Aw I absolutely love this picture! How sweet!

Post # 20
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was so nervous coming down the aisle. My Grandfather gave me away, and he was stepping on my dress the whole time. I was married outside and was trying not to let me heels sink into the ground. Because of all of these distractions, I forgot to look at my husband while I walked down the asile…

Such a big regret =( 

 

Here is a picture of me watching where my grandfather is stepping…

Post # 21
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

May I just say that I really appreciate this post! πŸ™‚ 

I am stunned at how many of us have experienced some of the same challenges and disappointments on our wedding days. I have to say that I couldn’t believe how many things I had in common with some of you, ESPECIALLY you,  @peasantsong:

* Totally thrown-off timeline. I thought I would have everyone at the venue (which is an hour-and-a-half from where I lived and where my salon is) by 3 p.m., ready for pics by 3:30 p.m.  Unfortunately, I was delayed at the salon, then we encountered very heavy, holiday-weekend traffic, and there were a couple of accidents ahead of us on the routes we were traveling. Bottom line, I wasn’t dressed and ready for pics until 5 p.m. for our 6 p.m. ceremony, and it was 96 degrees outside. The photographer suggested that I NOT even go outside before the ceremony. All of the pics with me in my dress before the ceremony were shot in the bride’s room, in front of a window, and they all show the same type of background.

As a result, we had to take pictures during the hors d’oeuvres hour and after dinner, during the reception. 

*I missed the entire hors d’oeuvres hour and most of my own reception taking pics that didn’t even turn out especially well. We only ended up taking a few shots of the bridal party, and they were all posed, and it was starting to get dark, so the lighting was bad.

*I ended up with not one single picture of myself with just all of my bridesmaids.

*There are no pictures of me with just DH and my stepchildren.

*There are no pictures with us with both sets of parents together.

*My heels were sinking in the grass while our formal portraits were being taken. I was trying to balance on my toes, and I have this tense, emotionless smile on my face in most of them. 

*I never took off my veil the entire night. Since we didn’t get to take family pics until after I had cut the cake, I kept my veil on the whole night, and I did not have a single pic of my beautiful updo without my veil covering it. I didn’t get upset about this while I was at the venue, but, the next day, when I talked to my mom on the phone, and she mentioned that my aunts and cousins loved the wedding but commented that they couldn’t see my pretty hair, I suddenly realized what had happened and that I didn’t have ANY pics of my amazing updo. It turned out to be the second most upsetting thing that happened (or, in my case, didn’t happen) that day. I eventually arranged to have my bridal hair and make-up redone and have an in-studio, bridal portrait taken without the veil, before I cut my hair. I am SOOOOO glad I did this!

* Because of the thrown-off timeline and the pics that had to be taken during the reception, we never had the opportunity to even greet most of our guests. THIS was the single, MOST upsetting thing that happened (or, again, in this case DIDN’T happen.) Because the ceremony and reception were at the same venue, there wasn’t really a way to do a receiving line, so we planned to go around and greet all of our guests at their tables during the reception. That never happened. I was able to interact with people who came up to me, but I was able to only go to two of the tables to greet guests. I was so devastated over this that I cried frequently on our honeymoon and became quite grief-filled over it for about nine months after my wedding. 

Thankfully, because I’ve now been married for three years, I’ve subsequently had the opportunity to see many of the people who attended my wedding, and I’ve finally been able to talk to them and introduce them to my DH! However, it’s really NOT the same to do that at a picnic months or years later as it would have been on that at our wedding reception. 

* My precious ringbearer cried/screamed through most of my ceremony. My sweet, little nephew was my ring bearer. His parents were both in the wedding. His sister was the flower girl. Unbeknownst to me, someone had taken the ring pillow from the little guy after he walked down the aisle — effectively taking away his job. He was not a happy camper, because he had an important job to do, and someone inadvertently did not allow him to do it. πŸ™ 

* I ended up with a huge crease in the front of my gown, before the ceremony. The photographer had me pose for pics on a beautiful settee in the bride’s room. Unfortunately, this created a huge crease right across the front of my dress. I quickly asked for the steamer, but, when I saw water literally dripping from it, I told the venue’s staff not to come near me with it.

* The bodice of my gown turned out to be very video friendly, but not very still-picture friendly. The blinged-out bodice of my strapless gown looks absolutely amazing on our video.  It sparkles like crazy. However, the bodice and the bust portion of my gown did not end up fitting me well for much of the evening, especially when I was seated. Long story short, I ended up with a “double-chest” effect in the family pics (where the photographer had me seated (WHY?), and I very unintentionally ended up with too much cleavage in some other pics, including my cake-cutting photos.

I know that, for those of you whose weddings took place very recently, the disappointment you’re feeling may be completely overwhelming right now — especially when it’s accompanied by guilt, because you know you shouldn’t dwell on the negatives. However, when you wait SOOOO long for — and spend SOOOO much time planning for, and invest SOOOO much money in — what is supposed to be THE most important day of your life (thus far), and it in any way (or in many ways) falls short of what you dreamed of, it’s almost impossible NOT to feel that way. The good news is that time DOES make things better, and SOME things can be “fixed” later, as many of us have noted.

Hang in there, and HUGS! 

Post # 22
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wish we hadn’t picked December! πŸ˜› We had a blizzard and half of DH’s family couldn’t make it into town the day of our reception. Some of our guests got stuck in the snow, so DH and I (in his suit, me in heels and a dress) were helping to push their cars out. In spite of those things, it was still a wonderful weekend and we all had a really good time. 

Post # 23
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Brielle:  I am so sorry you can relate!  Haha!  All I can tell myself when I think of my wedding day bloopers is “oh well!”  There sure isn’t a thing I can do about it now!

I have one more big one that really bugged me.  I had this awesome sparkler exit planned, but I got too excited/distracted and ended up running ahead of my husband instead of beside him.  I seriously look like I am running away from him.  Major fail. Not a single one of the pictures from this series are share-able let alone frame-able! 

Post # 24
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

loving this post!!!!

Post # 27
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@peasantsong:  Well, for what it’s worth, I still think your sparkler pic is beautiful! It shows your guests, the sparklers, you in your gorgeous gown, and your DH in the background. It may not have been your vision, but I still think it’s a great pic. πŸ™‚

By the way, you helped me to remember one of my other big regrets that was similar to one of yours. My reception was scheduled to end at 11 p.m., but DH and I were still outside taking pics and video.  By the time we went back inside for our last dance, the vast majority of our guests were already gone (though some came outside on the terrace to say good bye to us while we were out there. ) Thank goodness our DJ was still there so we could have the last dance. However, in the pics and video, you can see all these totally empty tables, dim lighting in the room, a few stragglers who stayed behind to watch us dance, and people from the venue cleaning up the room, haha!

Ooh! Also, in the midst of the craziness that was my wedding day, I completely forgot to give someone my very detailed matrix of who was supposed to receive which centerpiece and altar flower arrangement! Instead of our mothers and aunts and other family members going home with these gorgeous flowers, about $3,000 worth of stunning arrangements were either thrown away or adopted by venue staff, since our stuff had to be removed from the venue before the next morning for another wedding. Sigh. πŸ™‚

Post # 28
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just got married last weekend, and here are my current regrets:

1) No videographer, although this was unavoidable since I was trying to keep my wedding under 5k and I was already 1500 over budget. Before hand, I didn’t think I woukd want one because I was sure the photographer would get tons of pics of me coming down the aisle. But what I didn’t realize until the wedding day is you miss everything that happens during the processional: I missed the guys walking down the aisle, all my bridesmaids walking, the cutest flower girls and ring bearers, etc. because you are hidden during all of this. I would have loved to see how the ceremony actually looked as a guest.

2) Doing my own reception flowers. I got them from a wholesale florist with awesome reviews and planned on just doing simple arrangements myself. I ordered 3 types of flowers, one of which (billy buttons) my entire wedding was planned around. I got to the wholesale florist and the billy buttons looked terrible and brown. They were super nice and let me choose another flower, but it just wasn’t what I had in mind. They promised me the other 2 flowers would fully open before my wedding the next day, but one of them (ranunculus) didn’t. So the morning of my wedding I’m standing in my hotel room using a blow dryer on the ranunculus trying to get the to open. Some opened, but about half never did.

I’m sure more regrets will come to me later haha.

Post # 29
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Commenting so I can find this later! 

Post # 31
Member
8374 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@randombee:  Long story short, but the in-studio shot was just a close-up portrait, so a duplicate bouquet would not have been necessary. I had explained to the photographer who was taking this pic (he was the photographer who took our engagement portrait, not our wedding photographer) that I wanted pics of my hair, and he took me VERY literally, lol. I am thankful that the picture comes down just far enough to see the sweetheart neckline of my dress. (I actually had to buy an 8×12 photo rather than an 8×10 to be able to see the neckline of the dress, however, and that ended up requiring custom framing!) The good news is, however, is that I absolutely love the way the portrait turned out otherwise. I am soooo very thankful that I did this, even though I couldn’t schedule myself, the photographer, and my hair and make-up artist for the same date until six months after the wedding.

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