May I just say that I really appreciate this post! 🙂
I am stunned at how many of us have experienced some of the same challenges and disappointments on our wedding days. I have to say that I couldn’t believe how many things I had in common with some of you, ESPECIALLY you, @peasantsong:
* Totally thrown-off timeline. I thought I would have everyone at the venue (which is an hour-and-a-half from where I lived and where my salon is) by 3 p.m., ready for pics by 3:30 p.m. Unfortunately, I was delayed at the salon, then we encountered very heavy, holiday-weekend traffic, and there were a couple of accidents ahead of us on the routes we were traveling. Bottom line, I wasn’t dressed and ready for pics until 5 p.m. for our 6 p.m. ceremony, and it was 96 degrees outside. The photographer suggested that I NOT even go outside before the ceremony. All of the pics with me in my dress before the ceremony were shot in the bride’s room, in front of a window, and they all show the same type of background.
As a result, we had to take pictures during the hors d’oeuvres hour and after dinner, during the reception.
*I missed the entire hors d’oeuvres hour and most of my own reception taking pics that didn’t even turn out especially well. We only ended up taking a few shots of the bridal party, and they were all posed, and it was starting to get dark, so the lighting was bad.
*I ended up with not one single picture of myself with just all of my bridesmaids.
*There are no pictures of me with just DH and my stepchildren.
*There are no pictures with us with both sets of parents together.
*My heels were sinking in the grass while our formal portraits were being taken. I was trying to balance on my toes, and I have this tense, emotionless smile on my face in most of them.
*I never took off my veil the entire night. Since we didn’t get to take family pics until after I had cut the cake, I kept my veil on the whole night, and I did not have a single pic of my beautiful updo without my veil covering it. I didn’t get upset about this while I was at the venue, but, the next day, when I talked to my mom on the phone, and she mentioned that my aunts and cousins loved the wedding but commented that they couldn’t see my pretty hair, I suddenly realized what had happened and that I didn’t have ANY pics of my amazing updo. It turned out to be the second most upsetting thing that happened (or, in my case, didn’t happen) that day. I eventually arranged to have my bridal hair and make-up redone and have an in-studio, bridal portrait taken without the veil, before I cut my hair. I am SOOOOO glad I did this!
* Because of the thrown-off timeline and the pics that had to be taken during the reception, we never had the opportunity to even greet most of our guests. THIS was the single, MOST upsetting thing that happened (or, again, in this case DIDN’T happen.) Because the ceremony and reception were at the same venue, there wasn’t really a way to do a receiving line, so we planned to go around and greet all of our guests at their tables during the reception. That never happened. I was able to interact with people who came up to me, but I was able to only go to two of the tables to greet guests. I was so devastated over this that I cried frequently on our honeymoon and became quite grief-filled over it for about nine months after my wedding.
Thankfully, because I’ve now been married for three years, I’ve subsequently had the opportunity to see many of the people who attended my wedding, and I’ve finally been able to talk to them and introduce them to my DH! However, it’s really NOT the same to do that at a picnic months or years later as it would have been on that at our wedding reception.
* My precious ringbearer cried/screamed through most of my ceremony. My sweet, little nephew was my ring bearer. His parents were both in the wedding. His sister was the flower girl. Unbeknownst to me, someone had taken the ring pillow from the little guy after he walked down the aisle — effectively taking away his job. He was not a happy camper, because he had an important job to do, and someone inadvertently did not allow him to do it. 🙁
* I ended up with a huge crease in the front of my gown, before the ceremony. The photographer had me pose for pics on a beautiful settee in the bride’s room. Unfortunately, this created a huge crease right across the front of my dress. I quickly asked for the steamer, but, when I saw water literally dripping from it, I told the venue’s staff not to come near me with it.
* The bodice of my gown turned out to be very video friendly, but not very still-picture friendly. The blinged-out bodice of my strapless gown looks absolutely amazing on our video. It sparkles like crazy. However, the bodice and the bust portion of my gown did not end up fitting me well for much of the evening, especially when I was seated. Long story short, I ended up with a “double-chest” effect in the family pics (where the photographer had me seated (WHY?), and I very unintentionally ended up with too much cleavage in some other pics, including my cake-cutting photos.
I know that, for those of you whose weddings took place very recently, the disappointment you’re feeling may be completely overwhelming right now — especially when it’s accompanied by guilt, because you know you shouldn’t dwell on the negatives. However, when you wait SOOOO long for — and spend SOOOO much time planning for, and invest SOOOO much money in — what is supposed to be THE most important day of your life (thus far), and it in any way (or in many ways) falls short of what you dreamed of, it’s almost impossible NOT to feel that way. The good news is that time DOES make things better, and SOME things can be “fixed” later, as many of us have noted.
Hang in there, and HUGS!