(Closed) **Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 436
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No big regrets, all minor, and who knows when I see the pro photo’s, but these are the ones I can think of:

1. I would have worried less about crying. I was so worried about messing up my makeup, that I ruined one of the videographer’s shots. I was reading my husband’s letter aloud and started bawling. I stopped and wouldn’t finish because I couldn’t take it. I was then so worried about crying in the ceremony that I tried to distract myself from what was happening and wasn’t “in the moment”. In retropsect, no one minds if you cry – many like it!

2. Make sure the venue has soap in the bathrooms. I made up bathroom baskets but didn’t anticipate they would run out of soap!

3. I wouldn’t have wasted money on west elm mercury glass votives. At $5 a pop, they ended up being a waste, as 75% broke in transit. Plus no one really seemed to notice them.

4. I would have put my hair up when the dancing started. At the time I didn’t care, and I didn’t want to waste the time away from the dance floor, but now that I have seen a few photo’s, I wish I had!

5. I wouldn’t have wasted money on a fancy hotel. Our house was much nicer than the fancy hotel, with a better view, so it was a waste of money for the night after the wedding.

6. I would have asked our photographer to give us more guidance on facial expressions. She never said smile vs. serious face. So probably my husband will have a serious face when I am smiling, and vice versa.

 

Post # 437
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I really did have a magical wedding day. I was suprised at the little things that bothered me afterwards though ๐Ÿ˜‰ I was able to shake them off as they happened, but I do still think about them. 

 

The Day Before the Wedding: 

(Even with an awesome wedding coordinator) I left too many little things to the last minute. I ended up “hosting” ppl all day on the day before, and didn’t get to tie up the loose ends I thought I’d have time to that day.

When the bridesmaids and I went to get my nails done, I wasn’t happy with what I chose and I wish I had spoken up. I just didn’t want to be a pain. I also wish I had just splurged and gotten a pedicure, my polish chipped the morning of the wedding on my toes, because I did a bad job at doing them myself.

The girls and I were getting ready the morning of the wedding at my house, and I hadn’t cleaned properly and gotten enough food for the next day. So I spent all night after the rehearsal dinner doing those things and I was literally up until 2:30am the night before STARTING my wedding speech and finishing the custom placecards. 

Everything felt too rushed the day before and the morning of the wedding.

 

The Dress:

I LOVED my dress, but from the very beginning did not like the original neckline. I wanted it changed to a sweetheart and was told I couldn’t by multiple seamstresses. The week before the wedding I put it on and decided I still wasn’t happy and it was “now or never”. I got a quick alteration done in 30 minutes that very day, but I wish I had gotten it more professionally finished long before the wedding day. I still like it better than if I had just left it as I bought it, but if I had more time it would have looked even better and not quite as “half-assed”. It also had a tendency to show my bra occasionally through the day:

 

The Reception:

Our DJ was really great, BUT but the music for our first dance was WAY too low, it wasn’t that sweeping, dramatic moment I had dreamt of, I could hardly hear the song for some reason. I don’t know if that could have been prevented, really. Also, I had intended to PRACTICE the first dance with Darling Husband before the wedding and then things got too busy. After seeing our video I wish we had at least done one practice run and I wouldn’t have been so awkward when he twirled me! 

 

My Makeup: 

I WISH I had just taken 10 minutes to fix myself up after dinner, but I was having too much fun. The photobooth photos of me are pretty terrible though lol! My makeup started coming off and I had a blemish (probably from stress) that was really showing by the end of the night. I had bought expensive makeup “setting spray” and then totally forgot to use it. I honestly thought the makeup artist would have taken care of that. I’m not posting photos of how sweaty and gross I was ๐Ÿ™‚ 

 

This is my biggest regret, so listen up bees!!!

I WISH WE HAD ORGANIZED A MORNING AFTER GET-TOGETHER OF SOME SORT! Most of our guests had come from out of town and we feel like we didn’t get to spend enough time with everyone. I was also flying high from the day before and would have LOVED to talk everything over with family members to see what their experiences were like! At the end of the night my dad was going around saying “Um yeah, I think maybe we’ll have some people over to my place in the morning for breakfast” so some people thought there might be plans and were confused. Darling Husband and I went home by ourselves and it was a little underwhelming. I wanted so badly to gab with the bridal party and family. We didn’t leave for our honeymoon until a few days later so I’m not sure why we didn’t plan anything, it was probably a money thing. But even going to breakfast at a cheap local diner with everyone would have been SO fun!

Post # 438
Member
20 posts
Newbee

Great thread! I’m commenting so I can find this later. So many little things to consider!

 

Post # 439
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I didn’t sort out the flowers soon enough. I had to keep telling myself flowers were always nice, even though the bouquet was the polar opposite of what I like…. Oh well. Still sort of cringe when I see the pics. Of course it doesn’t feature very much in the photos.

Reading other comments reminded me: I should have taken a picture just with my mum.

Post # 440
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

This is such a great thread! We got married on 21st August and I have no real regrets about the actual wedding, which was very small (15 guests) but we did have a party on the 23rd August which I have some regrets about. Here are my top tips from both as I consider them lessons learned rather than regrets!

1) Give yourself WAY more time than you think you need to get ready. For the actual wedding I literally had about 2.5 hours and it was still rushed so that I forgot to do my nails. People were constantly coming in and interrupting (all our guests stayed the night before at our venue) and the whole ‘getting ready’ process took ages. It took much longet to get my dress laced up than I thought it would so make sure and practise this a LOT beforehand, my laces are twisted in my pics and whilst I’m not bothered about this, it would have looked nicer if they laid flat.

2) Cross your t’s and dot your i’s before the day of. We still had vendors to finalise details with on the morning of and it ended up with me and my fiance having to text each for confrimation etc. We had agreed to have no contact on the day, and whilst we didn’t see or speak to each other, it still felt like it would have been nicer to not have any contact at all.

3) If you are no happy at your hair trial, don’t assume it will all work out on the day. I had no choice because we got married in the middle of nowhere and there was only one hairdresser who would travel, but if you can afford to shop around then do it! My hair is the only thing about my ‘look’ that I wasn’t happy with, luckily in photos it looks ok but in real-life it was a mess.

4) Write your own vows. We did and it was the nicest part of the whole day. I sobbed through his and mine and so did most of the guests, but I didn’t care, they were perfect. I wasn’t as nervous as I had thought I would be and I was so glad we made or vows in our own words.

5) Choose a short first dance song if you don’t like being the centre of attention. We did and it still felt like a very very long time to have everyone’s eyes on us, a long song would have been torture.

6) If possible get a friend with a decent camera to take photos. Our professional photos are amazing but our photographer lost one of his memory cards so we only have half of them. Luckily my SIL took loads of pictures so we used hers to make up for the ones we lost. The lost photos is my one big regret but in reality, there was nothing we could have done about it and I’m over it now.

7) Have fun! Seriously, I know its stressful and the culmination of a lot of hopes, dreams and money but it is your one day and your should be having a blast no matter what happens. Keep your head and your sense of humour if things go wrong and don’t sweat the small stuff. Not everything went right for us, but the whole experience (we had a three day wedding!) was truly a perfect bubble of time in my life and anything that went wrong was just something to laugh about later.

Post # 441
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What an awesome thread!!I’ve got a couple of minor regrets.

1) The photographer didn’t get a shot of our rings together. He got a shot of mine by itself but none of my DH’s ring.

2) I picked this super ballgown princessy dress and I loved it!! But I didn’t factor in the weight of the dress with the petticoat underneath. I was sweating buckets and when I finally took off my dress to change, my underwear was soaked! Lol!

3) My dress ended up having this weird crease thing where my bellybutton is from sitting down. I was so conscious of it I kept trying to hide it.

Post # 442
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thank you also to the other brides who shared their regrets! I hope they help future brides!

Post # 443
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

*bump*

Post # 444
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Posting to follow. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Thank you to all the brides for sharing. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 445
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Also posting to follow!

Post # 446
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It is so hard to pick a biggest regret since nearly everything went wrong at my wedding.<br /><br />I think the worst was my photographer. I saw some of his work and thought it was amazing. He was more expensive than most photographers in the area, but I worked overtime for months to afford him. He made us travel to his studio, which I must say was a disaster full of missed trains and late buses. I have no idea why because we didn’t say anything we couldn’t say over the phone. We went over everything, I felt like, that we wanted in our wedding.<br /><br />When it came to the wedding he pretty much did the opposite of what we wanted. <br /><br />I felt like the only “real” photos he took were ones we asked him not to.<br />At one point I was having a mini meltdown because of something else that went wrong. (The salon I went to for my nails did not have a machine to dry them, therefore the minute I left there the nail polish smeared everywhere) As I am freaking out trying to fix it my photographer shoves his way in and starts taking photos of my meltdown causing more stress even after my brother asked him to leave and said it was not a good time he insisted on getting in my face for the worst pictures of me ever.<br /><br />I absolutely hated how most of the time he would not take pictures of things actually occuring, but instead would waste time setting up fake scenarios. For example, my Maid/Matron of Honor zippered my dress (which did not fit right, another regret the seamstress who missed my fitting) then the photographer comes by and tells my Mom to pretend to zipper my dress for pictures. While we were rushing to actually get ready he made us stop to pretend to get ready for pictures in his poses. I hated it!<br /><br /> I want actual pictures are real memories not a fake photo shoot. The only pictures I actually asked him for, such as my bridesmaids and I in our matching robes, he refused to take! He said “we don’t have time”.<br />He did this the whole wedding. Faking things and generally getting in the way of the actual wedding going on. He would stop real events to fake things to take pictures of. <br /><br />Not only that, but even after we had talked about doing the majority of photos inside by the fireplace since it was twenty dregrees fahrenheit outside that day, he insisted we “just get a few” outdoors which turned into an hour of freezing our butts off. We kept asking to go in! While my little nieces and nephews and husband’s elderly grandmother froze he yelled at the eighty year old grandmother to move faster! <br /><br />People have told me my wedding photos look great, but honestly I hate them. When I see them I do not see fond memories I see fake smiles and know how miserable I was.<br /><br /><br />There were a bunch of other things that went wrong:<br />I mentioned the dress not fitting right and my nails becoming a disaster, but also:<br /><br />The officiant being replaced last minute who got my name wrong seven times during the ceremony.<br />The veil not coming in until the wedding day.<br />My venue forgetting that I had set up a rehearsal there for the day before so we couldn’t do a proper one and no one knew what they were doing.<br />The person who was supposed to do my makeup not showing up and my awful attempts to do my own.<br />The hotel screwing up my reservations.<br /><br />Honestly, so many things went wrong I can’t even think of them all off hand, but of all of the my husband said that the photograher was the thing that “ruined” our wedding.<br /><br />There were some lovely parts of my wedding, but mostly I wish I had just eloped.<br /><br />

Post # 447
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Mine is really really minor. Our wedding day (and whole weekend actually) was so great, I feel silly for having any regrets at all, but I was so busy dancing and having fun that I maybe left to use the restroom only once, and therefore didn’t see that my eye makeup was melting below my eyes, making me look like a raccoon in some of the guest pictures from later in the night.

I really wish I would have checked, or that someone (anyone!) would have told me to just wipe under my eyes, but everyone, including the bridesmaids, my mom, and the groom, claimed they didn’t notice.   The upside is that everyone was so busy having fun, I believe that they genuinely didn’t notice.

 

Post # 448
Hostess
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

There is another thread about wedding regrets, so I will copa pasta my entry from that thread here.

None of the following ruined our wedding is ANY way, but I would have changed :

– DJ, while I think that some weddings need them, as it turned out, my family isn’t that huge on dancing. They mingled more than anything so I could have just saved the $600 I spent on a dj. He was a really great DJ, but I wish I would have had used an Ipod.

– Not checking on the heat in the reception building. We had people from california [DH’s family] who were FREEZING the entire time, they kept jacking up the heat until it was almost 90 degrees in the building. It was SO hot, our cake started melting – we actually had to do the cake cutting an hour in advance because we noticed it was melting.

– Bathroom baskets – not because I don’t think they are adorable, I really do, and I still love the idea, HOWEVER – my Aunt decided she was going to loot the baskets [she even went into the mens!] and take all the “good stuff” home for herself. I’m not kidding, it’s the first thing she did. Many of my friends and family asked her wtf she was doing, and her reply was “someone told me I could”. Nobody told her that, she’s full of shit. The flip flop basket was a HUGE hit and I’m super glad I did that!

– This isn’t a regret, but we weren’t able to have our ceremony on the lawn. Everything was still beautiful but there was a lot of lawn decor that we didn’t use at all, but had purchased previously. Items like my homemade yard signs, rice toss bags, crystal flower balls, shepherds hooks, a white wedding tent, flower petals, ect never got used once.

– Late night snack, once again, love the idea, but it didn’t work so well in the end for us. The weather was unseasonably terrible [icy and snowy!] so many of ours guests left early that we didn’t even get to the late night snack. The leaving early didn’t bother us, we were happy to leave early, too – as we were exhausted.

– Having too many people “helping”. We decorated the building the day before, which was fine, but SO many people kept dropping by and I have really bad social anxiety. I ended up having to take 2 xanax otherwise I would have had a freakout.

– Purchasing Uplighting – once again, I don’t think this is a BAD idea, but we never got to use the uplighting we spent almost $400 on [probably close to $600 counting extension cords]. There wasn’t enough grounded plugins to plug all of them in [16 of them]. So now we’re sitting on a bunch of uplighting that I have NO idea what to do with.

– I wish I would have waited to purchase things after we got the RSVP’s back. We purchased everything outright [linens, decor, chair covers, sashes, ect] and based it on 100 people. We had 45 show up, so we have TONS of leftover things to sell.

– Cocktail hour.. it was kind of a waste. People were coming up to us during formals asking when they could go to the reception venue. People ate, but they didn’t mingle much.

– Hiring an attendant for the photo booth, once again – wasted money. I could have just left the camera on the table, people were having a ball taking turns with the camera.

– My dress wasn’t quite as fitted as I wanted.. I had to keep pulling it up to smooth it out, and I forgot to do so pretty often.

– I regret with the seamstress we chose for DH’s tux [our Groomsmen, FOB and bridesmaid also went there]. We had dropped off his pants in july for a hem, and we had to pick them up on the MORNING of the wedding. Same with the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, and FOB/GM pants. It was awful, I can’t believe it took her so long to hem a pair of freaking pants.

– I regret not holding my own money bag from the dollar dance. We had it set up to where the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen hold the bag/hat, and send people in. Well, somehow $100 came up missing [we know because DH’s grandmother gave us each $100 to dance with us, and we only had 1 $100 bill, instead of two]. I don’t know who did it, and I don’t care that much. But still, kind of a crappy thing to do.

– I forgot to grab my garter so we never did a garter toss. Darling Husband also forgot to put on his cufflinks.

– not having someone fill the water pitchers on the tables.. they were empty!

– Hay Bale Area / Cigar Bar – because it was snowing, we obviously werent able to have the fire pit/outdoor smoking area. We have TONS of items leftover from that, and TONS of cigars. The men still enjoyed the cigars here and there, but the weather pretty much screwed us on it.

 

On the other hand, things I’m super happy we did :

– I’m glad I was a DIY bride, we saved so much and everything looked fabulous

– I’m glad we hired a bartender.. we supplied all of the alcohol and brought in someone to mix drinks. He did fabulous and I’m super excited.

– I’m glad I chose the dj, photographer & catering I did. They all charged very fair prices for the work we received. Our dj even sent me a list of every song he used for the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner & reception so I can burn a disk of our wedding songs!

– Wrote our own ceremony, and had it the way we liked it – also our officiant was fantastic, so glad I chose her.

– We wrote our own vows, and printed them on sheets which we used in the ceremony, I didn’t care at the time about printing them out, but now that I have them, I plan to put them in a keepsake shadow box and I LOVE that idea.

– Super glad I went to costco for flowers, saved tons and still have beautiful flowers.

– While I’m super happy we had a candy buffet, my aunt [once again] ravaged the thing, to the point where she was trying to take home the actual VASES with candy in them. We had plates for eating things there, and boxes for taking home, there was no reason for this. I kind of wish I didn’t invite her at all.

Post # 449
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a few regrets

1. Having a bridal party- things would have been so much easier without them.  I thought having my closest friends around me would have made things easier.  Instead, I was stressed out, annoyed and playing referee.

2. Not dancing enough with DH- I was so consumed with being Ms. Manners to my guests that i spent more time saying “thank you for coming” than i did anything else.

3. not eating- i barely ate dinner or cake.  I was again busy with  “thank you for coming”

4. taking criticisms to heart- a few family members had less than stellar things to say to me about my appearance…… it hurt then and wow does it still hurt to this day

Post # 450
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Our wedidng really went off without any complications, the only thing that went “wrong” was the venue played the wrong playlist during our meal (they just repeated the cocktail hour playlist we gave them) but I didn’t even notice until my husband pointed it out so, eh.

Oh, and I had a birdcage veil that I LOVED, but wish I would have gotten a few more photos w/o it on.

The day was the best day. I feel very lucky.

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