(Closed) **Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsWoW:  That is awful. Just an idea – you should send the postcards as “thank yous” to the people that attended.  it would still go with the theme of your wedding.

again, just an idea Smile

Post # 78
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is a great thread!!! Will start my list now of must have wedding photos and things i want to make sure happen the day of lol!! Def will be refering back to this thread in a few months!!

Post # 79
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Only 2 regrets and both are pretty minor

1.  There are no pictures of the train of my dress – I LOVED MY TRAIN but we are thinking of doing a trash the dress session which would solve that problem

2.  I trusted the pastry chef at the four seasons and I should have gotten a signed contract of what I wanted for my cake.  I hated my cake – we were appalled but no one else knew the difference so I guess it was ok

This is what we gave for our inspiration

and this is what we got – it looked very amateur and wrong colors and just totally underwhelming

Post # 80
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

About nine months after the wedding, only a few things still bother me:

1) We forgot to do our thank you speech at the reception despite crafting one…whoops!

2) My florist was supposed to wrap a family heirloom handkercheif around my bouquet but couldn’t because it was too delicate. In my rush, I forgot to incorporate it in my attire in some other way. While cleaning up the bride’s getting ready room after the wedding, someone accidentally threw it away–it’s gone. Besides losing the heirloom, the wrapping she did use in it’s place was ugly–she used orange and green…my colors were blue and yellow.

3) I wish I would have paid to extend the reception. The party was still hopping at 11–thank goodness for the after party!

I also didn’t love my photographers–they missed a number of posed shots (full length dress, me with my siblings, my bouquet) despite them being on my must shoot list. I did a belated day after session recently and got most of what was missed…would definitely recommend this to other brides so there is less pressure to get every shot day-of.

Post # 81
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is such a cool thread! Definitely subscribing ๐Ÿ™‚ You ladies have been SO helpful! And I think I will get a 2nd photographer, haha. I was already considering it, and you have all convinced me! 

Post # 82
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A little different, but I regret (and have apologized for) being a bit short tempered the day of.  I am not comfortable as the center of attention, so that was an extra stress.  And I know it was nerves, but I was not hungry.  Everyone kept insisting that I had to eat something until I finally snapped at my soon-to-be aunt-in-law.  Mom stepped in and made everyone leave me alone for a while.  She also bought out a couple stores worth of Gingerman cookies.  Those I ate.

Oh and tripping over the aisle runner.  Not sure how I could have avoided that but it’s caught on tape along with the collected gasp from everyone in attendance.  That’s going to stick with me for a while.

Post # 83
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

  1. This is not really a regret, but I originally wanted an easy, no-fuss ~30-person local wedding.  I was thinking we could go to city hall and then get a private room at a restaurant.  My husband wanted a bigger guest list and an outdoor rural location.  So, we did the whole shebang.  It was, as I expected, way too much effort and cost.  We could afford it, but I didn’t really care about all those extras.  I would have preferred to save the stress, hassle and money.  Having a bigger event with more people didn’t make me any happier to get married.  I would have even picked an elopement if I didn’t think it would devastate our parents.  The reason this is not really a regret is that my husband is happy that we had the big wedding.
  2. I regret trusting our @&*#(! venue owner regarding coordination of the event.  He and his wife made the wedding planning process very difficult.  They did not get along with our caterer, and we had a very terrible relationship by the time of the wedding.  He sorta kinda redeemed himself by helping us out of an emergency situation that was caused by Hurricane Irene.  If it wasn’t for that, I would be ripping him apart on every internet review site I could find.  Nine months later, I am still bitter about the experience.  Part of me hopes that his new wedding business venture fails completely.  Had I known this in advance, I would have avoided it by hiring a wedding planner to absorb some of his ridiculousness and spare me his whiny nonsense.
  3. I regret giving my husband a hard time about wanting to build our huppah!  I was already stressed out by too many DIY projects and didn’t want to add another one.  But on our wedding day I was really touched that he went to such trouble, especially since it’s not even his tradition.  (I’m Jewish; he’s not.)

I guess there may be other little things, like not thinking through exactly what shots I wanted from my photographer, and not leaving enough time — thanks to the hurricane emergency — to finish our playlist and instead dumping it on a friend.  But since I didn’t care so much about having a big wedding, that stuff doesn’t really bug me so much.

Post # 84
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My list of regrets has been haunting me ever since the wedding, and I have to admit that it’s comforting to know other brides have equally long lists themselves. And obviously, there were a number of high points in the day (or in my case, weekend), not the least of which being the whole MARRIED part!

But, on to the regrets:

— Welcome Dinner. I had to twist the arm of my ILs to get moving on planning this dinner, in particular because 70 out of 90ish guests were attending. I was stressed, already tired from dealing with the “small stuff” that has to be done the day before a wedding, and in the middle of a snowstorm. I greeted guests as they arrived at the inn, I smiled, I tried to chat with people I didn’t know, and had a killer headache. Cue the dinner: Father-In-Law stands up, introduces himself and Mother-In-Law and Brother-In-Law, says thanks for coming, and sits. No mention of me, DH, or  my parents. My father stands up, does a sweet little toast, thanks the ILs and guests. And then… not a single person spoke to me for the rest of the night. Not. One.

— I eventually left the dinner, just as my intoxicated Mother-In-Law was going to another room to continue drinking and listen to my father’s music group do a little impromptu performance. I wanted to go, but started shaking and just ran to my parents’ suite where I’d be spending the night. All of a sudden, I started sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn’t stop. My mother came in and just sat with me. Eventually my DH came by, and he just held me until I calmed down — an hour later. We still don’t know what triggered this random breakdown (um, I’m very happily married so it wasn’t cold feet) but it was horrible.

— Following that episode, I didn’t sleep. Not at all, not even a little. Cue continuation of headache, which at least never developed into a full-blown migraine.

— My mother was a witch all morning. She told me to “be quiet and leave me alone” a few times, and never smiled or congratulated me on my wedding day. I only got ready with her, so it wasn’t like I could seek refuge in someone else.

— My DH’s aunt the hairdresser was supposed to do my hair first thing in the morning, but she went MIA for over an hour. Kiss the timeline and my bridal calm goodbye. When she finally finished my hair, it looked completely horrible and NOTHING like our trial. I still resent it. I also had to rush my makeup (DIY) so I’m not wearing enough and look very plain in pictures.

— My gown looked fine, but I couldn’t breathe due to the corset. It kept tightening on me, and even after loosening it multiple times, I ended up just not eating (at all, nothing) and barely standing. I didn’t even have anything to drink. I hope our food was good…

— As seen in the pic above, the doors of our ceremony space were visible. They were supposed to be covered completely, with beautiful draped chiffon.

— All of my flowers were wrong. The bouts, my spray pinned to my muff, and the centerpieces all had red berries. In my contract it states: absolutely no red, of any kind. Yeah, we got some $$ back on that one, but really, you can’t change the pictures.

— Oh, and ditto on the decor in general. I should have spent the $1000 on chiavari chairs, and it’s my own damn fault. I hate myself for it still, and my mother even said she hates looking at pictures of the tables.

— At the after party, we walked in a few minutes late. Nobody looked up, said anything, or even acknowledged our presence. They were too busy talking about the Patriots game.

Sigh. I re-read my list and realize how stupid I sound, but that doesn’t stop my stomach from turning every time I think about it all. Why do we let it bother us so much? I have some very happy memories: doing our surprise father-daughter dance to The Twist, our fantastic Fenway Park cake and cutting, a nice ceremony that didn’t contain any major flubs, my father’s music group playing a special song at the reception (that’s the only time I cried the entire day). I try to focus on the good stuff, and hope I eventually forget all the bad.

Okay, for kicks, my favorite wedding photo of all time (and yes, I STILL hate my hair and the stupid veil I wore to shut my mother up):

Post # 85
Member
11 posts
Newbee

@BostonBaby, for what it’s worth, I think you look spectacular in the pictures you posted.  I hope I look half as nice at my wedding!

Post # 86
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@BostonBaby:  you have gorgeous pictures! That last one, omg!

Post # 87
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@BostonBaby:  I’m sorry that you experienced those negative things. I understand that they definitely matter to you. However, I just want to say that I think you look absolutely gorgeous!! I LOVE your amazing gown, tiara/headband, and earrings — and, for what it’s worth, despite your DH’s aunt’s hairstyling shortcomings in your eyes, I think your hair looks beautiful!

Post # 88
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@mavideniz:  

View original reply
@Magdalena:  

Aw well thanks, ladies! I appreciate the compliments. Now, if I could only see what YOU see, I’d be golden, right?! ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 89
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Brielle:  Thank you! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’ll admit, I liked my headband. My problem with the hair was how high it was in the back — to me, it made my head look like those fake princess-hats they give to little girls to play dress-up. Y’know…

Post # 90
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Something Sparkly:  thanks, yes it seemed crazy to not get one of the two songs you were hired to play right! I think it just goes to show that no matter how much you plan, glitches are inevitable. Hopefully time will turn it into a funny memory instead of e ‘grrr’ it is now ๐Ÿ™‚ Great idea on the postcards! I hadn’t thought of that!

Post # 91
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

@Dolfyn:  I’m scared I’m gonna be like that. I get really witchy when people fuss over me too much and there’s too much activity around me that pertains to me. Being the center of uncontrolled attention is not my strong suit. Now, I can get up and do a presentation and answer questions, but I can’t deal with people in my face too much.

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