(Closed) **Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 93
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

This thread is fantastic!  Though I am sorry for all the heartache these regrets have caused you ladies!

Post # 94
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@randombee:  I think this is a combination of catharsis for us marrieds and insight for the brides-to-be. I think it’s really important to remember that weddings aren’t perfect, even when we so desperately want them to be. We had nothing go seriously wrong, and for that I’m thankful, but it’s kind of a relief to talk about the stupid “little things” that only a few people would notice. 

I hope some of these stories are helpful — something good out of something bad! — but that they don’t scare anybody. Prepare as much as possible, but when the day comes, just cross your fingers and hope for the best! 😀

Post # 95
7574 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I only have two regrets one of which I really regret and the other is more of I wish we had of done.

My Maid/Matron of Honor forgot to give me a horseshoe charm that was her grandmothers and that her mother wanted me to carry. The thing that is the regret is that MOH’s mum was supposed to be at my Destination Wedding but had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before my wedding so had to cancel her trip as she was still undergoing treatment. The thing was I spent a lot of time with her over my life (like a second mum) and especially during her treatments because I have had breast cancer a couple of times and she felt like she could talk to me and I would understand which made us much closer. We never told her that Maid/Matron of Honor forgot to give it to me and I feel so bad about the lie and the fact that I didn’t have it but not as badly as my Maid/Matron of Honor who was in tears when she realised.

The wish I had of done was that we had planned on going out to party after the reception (which ended at 11pm) but everyone was so tired that most went to bed and just myself, hubby, best man and his Fiance and my Maid/Matron of Honor went swimming in the resort pool and had a couple of drinks. I was kind of looking forward to partying into the early hours with my friends and family. But the upside was I got to spend more time with my new hubby alone!

Post # 96
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

These are really helpfull! Especially the photograph ones…when you pay so much because ‘it is all you have left afterwards’ and then are dissapointed in what you get, I can imagine that it must be a huge downer!


Post # 97
4 posts

Second marraige, coming up on 15 year anniversary.  We had an extremely small wedding.  Only immediate family (less than 20 people), in my parents beautiful garden, so we didn’t want to go all out on expenses. We did the food ourselves (cold buffet), covered the picnic tables and seats with white tablecloths made from sheets, and used my mother’s fine china and real silver.  Beautiful, seasonal flowers were in vases on the tables, and everything was absolutely lovely.  The weather was perfect (an unseasonable cool 80 degrees with a nice breeze and no humidity).  Very unusual for August on the east coast of Virginia!

His sister takes beautiful photographs, so we asked her to do the pictures. A couple from my husband’s job offered to do them as well for $50.00 and just give us the film to develop.  Needless to say, he didn’t see the need for that.  Several times, I said, “Are you sure you don’t want so-n-so to do the pictures too?”  Always same answer.  One week before the wedding I told him, half jokingly, that if we didn’t have nice pictures of our wedding, he’d regret (hear about) it for the rest of his life.  Wedding takes place, a LOT of very nice shots were taken of the entire ceremony and afterward.

Two weeks go by, no word from SIL, 3 weeks…a month.  Finally, we called her.  It seems there was something wrong with her camera, and we have ZERO pictures, that’s right, NONE, nada, zippo.  My mom took about 5 pictures of us with the cake and the toast, but that’s it.  Nothing else.  Needless to say, my husband hears about it EVERY year on our anniversary. My wedding album is now a weddingS album, with pictures from our parents, siblings, and other relatives weddings in it.

This year, our daughter’s getting married a few days before our anniversary.  Needless to say, we’ve booked more than one photographer!

Post # 98
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@honeybee1999:  Its funny I saw the pics and noticed it immediately.. but most of my bridal party and my DH said the same thing you did lol!

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@randombee:  I guess we are most critical of ourselves huh? Thank you for the compliment

Post # 99
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can totally relate to what Dolfyn posted.  I feel HORRIBLE because I definitely had a few bridezilla moments that I am not proud of (which is definitely not me at all, promise!!!)

The church was trying to kick us out as soon as possible (ie if we wanted any photos in the church after the ceremony, then we couldn’t have a receiving line due to time constraints).  The plan was for us to “hide” downstairs so guests would leave, but the guests would not leave so DH & I had to go out and make an appearance, get in the car and go around the block.  Which in writing this, sounds ridiculous, but I was so annoyed because I knew the church was trying to kick us out and we just wanted to get those pictures done!  Later, while we were taking more photos, some of my extended family saw me and were like, “Hey! What time is the reception!? How do we get to the ballroom?”  (Um, hello, did you not look at the wedding website or the invitations I hand-made which contained ALL of that information)…I literally just ignored them and walked away!Embarassed (So horrible and nothing I would ever do normally!) 

Some people also were trying to “spy” during pictures of just me and my husband (which I find hard enough to not look awkward in without an audience!) so I’m sure I gave a few death-stare “hints” which I feel terrible about.  We literally had no time at the reception but I did make time for a family photo with the one side of the family [the side that hardly ever gets together/with my 90-year-old grandma) When my dad exclaimed, “Now the other side” I literally was like, “No, Dad!” and just ran away .  I feel SO terrible about that but I had to keep telling people “no” when they kept trying to get me stay for photos on their crappy phones and stuff.  I just wanted to have a few minutes to enjoy the reception which I worked so hard on planning! 

I also feel bad because I never had a chance to say hi to about 5 of our guests….but luckily my husband said he covered those.  Argh, I feel so selfish re-reading this! 

Post # 100
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@mamachick2:  OH. MY. GOSH. That is one of everyone’s biggest wedding-nightmare scenarios! I cannot EVEN imagine!!! I am SO sorry that happened to you! It sounds as if you have dealt with this so much better than I — and perhaps many others of us — would have.

The closest we came to that was with our videographer, who told us to expect our video in about a month. That timeframe came and went, and we heard nothing. Over the next several months, I spoke to him, and he told me he was working on it and would have it done soon. The NEXT several months was a combination of me calling and leaving messages and e-mailing him and praying that I really would have a wedding video. It ended up taking NINE MONTHS for me to receive it. Even though our video didn’t include everything I was hoping it would, our videographer did do a nice job on it, and, frankly, after all of the anguish I had gone through thinking that I may never see it, I was just so incredibly thankful to God that I actually had it in my hands!

By the way — those of you who did or who plan to book more than one photographer — Did you have/are you having two from the same photography vendor? I know that most photography contracts stipulate that the photographer you’re hiring must be the only official photography business photographing the event.

Post # 101
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wish I fixed the boning in the bodice of my dress–it was kind of pointy and I didn’t really notice until I saw the pics. That’s something probably no one else would ever have noticed, though.

My real regreat was that I didn’t get to try the mini grilled cheeses/tomato soup shooter apps I was so excited about. People still rave about them, and I never got to try it.

Other than that–everything was great!

Post # 102
4 posts

@Brielle:  Oh wow, I can’t believe a professional would take that long!  And believe me, the first year or so of our marraige he heard about it everytime there was an event in which pictures were to be taken, everytime we went an amusement park where they had the photo booth type thing, every vacation.  He still gets reminded every anniversary.  LOL.  He’s a good sport though.  Maybe for our 20 year anniversary we’ll do the whole renew the vows thing and have some nice pictures.

One of the photographers for my daughter’s wedding is a professional photographer and family friend.  She’s doing it as a wedding gift.  She said, “Feed me and I’ll do it for free.”  Laughing  The other is a budding photographer with a very creative perspective.  We’re on a tight budget, so please pray this all turns out. 

We also plan to set up a “photo download center” at her reception and have the DJ/Emcee announce every half hour or so for guests to bring their cameras, phones, etc over and we’d download them to a zip drive right there.  That way they wouldn’t have to worry about sending the pictures to the newlyweds after the wedding.  I’m going to make sure she has pictures of her wedding!  Smile

Post # 103
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love this thread! Our big day is coming up in four months here and after reading this I have a pile of post-it notes all over my monitor now of things I need to pay attention to! The one I NEVER would have thought of was the one about the amount of chairs at the ceremony…..I gave the venue the amount of people AT THE WEDDING for the amount of chairs, instead of the amount of people MINUS Fiance and I, and our 8 attendants!

Keep posting ladies!!!! Smile

Post # 104
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

this is an awesome post!

Post # 106
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had the greatest time on my wedding day, but looking back there are some things I definitely wish had gone differently:

1. Carry around pictures of everything while you’re decorating and show them what’s in your head when they volunteer to help with stuff.  My dad had no idea how paper lanterns are supposed to look and instead of being somewhat clustered over the front tables they were spread out individually all over the room.  I should have had a picture and also purchased about 4x the number of lanterns that I did.  I also wish we’d decorated the space over the dance floor better.  Our venue was a loft space with beautiful wood colums and flooring, but my pictures would have turned out a lot better if it wasn’t so sparse…  Additionally, I made my cake (a decision I definitely DON’T regret even though it was really time consuming).  I was supposed to look like this:

but I didn’t want it to sit in the freezer at the venue all night and risk it tipping over so I asked our reception hall coordinator if she could just sit the silver tray and top tier on top before wheeling it out right before the reception.  She agreed and I thought she understood but it somehow ended up like this:

It still looked ok, but it wasn’t what I wanted (and had worked really hard to get).  Also, there was a big hand print on the back where she picked it up off the platter – not visible to the guests, but it still drives me crazy…if only I’d shown her a picture!

2. I wish I’d directed my photographers more (or booked different photographers…they’ve been a real pain to deal with since the wedding…).  There are tons of details they didn’t take even one picture of: table settings, staircase decor, our louge and bar areas, me with my bouquet, the ring bearer pillow (which I handmade), programs, guests being seated, ceremony decor, etc…and also there are only two pictures of me before the wedding (which I basically forced her to take) and only one picture of the ring bearer and flower girl (and they are both looking either freaked out or mad).

3. Paying too much for flowers (we only had the bouquets and bouts done professionally, did the rest ourselves).  I went with the guy who seemed to know what he was doing but was charging 3x the other quote I got.  I thought the other florist was either way underestimating or wasn’t going to do a very lush job.  Boy was I wrong.  Almost every element of the “I hate these bouquets” pictures I brought him was in my bouquet.  He charged an arm and a leg and I didn’t even get close to what I wanted.  My mom even had to beef up my bouquet with some of the roses we’d purchased ourselves for the reception.

4. I wish I had a picture of my ENTIRE family.  My dad has 11 brothers and sisters and all but one travelled from all over the country to come to the wedding.  We tried to skimp on the formals so that we could cut down on the time guests were waiting at the reception, but now I really regret not taking the extra 5 minutes to do this (or corralling everyone during dinner or dancing later at the reception).

Alright, I’ll get off my soapbox now.  Thanks for indulging me!

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