(Closed) Please, someone tell me I'm not crazy..

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Ninteenthchance:  My Darling Husband and Iwere only engaged for two months before going to the courthouse. My friends moved fast and threw me a bachlorette party, but not his friends. Fast forward on our one yr anniversery we had our actual wedding. His friends then decided to throw him a bachelor party. I didnt have an issue with it because you only get married once and though we were married for a year already I didnt mind.

HOWEVER, he did not party the entire weekend, it was only one night and in town

Post # 33
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t mind if Darling Husband went on a weekend trip with his friends if he didn’t insist on calling it a bachelor party and there weren’t going to be strippers and stuff. My Darling Husband works 24-36 hour shifts, so I guess I was pretty used to him being gone during my pregnancy.

Post # 35
Member
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Ninteenthchance:  Yeah that would really bother me. I would think the two of you should get away together. I would suggest he’s just scared, but you guys already have a child so it’s not like he needs one last hurrah or anything.

He definitely needs to meet you in the middle somewhere with this thing.

Post # 36
Member
3062 posts
Sugar bee

@Ninteenthchance:  Yeah maybe in the future he can have a boys weekend (not an actual Bachelor Party) but not now. You guys have a toddler and you are a working, pregnant lady. I wouldn’t want him going either. You are not crazy.

Post # 37
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Ninteenthchance:  Going away with his buds for a weekend hunting/fishing/whatever sounds fine but calling it a bachelor party after he’s already married irks me.  It also makes me think illegal strippers are going to be at the cabin and while I’m pretty liberal about strippers, the kind that go to private parties worry me.  If he wanted a bachelor party he had plenty of time to do one before you got married.  Once you’re married you don’t get the “free pass” for a bachelor night because now you have responsibilities.

I think it sets a bad precedent for him to have a bachelor party after the wedding.  Especially one in a rented cabin in the woods where God knows what is happening while his pregnant wife sits at home.  This is one of the few times I would say no and mean it.

Post # 38
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Oh and no bachelor weekend before you get your honeymoon either.  Again, priorities.

Post # 39
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Ninteenthchance:  uh, yeah, echoing same sentiments here, he’s being selfish and unreasonable. keep your foot down! If he doesn’t like it, then suggest that you take a weekend away with your girlfriends right after the baby is born…

Post # 41
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Ninteenthchance:  you’re right and I thought about that after I posted. Two “wrongs” don’t make a right either. I replied out of frustration for you!!! 

I dunno hon. I would hope, for the same of the relationship, that he’ll listen to you and take this quite seriously. As everyone said, and you’re well aware…that bachelor ship has SAILED. Over. Done.  Notta. I hope he comes to grips soon!!! 

Post # 42
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This would defintiely bother me as well! I think though, like a few PP’s have suggested, that you really need to think about WHY it bothers you. Although “because he’s married, has a toddler, and a pregnant wife” might sound like enough to the women (including me), it’s just not rational enough for a man!

For me, it would be something like “I’m frickin’ exhausted – I’m 7mths pregnant and chasing around a toddler all day, and right now I really don’t think I can handle having you gone for an entire weekend, and having to take care of our child on my own. It also makes me nervous that I’m only two months out from full term, and even though it’s highly unlikely I’ll go into labor, it just makes me uncomfortable. And, it does bother me a bit that you’re having a bachelor party after we’re married. That makes me uncomfortable too!”

He can’t argue with how it makes you feel. Depending on which of the above resonates the most with you (if any), try talking to him more about that too. If it’s the last thing, ask what he plans on doing there. Strippers would bother me, especially since he’s already married! But maybe that’s not his intention at all.

Good luck! I hope it works out!

 

Post # 43
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sounds like he’s having some sort of crisis, you guys are about to have a baby and you’re married. Sounds like he’s trying to relive his ‘bachelor’ lifestyle for a weekend, and I agree HELL NO to the cabin, I can imagine the things his friends have planned. If he wanted a bachelor party he shoul’ve done it before the wedding, that’s the whole point of that type of party. Now he’s married, hes NOT a bachelor anymore so that is pointless. You need to put your foot down, you shouldn’t have agreed to it either.

 

Post # 44
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would not be okay with this at all. I would be quite upset if my husband wanted to leave me 7 months pregnant with a toddler to go have a wild weekend. Us women are the ones who carry the baby, but that does not mean that the SO’s responsibilities don’t start until the baby is born. I’m also 7 months pregnant and I can’t imagine feeling the way I am and trying to get  ready for baby plus having a toddler running around. He needs to be helping you out as much as possible instead of taking off for a carefree weekend while you take on everything.

Post # 45
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsPanda99:  

+1

I hate it when I read about husbands who don’t put their wives before their friends.

It is just awful and selfish.

Post # 46
Member
2971 posts
Sugar bee

No he needs to take you away somewhere nice instead.  And you need to plan your delayed honeymoon.

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