Post # 1
This may be a rather unusual post but here goes: Last year I lost a little over 50 lbs and am now at my goal weight. I have maintained it for 6 months and feel wonderful. I had been unemployed for a bit in 2010, which caused me to eat out of boredom, gain weight, and never bother taking it off. I’ve never been this size and I’m loving it and working hard to maintain it.
I lost the weight through Weight Watchers. However, my big kick in the butt to get started was a Biggest Loser competition at work. I did not win, because the program was only 3 months and I chose to lose the weight slowly to avoid putting it back on. Sadly, doing the program at work caused EVERYONE to notice my weight loss. Don’t get me wrong, for the duration of my weight loss journey, and even for months after that, the compliments were great. But now, I’m getting annoyed. I didn’t lose weight to constantly be reminded that I used to be heavy!!!
One woman in particular, who dropped out of the Biggest Loser because she was struggling, had the AUDACITY to tell me “Oh, you’re young, you can lose 10 more lbs if you really wanted to.” Excuse you?! I’m in the healthy weight range for my height (actually on the low end of it) and I’m happy. I’m also constantly getting “Oh, you’ve kept it off? Well, good for you.” Seriously? People are also constantly critiquing what I eat and practically trying to force-feed me bagels because I “don’t eat enough.” I do NOT have an eating disorder, I never let myself go hungry and I am at a very healthy weight.
I know this might not sound like a travesty, but I have people in other departments, some of whom I’m not even on a first-name basis with, STILL talking about my weight. I find it extremely rude. This is who I am now. I’m used to it, I’m comfortable with my body, and talking about previously being heavy is a sore spot for me. I was miserable.
Anyone else ever been through this? Anything I can say to these people (especially ones I don’t really know) to let them know that I no longer wish to talk about this? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated!
Thanks Bees!! 😀
Post # 3
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was always kinda chubby growing up, but about a year and a half ago I developed some weird stomach condition, and for whatever reason I could not keep my weight up and I dropped about 50 pounds over 8 months (dropping me from kinda chubby but still in a healthy range to looking like an anorexic, which was one of the diagnoses from my doctor.) They still have not found the souce of the issue and I’m still seeing doctors about keeping my weight up.
I liked the compliments at first, but since I went into an unhealthy range anytime anyone comments on it I can’t stand it. I don’t feel healthy, and I don’t like my bones sticking out, and it feels horrible when people compliment it because in my head I’m screaming “can’t you see how unhealthy this weight is?? Why would you encourage someone to be this thin”. I’m actually trying hard to gain at least 5 lbs before the wedding just to make sure I can be healthier and feel better for my new life with my husband. However, whenever I say this to any of my friends or family (I live in a high-obesity area) they say I am being a bitch or rubbing it in their faces.
Don’t listen to them when they say you need to go lower. Hell, I’ve gotten comments that I need to “lose some of the junk in the trunk” when I was really skinny because I have wide hips and a big butt. Do what YOU feel is healthy. I’m barely in the healthy range now, and people say I look great, but I know that to make myself comfortable, I need to be a minimum of a certain weight. NEVER go a lower weight than you feel comfortable with, it could lead to all sorts of problems.
Post # 4
@GoddessofNerdvana: Thanks so much for sharing that with me. I hope everything works out and that the doctors figure out what is wrong.
Some of my friends at work say its jealousy- these women assume I’m stuck up because I’ve lost the weight and they don’t know how to act because they themselves haven’t been successful with it. But I don’t see people that way. And I know how hard it is to lose weight. I may have body issues for the rest of my life because I still have days where I can’t accept that I’m not that girl anymore. And as for that woman who said I could lose 10 more- I blame that on the unfortunate definition that society seems to have for being “skinny.” I have no desire to push it any further. Again, best of luck to you and thanks for your comment. I’m glad I’m not alone!
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s necessarily jealousy, but I think these people may be projecting their own feelings of failing onto you. Try to realize that the issue is with them and not you! Good for you for maintaining!
Post # 6
I agree with philly, it sounds like they are projecting their insecurity about their lack of weight loss on you. I feel for you, those people sound incredibly rude. Also, it is beyond inappropriate for co-workers to talk to you about your eating habits! Congrats on the weight loss, by the way!
Post # 7
I know how you feel! I’ve lost 60 pounds over the last two years and people are already betting that I will gain it all back after the wedding. They don’t acknowledge the fact that I started losing weight WAY before I even got engaged. They don’t acknowledge the fact that I did this for my HEALTH and not my “looks”. I hate it! And I hate being reminded of how different I look and how much more attractive I am. And I REALLY hate all the male attention I’ve been getting (where were all these suitors 60 pounds ago?).
My advice to you is to just keep trucking and don’t pay any mind to people. I’m on Weight Watchers too and plan to “track” for the rest of my life. Good luck!
Post # 8
This is so annoying. I lost 80 pounds over the last year and a bit, and while at first, I basked in the glow of the compliments I was getting, soon it started to get annoying. It doesn’t help that I’ve had people coming up to my closest work friend, and asking her if I’ve had surgery to help my weight loss, or even better, if I have an eating disorder! WTF???
I lost my weight the old fashioned/healthy way – eating healthier and exercising. I did not need to resort to any other means, and I have a completely healthy attitude towards diet and exercise. It actually offends me that people apparently think that I’m not capable of losing weight any other way then sheer will power.
Post # 9
i can totally relate! i have lost 45lbs in about a year and a half, 20 of which have come off in the last 6 months. i have been working hard and its nice to be acknowledged to a point. but if you dont know my middle name, do you really think we are on a level where it is appropriate to ask me what i weigh?
at a work function, sitting at a table with several coworkers, an older MALE coworker complimented my appearance by saying “you look great!” -nice- and then followed it with “you used to be huge!” ummmm not so nice.
Post # 10
Thanks so much to all of you for your stories. It helps to know I’m not crazy and imagining that these people are rude! Congrats to all of you on your weight loss as well. Thank you again for all of the support and advice, you have all been very helpful 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo
wow. I thought I was the only person annoyed about this. For the past TEN years, everytime I lose a bit of weight, EVERYONE comments about it, and I hate it so much that I just gain it all back in a couple of weeks. It’s really self-destructing, I know, but I can’t help it. It makes me feel that I’m making other people happy by losing weight, not myself, so I subconsciously gain it back to prove them wrong.
ETA: and to be honest, reading about you girls who STILL go through it long after you’ve lost weight, really makes me feel there’s no way out of it. I wish people wouldn’t be so rude. weight gain/loss is something so personal.
Post # 12
@Adams_bee: I completely agree. Its one thing to compliment somebody one time, but to constantly talk about it can be very destructive. Hang in there, girl! Obviously I started this thread so I know how much it sucks and how hard it is not to slip back into old habits, but just remember that your health is most important. Screw everyone else! (Is that too mean? Sorry 😉
Post # 13
Yeah, I started losing weight before I even got engaged and I’m still trying to get down into my healthy weight range (after losing 25, only 10 more pounds or less!). Of course, now, people watch what I eat and assume it’s because I want to look better for the wedding. NO! I just want to be healthy! People are too all up in everyone else’s business.
Post # 14
This happened to a friend, she wasn’t overwieght, but he had gotten a bit .. fluffy.. after she had her baby and didn’t lose the weight. When she finally did, people asked her NON stop if she was “ok” and if everything was alright. SHe looked amazing and was so frusterated by the comments.
PS Congrats on losing all the weight PPs! Thats so amazing
Post # 15
I would just tell them to stop. Next time they try to force feed you a bagel, tell them “No thank you, and I would appreciate it if you stopped telling me what I “should” eat. I can handle that myself.” Next time they start talking about your weight say “I would really rather not talk about it, if that’s alright.” I would just be blunt.
I’m not really in your situation, but I REALLY HATE IT when people comment on what I eat. How is it anyone’s business but mine!? Whether you think it’s gross, unhealthy, unsustaining, whatever, please shut up. I am sure I can feed myself.
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo
@DeathByDesign: I wish I was as assertive as you are! I’m pretty assertive myself, but when they “hit me where it hurts” i’m usually lost for words. :/