(Closed) "Please Stop Telling Me To Eat", an open letter

posted 5 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Ugh. People need to stop with the body shaming ALL AROUND. It’s not okay to make fun of someone for being fat and tell them to stop eating, just as it’s not okay to make fun of someone for being thin and tell them to eat.

My good friend is naturally skinny – extremely low body fat percentage and a total inability to gain weight no matter what she eats. She has tons of health issues because of her size and no amount of cheeseburgers are going to change her, nor should they. Girls make snide comments everywhere she goes and it hurts her a LOT.

I think you should send this to that person then remove them as a “friend”. Teach her a lesson to THINK before saying shit she obviously knows is offensive.

And congratulations on getting through your struggles and coming out on the other side. I understand fully how none of that ever truly goes away, but you get through it. *hug*

Post # 5
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“Dear Intrusive, Clueless Female In Your Personal Life”

This letter should be an excellent reminder that we NEVER know someone elses situation unless we walk in their shoes, which brings up my next reminder, your opinions are stupid, and most definitely unwarranted.  So the next time you want to recommend someone eats a cheeseburger, think twice, because you could get your ass handed to you!

OP, thanks for sharing, and of course, I wish you continued success on what I could only imagine is a day to day battle for you!!

Post # 6
Member
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That was very raw and real. You’re very brave to share it with us!

Post # 7
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That was eloquent and lovely.  Thanks.  People are always judging me for being skinny and it drives me nuts.  Good on you for working so hard to take care of yourself and being able to put it into words.

Post # 9
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Preach, girl!

I am sorry this ignorant “friend” said that to you, especially in a public forum, but please try not to let it get to you and understand that she is just insecure and attention-seeking.  I heard the other day that some former associates were talking about my body and saying how I’m too skinny or whatever, and after briefly feeling weird/good about myself for it (I’m definitely not too skinny but happy to know my workout regimen is worthy of conversation!), I realized that these women haven’t worked with me in years and still think about my body, whereas I spend exactly 0 seconds each day thinking about theirs.  How often do you look at this woman’s profile and declare what food you think she should be eating?  I’d venture to say pretty rarely, since you seem like a hot mama who has other things to worry about Wink.  Just take it as an insecure girl’s compliment and be proud of who you are and how far you’ve come.

Post # 10
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@badabing88:  Thank you for sharing your struggle and your success! I hope that at some point people realize that everyone has a struggle and we really don’t know what has happened in other peoples lives and we should stop bullying each other.

Post # 11
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I rarely recommend taking the low road, but maybe you should post, on one of her photos, “Eat a salad!”  and then, later, “OMG but you’re totes gorge.”  (as in totally gorgeous)

 

Post # 12
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@badabing88:  THAT….gave me goosebumps. 

 

You are very brave and I applaud you. 

Post # 13
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@badabing88:  I didn’t have it as rough as you in High School, but I kind of understand what you’re talking about. Dad was diagnosed with cancer my Senior Year (in addition to struggling with Alcohol Addiction), mom was stressed to the max attempting to take care of everyone and work, and a whole bunch of other issues (both familial and personal). I wound up with extremely low self-esteem and used food as a way to punish myself; I wouldn’t eat a whole lot, but what I did eat was mostly junk. Things got so bad my Freshman year of College that I became suicidal (in addition to cutting myself once and struggling with occasionally making myself throw up). One night, I swallowed a whole bunch of Vitamins as a way to practice killing myself (because I wanted to “do it right”). The next day was pretty hellish since I was so sick and it was that point I realized I needed help.

 

People really do need to think before they speak. My dad, who doesn’t know the full extent of what I dealt with, made a comment last summer about me needing to eat more. . . in front of an entire group of people at a BBQ party. He was tipsy at the time, but I can’t even explain the shame and embarassment that caused me.

 

I think as a society we need to stop focusing so much on “fat” or “skinny” and spend more time thinking about health. If we offered people a more supportive environment in which to get help and heal then maybe people like me wouldn’t relapse or struggle with these issues for such long periods of time (I was good for a few years, but did have a small relapse last year). I give you a HUGE amount of credit for working so hard to get healthy and take control of your life. Don’t ever let someone bring you down or make you feel bad for who you are.

 

@MissCalifornia:  +1 to the idea of sending this to that girl who wrote that comment!

 

Post # 14
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@peachacid:  +1!

I loved this, btw. Why is it okay to shame thin people? Unbelievable.

Post # 15
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@badabing88:  wow.  you just described my middle and high school experience almost identically that it brought tears to my eyes.  high five for getting your health back on track and for spreading the word that things are not always what they seem.

Post # 16
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@badabing88:  You sound beautiful both inside and out. Don’t let haters bring you down!

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