Please tell me a $20,000 Honeymoon Fund/Home remodel is NOT normal??

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 17
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

That is so tacky! 

Post # 17
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

That is so tacky! 

Post # 19
Member
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

sandra12345 :  etc, tacky and greedy, how embarrassing. I wouldn’t go along with that/ them. 

Post # 20
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Why are you being asked to throw two showers? I would agree to throw one and say that if they want another one that someone else should host. 

Post # 21
Member
3884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

For wedding gifts I have no problem with this. It’s ok to not want more stuff if you already have everything you need and it’s just going to be more clutter. And it makes it easy for people if you just tell them you prefer money. Even listing the honeymoon/renovations ect is fine because it shows people what their gifts will be going towards and they might want to specify where they want their money to go. They shouldn’t have shown the $20,000 cap, but maybe the website or whatever required them to enter a cap so they just did the max? It’s not like they’re saying each person has to give $20,000!

So yeah for the actual wedding this is fine, but for the showers as well it’s a bit much. To me showers only require a small gift, it’s like the wedding present is the main one and a shower gift is just a little bonus. So if you don’t want anything you should just skip it completely. 

Post # 22
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Completely agree with PP’s here. They sound incredibly greedy.

To say they want 2 showers is ridiculous. I really hope people see through that and don’t entertain that idea by giving it to them. It sounds purely like a money grab on their part, and I feel embarrassed for them for essentially telling friends and family to give them money on three separate occassions. Yikes.

I sincerely hope the $20K cap was put there because they had to display a cap for the website and didn’t have an option, versus them blatantly telling people they need 20K. 

Quite frankly, if I knew this couple I’d feel inclined to give them less of a gift since they’re putting their greed on display. As a guest I feel like I would be put in an uncomfortable position and therefore would give less. Just my thought.

Post # 23
Member
4531 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

sandra12345 :  OK…. I dislike money grabs in any form. One money grab is bad enough in my eyes but to separate it into three categories is even worse.

I’d flat out tell the bride that you don’t feel comfortable hosting a shower where the gift must be in cash. Showers are about giving a gift for the couples life together. For those already set up with everything I’ve seen people do specialized theme ones like bathroom, bedroom, cellar etc but straight up money is a no.

I think this couple will end up with a hell of a lot less money gifted if they hadn’t asked.

As for the amount…. We had no registry of money grab because we actually didn’t care what people gifted. We ended up with 25 percent in gifts and 75% in money. Our crowd is pretty generous and both our parents and ourselves have always gifted generously to our guests special occasions. They did so in kind. We had about 130 guests and we ended up with just under 15k in monetary gifts. It doesn’t sound like the bride and groom will reach their target due to numbers and local norms.

Post # 24
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I know website links are not allowed to be shared on here but i need to see this wedding site!!

Post # 25
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

LMAO.   The couple is living in a dream land to think guests are going to give them $20,000 in cash or gifts.  

 

Post # 26
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee

We recently attended a couples shower they have been together for 12 years and are redoing their house. It was primarily a Home Depot shower. kitcjen remodels are expensive so yes the total of what they are looming for is probably going to be 20k but no they are not fling to get that. Personally I would take the honeymoon off the list. Ask if they will register for parts of their actual kitchen they are putting together (light fixtures, new microwave, cabinet handles garbage disposal, curtains,etc.). There are plenty of pieces of a kitchen remodel that fall in the 50-100$ range and most others will likely be find with bringing cash or gift cards 

Post # 27
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Ruuuuuude. I don’t own a house and probably never will, so I would bristle at the thought of being asked to contribute to the home fitout of someone much more privileged than I. Putting a goal amount just adds a cherry on top of the tacky sundae.

Post # 28
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee

Here no one does gift registries. Couples put bank account number for invites and ask for bank transfers. Usually they are formed in a way “we’ve lived together for a long time and therefore have everything we need. Your attendance is a gift but if you wish to remember us please help us make our honeymoon memorable by giving money to the following account” or soemething like that.

So asking fro money itself is not rude but giving a list where you want to use them and how much is. Also why is there a gift shower? Can’t it be just a nice brunch with no presents. I already think shower, bacheloretteparty and wedding is too many moneymaking events but especially having to give cash as a present for wedding and shower is asking too much.

Post # 29
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not really sure how showers work – is this fund for wedding gifts as well? If so then is it really that bad to say you want money for travel and home renovations instead of listing out gifts in a registry? How is it really that different….I would much rather contribute money for travel and home improvements then needless items, as so many people register for stuff they never use which is wasteful. Travel creates memories you can’t put a price on 🙂 

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