Post # 1
Probably a little Too Much Information but i just Aunt Flo just came to visit so im super over emotional.
K, with that out of the way, here is the story.
We just went to Darling Husband parents house to drop off something and I found papers with booking information. Dh’s parents are paying for his brother and sister (ages 22 and 25) to go to Mexico with them for Christmas this year! and they havent told us!!
Im upset…like really really, balling upset. I told Darling Husband i would be so hurt if my family went to mexico (or anywhere!) with out me.
Its my families side to have us for xmas so Darling Husband just says his family probably doesnt want to “steal” us away from them, hence why they havent told us, or offered for us to come etc. but i think its soooo rude…soooo sneaky. Im just hurt. I know my parents, if they were paying for my sisters to go would ATLEAST tell Darling Husband and I that these are there plans and that “we know you are with his side this xmas but we wanted you to know that you are welcome to come…” I wouldnt be upset if it was just my parents, I mean they are adults if they want to go thats awsome! but when they pay for the siblings to come and exlude another sibling….????
I want you guys to know im not upset that they are PAYING for his siblings, im just more upset that we didnt even get the offer to try and come, that they are just leaving..i mean xmas is like 53 days away and they havent said a WORD and EVERYTHING is booked!
Do i have a right to be upset or is Aunt Flo just being a cow??
Post # 3
Hmm… are they usually passive agressive people? If so, I wouldn’t doubt that this is just the opposite… either to make you jealous or TRY to steal you away, or like… look what we went and did since you’re not BOTHERING to come to christmas.
I would think if my parents wanted ot spend a family Christmas in Mexico, they would wait for a year they could do it with the whole family.
Post # 4
Feel free to tell me if I sound like a paranoid freak…
Post # 5
lol its soooo hard for me to take my bias out of this. Because I’m putting myself in your situation and I see me dancing away from the house because we’re off the hook for christmas…. ok sorry that was bad haha.
But if my parents did this? Yea I’d totally be hurt. So I agree 🙂
Post # 6
Well his mom is very drama queen and I can kind of hear her “well if my son isnt here then its not x0mas *sob sob sob* so we mine as well go elsewhere…its just not the same!!!”
But yeah…i dont get it…they are pretty passive aggresive. I won a cruise and Darling Husband and I went on it for a week, sharing a room (at the time he was just my bf) and they seemed all excited but when we got back we found out they were super upset that we went and had cried the whole time (with some of their/our friends!!!) his dad STILL hasnt asked us how the cruise was and we only found out they were upset about it through someone else (meaning they havent discussed it with us to this day (over a year ago!!!))
Post # 7
@Corgi tales well we are spending Christmas with my family this year anyways so we arent off the hook.. 🙂
Post # 8
I voted that you shouldn’t be upset. You and your husband already have plans for Christmas so IMO it would almost seem like they were rubbing it in your face if they told you guys about it. Also, I don’t really see it as excluding your husband. I am assuming that the brother and sister are not married…so it will just be FI’s parents and siblings going. I think it’s perfectly normal that they would take a trip without your husband since he now has other priorities that includes you and your family. Aunt Flo can be hell, so let the situation ride and see how you feel afterwards.
Post # 9
Honestly… parents can get so weird when it comes to their kids and spouses. I would just give your DH’s family the benefit of the doubt that they have the best of intentions, and just pretend none of this ever happened!
Post # 10
@JamaicaBride You are probably right! Thanks
Although, since we are having christmas next year with them, i dont really see why they cant wait! :p
Post # 11
i cant help but reply. yes you have a right to be mad. my SO’s mom is the exact.same.way. and she has done stuff like this in the past and i totally get what you’re dealing with. i mean she put money towards his bro’s house, bought him furniture, computers, trips, etc.
and nothing for my SO. plus she has totally said to my face when we dont spend the holidays with them that “it’s not ‘x’ holiday without my son”
ugh…don’t worry girl. you will have a fabulous holiday with your family that loves you and your guy to death! 🙂 don’t let her get you down
Post # 12
I agree with Jamaicabride… also, and please just think about this, I don’t know what happened and I am not accusing you of anything, but didn’t you come across those papers? and then read enough of them to figure this out? I wouldn’t be happy if someone came into my house and read through my papers, even if they were in plain sight….. Have you asked them what they are doing for the holiday? maybe bring it up and listen to what they have to say, but I would wait a few days, aunt flow has made me so irrational before…. Good luck and I am sure they didn’t do this to hurt or exclude you guys! But if you are upset talk to them about it, don’t repeat their behavior about the cruise.
Post # 13
I’m not sure, because I know I would be upset, but at the same time my parents did something very similar to me.
Do his siblings live at home?
My parent’s took my younger brother with them to Europe one year and didn’t take me. He was still living at home (he is much younger) and I was living on my own with my boyfriend at that time. They figured I was an adult and took vacations without them, so they shouldn’t have to include me (ie pay for me) on their vacations. He also went to Hawaii with them one year, I was stuck watching the dogs.
I guess my point is, sometimes it sucks being a grown-up. But enjoy Christmas with your family and don’t stress about this, especailly if your husband isn’t.
Post # 14
I would be just as upset if I were you! Unfortunately, I dont think there is anything you can do about it 🙁
Post # 15
Honestly, I’d be more hurt if they brought it up because it is kind of throwing it in your face when they already know you have plans with your side of the famliy.
We’re in a similar boat with Thanksgiving this year. It’s our year to be with my family and meanwhile DH’s parents and sister are going to the Carribean and didn’t invite us. But they know we already have plans to be with my family so this in no way bothers me. It’s still their break and their holiday and they should be able to celebrate it as they see fit – whether you and your Darling Husband can come or not.
Who knows, maybe they’ll go again next year when it is your year to be with them. That’s what my DH’s parents are doing. They’ve already told us that next year for Thanksgiving (since it IS our year to be with them), they are taking us and DH’s sister to Cancun with them! (I’m already excited!)
Post # 16
I agree with Flutterbi.
I say no too. They are taking the family on a vacation. And they figure that he is a grown adult you are too and their son is married and out of the house that they can do what they want. It’s something I could see my parents doing when I’m married. They tell me now that when I’m gone they are going to go somewhere too. More power to them. I wish I could! But you already had plans as well and I don’t think you should be that upset. I would try and let it be and listen to your hubby or have him say something to them about it. Sorry but I know it’s hard to chew but some times we have to move on and accept that we can’t go on all the vacations with everyone like we would like and if they knew that you were all going to be gone for the Christmas timeframe I don’t blame them.