Post # 32
@Baileyh: oohhh…the no-gift thing is weird too. I mean, you’re not participating in the trip and, if you’ve always exchanged gifts in the past, this is weird. I can understand you finding that…..uncomfortable and not that welcoming. It’s like “hey, we’re going away because you wouldn’t spend Christmas with us and to further alienate you from our Christmas, we’re not exchanging gifts with you because the trip you can’t go on is the gift…that we aren’t giving to you”. Awkward.
I’m sorry. I’d be hurt to. Not about the gifts, trip, etc. but because they seem to excluding you.
Post # 33
@Arwenbride Thanks. That pretty much what i was alluding to this whole post. I kow some people though it was the money etc (them paying for the other siblings)…but this is my first time as a daughter in law to anybody and i feel pretty shafted!
Post # 34
Just a little update on this situation as I dont feel any better about it.
I know they said they are planning on taking us for Christmas next year to mexico to make up for going this year….but yeah. When they firs tsaid it i knew it was just verbale diarhea to make up for the fact that other family members have made them feel awfule about it…I told Darling Husband that im not going to hold my breath and that I very much doubt they will take us next year.
Welllll….drum roll. This year all of Darling Husband side of the family is supposed to be going to mexico in March but Darling Husband parents have been saying they cant afford it blah blah blah. Well about 40 days before Christmas DH’s parents announce they are going to mexico…seriously s*it hits the fan. Every Christmas is spend at DH’s parents house cause, well they have a house. Everyone else is ain a condo or smaller places. So now everyone is scrambeling around for christmas and they have cancelled the gift exchange (which DH’s parents LET BE SET UP even though they knew they wouldnt be here) I had purchased gifts already to, even though i wasnt going to be here, so now i have 50.00 worth of random gifts (grrrrr) ANYWAYS. The extended family is mad, they are upset that they are going right after they said they ouldnt afford to with the family, they are upset for Darling Husband and I and now everyone is all scattered around for xmas. DH’s parents are so angry with the “right right do they have scenario” This whole sitautoin just hurts me more BECAUSE if they just went next year, we could have and the family wouldnt not have been up in arms.
ANYYWAS the family is upset about the whole christmas thing and them no being here…so i asked Darling Husband, are they telling everyone right now that they wont be here for next year either? that would be the best thing to do…to ease the pain and surprise so we do not have to go through this next year. They have not (which to me reads…we arent going). Mother-In-Law at one point even said to me “they are all upset, but everything will be the same old next year” (in my head i was like oookkkkkaayyy). SIL even said something about mexico not happening next year…
**sorry its so long..its more a vent as my Darling Husband has heard more then enough about it and my family doesnt care!! *laugh**
Post # 36
Honestly, I get why you feel slighted and frustrated, but I think you need to let it go. It seems like this kind of behavior for them is normal. It’s too bad that this is your first Christmas experience with them but I would be happy to not go on vacation with these people! It sounds like you don’t even really enjoy their company that well, so why would you want to spend a week in Mexico with them? It seems like they just went about this thing in the wrong way altogether.
Just forget about it and enjoy the holidays with your family. And don’t worry about the extended family drama – it’s not your problem.
Post # 37
It sounds like the in-laws could be going through some sort of crazy mid-life gonna do what we want hng everyone else crisis. I’d claim it’s empty nest, but you say there’s still a daughter living with them.
I’m sorry they are being this way, and if it’s any cosolation, at least you know it’s not directed at you or your Darling Husband, as they seem to have screwed over the whole family this year by not notifying ANYONE of their upcoming trip, and they don’t seem to care it’s caused holiday turmoil for all.
Do your best to enjoy the holiday with your folks, get through this year and worry about next year as it comes. It’s kida like how my brother decided to deal with our deadbeat dad: “I’ll take what he offers me as it comes, but I won’t expect anything from him ever again.”
You’re from what sounds like a closer, more reliable family – your H is not. You can’t expect them to be reliable or keep their promises if that’s just not who they are. At least your H isn’t like them.
Post # 38
@Isilme: Thanks ladies….I honestly dont think i would have taken this as hard as i have if it wasnt my first Christmas as their daughter in law, and i am awful for just taking things personally. i know this will all be water under the bridge one day, and i am really looking forward to christmas with my new husband and my family. 🙂