(Closed) please, tell me someone here agrees with me…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree! I’ve been thinking about this myself and it would just really annoy me.

Post # 4
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it’s perfectly fine that you requested politely that you prefer she finds another outstanding gown.  Did she agree to that?  If she does show up in your colors, well, there isn’t much you can do about that.  Just don’t allow her to bother you.

 

Now with the other situation about her being buddy-buddy with you.  I have no idea what her family backround is like, and from your post, I’m not sure you know the ENTIRE backround either.  She may just need another female companion to feel close with.  Perhaps she and her mother had some sort of fall out that you are not aware of.

 

My SO is no way close to his family at all.  Not really even on talking terms and they all live in the same town.  I think it’s really great that my brothers and my sister have really accepted him and made him feel like apart of this family

 

The way I see it is, you can’t ever have too many friends Smile

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you get to dictate what your guests wear to the wedding.  But, she did ask for your opinion and you gave it.  I wouldn’t worry about it, if anything she should feel embarrassed for matching the bridesmaids.  At least she didn’t ask to wear white!

Post # 6
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Aside from the buddy buddy issue, I think it’s ok that you politely told her, but if she shows up in those colors, really, what are you going to do? I think you have to let that one go.

And the buddy buddy thing… you don’t know her entire family dynamic, you don’t know what life was like for her growing up, i’d just chill on making judgments on her. She might not be a great person, but I kind of lean towards the side that only God can judge us. Maybe she is really trying now to get to be close to you because she likes you!

Post # 7
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think I agree with your Maid/Matron of Honor.  It really is such a small thing, and I don’t think it’s rude.  I am not a fan of people wearing white, but I don’t think I would even notice if someone came in the wedding colors.  There is the mindset in some areas that you’re actually supposed to wear the colors. 

I think you’re biased because you dislike her, and I can’t fault you for that.  That’s human nature.  You’re allowed to be a annoyed by it if it’s how you feel, but I don’t think it’s worth rocking the boat to say anything.  If she’s high drama, it has huge potential to backfire.

 

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with both of you kind of….

On one hand, I don’t think it’s a big deal if any guest shows up wearing the same colour as the wedding party.

On the other, I kinda get the feeling that if she did, it would be totally on purpose, which is annoying.  Kinda like she’s trying to worm her way in, and make it look like she’s more included than she is.

Post # 9
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think there is anything wrong with guests matching your wedding colors, but that is just my opinion. Like Mermaid said, where I am from it is actually considered appropriate to wear the colors. If it bothers you, then I think you handled it really well how you told her.

Post # 10
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. She asked your opinion, you gave it, now I’d let it drop.

Post # 11
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

 I agree with the drop it part.  You have bigger things to worry about.  But if she does come in either of those colors, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.  (Unless she plans on wearing a fancy Bridesmaid or Best Man dress 😉

Post # 12
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Since she made a point to ask you if it would be appropriate, I think it is fine that you gave your opinion.  Also, since she left the decision up to you, I think it is fair for you to be able to say no.  Your response was polite and diplomatic, I don’t think it is a problem.

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