(Closed) Please tell me this is temporary!!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I’m sorry to hear that your Future Mother-In-Law is being difficult. Keep doing what you’re doing and make things how you and your fiance want them. I found that it has been easiest to make decisions and let my FMIL know what is going on by sending pictures and links to things we have picked. That way his family doesn’t feel like they are just showing up like every other guest at the wedding but it decreases the opportunity for them to add in various opinions that may frustrate or confuse you. The wedding world is filled with people you know and many that you don’t that would loveeeee to tell you how your day should be (the guy helping with our tux order said that choosing an ivory dress was a dumb decision, but he also said that he wanted a hat & pimp cane—everyone is different). Maybe use your fiance to discuss some of the more personal things like guest list. It will all work out πŸ™‚

P.S. We are almost at the 6 month mark πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Eeeek… that’s uncomfortable. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Is your Fiance aware that his mother is doing this to you and how it’s making you feel? If so, I’d say he needs to have a talk with her, a gentle “butt-out” talk, explaining that this day belongs to the two of you, and although you appreciate her suggestions when they are nicely given, that you two are paying for it and would appreciate a more supportive attitude. That would be my first step, before I really got angry, lol. Because I eventually would, lol! Either way, I hope it gets better for you. πŸ™

Post # 7
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

You’re not crazy! Family drama is always the hardest to deal with, because no matter how much they irritate you, you still try your best to get along. *hugs* Sorry you have to deal with this, and your Fiance is probably right, it’s probably new to his mom, and she’ll come around.

She’s going to have to come around, it’s your wedding, not hers!! Good luck

Post # 8
Member
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry maybe this is a little blunt, and you probably won’t do this.

but if FMIl and Future Sister-In-Law are being mean, I would tell them “you know what? It’s my wedding! I don’t really wanna share anything with you, because you aren’t making this enjoyable for me!” and that would be the end of it, and they would probably not hear anything about the wedding.
Also what’s up with the guest list?
Is Future Mother-In-Law paying for the extra guests or really anything for ther wedding?
If not, I would not invite them.

good luck!

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

geez… i would be up to a bottle a day if i was you!  seriously… repeat after me “im saving itas a surprise for the actual wedding day”

from now on, whenever the witch is on the phone nagging you for info that she has zero rights to demand, you will say “im saving that as a surprise for the wedding so you will see it on the wedding day”

you have to start standing up for yourself or this woman is going to walk over you forever… sending lots and lots of hugs because it sounds really stressful

 

Post # 10
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

They’re right, don’t let these two walk all over you–I would find a line like eloping suggested and stick with it!

By The Way Piggly Wiggly has some kick-ass cakes, I might be getting mine there, too! So don’t feel “cheap”–I’ve had some bad bakery cakes, so if it tastes good, go for it! I assume you’re going with a Pig up in Myrtle but the one in Mt. Pleasant, near Seaside Farms I believe, is one of the best places in Chs for a cake! And khaki linen suits are how my friends are going, and they look great! So don’t feel bad–your wedding will look wonderful and you need to just chill out and not tell them anything else! Get your guy to stand up for you more, too!

Post # 12
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law is the same way. She has no place to ask/demand the answers to the questions she asks of my and my Fiance. She makes it completely unbearable to discuss anything with her. She thinks we are making horrible choices when it comes to anything. Her favorite line is “well, thats different from when we were planing T’s wedding.” or even “thats different” (code for when the h?! are you doing) Hang in there and find your happy place. I def LOVE the idea of saying that you are saving it to be a surprise! πŸ˜‰

Post # 13
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I”m sorry you’re having such a rough time with your future in-laws.  It hard to maintain the balance of family peace (especially for Mr. S) and being too worn down by their criticisms and nosiness.

I think the best solution is to explain to Mr. S that what they’re doing and saying makes you feel ____(fill in the blank) and ask him to have a discussion with them about it.  they should respect him, and you because you are engaged to him!  Try to keep the peace, but be firm! 

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