(Closed) Please tell me whos right in this situation! Super irritated!!!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’m siding with your mother.  Yes, she put the money down, but ultimately it’s your dress.  If they try to “sell” it to you, just be firm that you don’t want it.

Post # 4
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What’s the big deal?  Someone needs to call and say you are no longer interested in the dress.  I don’t think any one is “supposed” to make the call, but I don’t it’s a big deal to do it yourself. 

Post # 5
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think it matters whose job it is. Somebody has to call that store. Just call them and say “hi, we’re unable to afford the dress we put a hold on. thanks, bye”. Click.

Do you work? Could you put in some extra hours to pay for the rest of the dress if it’s what you really wanted? If your mom can’t afford the dress, she can’t afford it. It’s easy to get sucked into buying something in the first place, but why can’t you help out too?

Post # 6
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I understand b/c I hate making calls like that, but I really don’t think it’s going to be a big deal.  Just call, say your mom put on a hold on a dress, but unfortunately your family decided it wasn’t in the budget.  Done!

Post # 7
114 posts
Blushing bee

don’t be afraid to call them- it’s not worth fighting over with your mom, but they have ppl cancel all the time! just call and say you found something else! you don’t even have to mention the $ being the issue!

Post # 8
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t see what the problem is here. Just make the call. If you call and you say you can’t afford it, chances are, they won’t pressure you to buy it. If they do, just say, “Sorry, it was way out of our budget, and we just can’t.” It will probably be a two-minute call.

There are going to be a lot of problems that are much more complicated than this during wedding planning. I’m not at all trying to be mean, I’m just saying that you’ll be making a LOT of phone calls during this process, so it’s best to get used to dealing with vendors now 🙂

Post # 10
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Agree with the other ladies. Just do it. Be firm. I hate making phone calls like that, so I understand, but it has to be done. It is so not worth fighting with your family over.

If you’re a big enough girl to get married, you’re a big enough girl to make a phone call and deal with things on your own.

Post # 11
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I really wouldn’t worry about who’s job it is to give the call.  Or who’s right or wrong.  I’d just call them and tell them you can’t pay for the remainder.  They can’t force you to buy the dress.  You won’t get suckered into buying anything.  It’ll just go on the floor and someone else will buy it. 

Post # 12
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am so nervous to make calls liek that. Can you ask Fiance to call? I know it’s wrong but with any confrontational things for the wedding, I ask for his help.

I bet you will lose your $50 but if you didn’t give them anymore money there is no way they can get any money from you. Before you order a dress they require a deposit just in case you back out they got something. If you haven’t already placed a deposit I’m sure it’ll be a 2 sec phone call.

Post # 13
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If it were me, I’d try to email, but I’m a wimp like that.

Post # 15
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m in agreement here with the others, just make the call.  Don’t argue who’s job it is.  It’s clear your mom won’t and it’s really not a big deal.  If the store tries to pressure you push you into buying the dress, all you have to say is “thanks, but I can’t” and if you have to hang up.  You aren’t obligated to buy the dress….unless you signed a contract or something.  I guess the “worse” thing that can happen is your mom will lose her $50 deposit.  If you mom asks for the deposit back then that will be the time to explain to her since she thought she could pay for the dress and then backed out then she lost the deposit. 

I would just do it and get it over with. 

Post # 16
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

First let me say that I totally understand where you’re coming from. Mom should have never put you in that situation in the first place since you obviously already knew that they wouldn’t purchase a gown at this store. It was her idea for you to go ahead and do so and it was her who said you would get that dress and it was her who put down the deposit. So I def get your point…


Someone has to be the bigger person here. And why not have it be you? Wedding planning is stressful enough without petty arguments. I would just call and say quite simply. “I’m sorry but my parents have decided that they will not be able to afford this gown.” They are probably going to try bargaining with you. But just hold your ground. These phone calls are never easy but just remain firm.

Side note: I hope your mother doesn’t expect to get that $50 back because they probably are not gonna up it.

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