Post # 1
Ok so about a month ago me, my mom and my sister went wedding dress shopping. The stores prices were a little higher then what my parents wanted to go. I told my mom I wont try on any dresses due to the prices and thats ok. She convinced me to try on some anyway and we will go from there. Well I tried on a particular dress and absolutely fell in love with it! So did my mom and my sister. Its was $1000 and my mom said that its fine and we will go ahead and buy it. I was ecstatic! She put $50 down right then just to hold the dress at the store and told them she would pay for the rest later. I could not believe I was getting the dress of my dreams! About a week later my father called me and told me that we will not be getting that dress and I will have to go shopping at a cheaper place (one that was referred to them by a friend) and find a new dress. Needless to say I was sad but was okay with it. Another week later we went to another store which didnt carry my size 14/16. The highest they carried was a 12. I found a dress I sqeezed myself into and really like. We got a deal for sure and at $345 I have my dress and vail.
Now for the problem, My mom is telling me its my job now to call the other store and tell them I dont want the other dress. Im so afraid im going to get sucked into buying a $1000 dress. I feel as though this is her job since in the first place she was the one who agreed to buy it. I cannot affored to buy a $1000 Im not even going to wear! Shes telling me im acting childish. What?!?!?! Im 21 years old and AGREED in the first place not to even START trying on the expensive dresses! I feel as though im getting screwed over in every way here! HELP!
Post # 3
I’m siding with your mother. Yes, she put the money down, but ultimately it’s your dress. If they try to “sell” it to you, just be firm that you don’t want it.
Post # 4
What’s the big deal? Someone needs to call and say you are no longer interested in the dress. I don’t think any one is “supposed” to make the call, but I don’t it’s a big deal to do it yourself.
Post # 5
I don’t think it matters whose job it is. Somebody has to call that store. Just call them and say “hi, we’re unable to afford the dress we put a hold on. thanks, bye”. Click.
Do you work? Could you put in some extra hours to pay for the rest of the dress if it’s what you really wanted? If your mom can’t afford the dress, she can’t afford it. It’s easy to get sucked into buying something in the first place, but why can’t you help out too?
Post # 6
I understand b/c I hate making calls like that, but I really don’t think it’s going to be a big deal. Just call, say your mom put on a hold on a dress, but unfortunately your family decided it wasn’t in the budget. Done!
Post # 7
don’t be afraid to call them- it’s not worth fighting over with your mom, but they have ppl cancel all the time! just call and say you found something else! you don’t even have to mention the $ being the issue!
Post # 8
I don’t see what the problem is here. Just make the call. If you call and you say you can’t afford it, chances are, they won’t pressure you to buy it. If they do, just say, “Sorry, it was way out of our budget, and we just can’t.” It will probably be a two-minute call.
There are going to be a lot of problems that are much more complicated than this during wedding planning. I’m not at all trying to be mean, I’m just saying that you’ll be making a LOT of phone calls during this process, so it’s best to get used to dealing with vendors now 🙂
Post # 9
I am helping out. Im buying my new dress. But there is no way i could affored a $1000 dress. I’m a full time student and mother to a 1 year old so money is tight.
Post # 10
Agree with the other ladies. Just do it. Be firm. I hate making phone calls like that, so I understand, but it has to be done. It is so not worth fighting with your family over.
If you’re a big enough girl to get married, you’re a big enough girl to make a phone call and deal with things on your own.
Post # 11
Yeah, I really wouldn’t worry about who’s job it is to give the call. Or who’s right or wrong. I’d just call them and tell them you can’t pay for the remainder. They can’t force you to buy the dress. You won’t get suckered into buying anything. It’ll just go on the floor and someone else will buy it.
Post # 12
I am so nervous to make calls liek that. Can you ask Fiance to call? I know it’s wrong but with any confrontational things for the wedding, I ask for his help.
I bet you will lose your $50 but if you didn’t give them anymore money there is no way they can get any money from you. Before you order a dress they require a deposit just in case you back out they got something. If you haven’t already placed a deposit I’m sure it’ll be a 2 sec phone call.
Post # 13
If it were me, I’d try to email, but I’m a wimp like that.
Post # 14
Thanks guys for the imput. If I were the one to agree to buy the dress, sign the contract and say “I” will buy this dress then I would take full responsibility for it. Its not that I wouldnt make the call. I guess there is a little irritation in me going off cause in the first place I didnt want to buy a dress their due to the prices. Then she tells me to go ahead and I find the dress of my dreams. Then I get told “forget it”. I guess it just all feels wrong. Im a big girl. Im marrying a wonderful God loving man who is the best father and person I could ever ask for. Im just a little hurt over this situation……
Post # 15
I’m in agreement here with the others, just make the call. Don’t argue who’s job it is. It’s clear your mom won’t and it’s really not a big deal. If the store tries to pressure you push you into buying the dress, all you have to say is “thanks, but I can’t” and if you have to hang up. You aren’t obligated to buy the dress….unless you signed a contract or something. I guess the “worse” thing that can happen is your mom will lose her $50 deposit. If you mom asks for the deposit back then that will be the time to explain to her since she thought she could pay for the dress and then backed out then she lost the deposit.
I would just do it and get it over with.
Post # 16
First let me say that I totally understand where you’re coming from. Mom should have never put you in that situation in the first place since you obviously already knew that they wouldn’t purchase a gown at this store. It was her idea for you to go ahead and do so and it was her who said you would get that dress and it was her who put down the deposit. So I def get your point…
Someone has to be the bigger person here. And why not have it be you? Wedding planning is stressful enough without petty arguments. I would just call and say quite simply. “I’m sorry but my parents have decided that they will not be able to afford this gown.” They are probably going to try bargaining with you. But just hold your ground. These phone calls are never easy but just remain firm.
Side note: I hope your mother doesn’t expect to get that $50 back because they probably are not gonna up it.