(Closed) Please tell me you guys have done this at some point.

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think sending him styles you like only a few times in a span of too years is too much pressure… and it does sound like your SO is warming up to weddings all by himself! 

I think it is very common for girls to show their SO ring styles they like.

Post # 4
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I dont think its that big of a deal. I didnt do this with my e-ring (I didnt even know he was planning to propose – I thought we were going to be waiting another 2 years to even get engaged) but I do this with jewelry all the time because he has bought me several pairs of earrings I dont like. So now I’ll just send him stuff to give him ideas. I dont see it any differently! Its a piece of jewelry youre going to wear for the rest of your life so you should really love it!

Post # 5
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Oh don’t listen to the comments on that article! People can be horrible and tear people down without good reason.

Yes, there are some guys who have very little to zero tolerance when it comes to mentioning the future and weddings etc etc. These guys are just holding on tighter to their immaturity and childhood IMO. If the girl wasn’t actually nagging and just showed him some pretties that she liked, he’s just crabby because it was painful for him to let go.These are the guys that are kicking and screaming through the whole process. I hope that makes sense.

Any guy who looks forward to growth and positive change and whatnot isn’t going to feel pressured from just a few pictures of rings and the occasional talk. These guys have a much higher tolerance for moderate discussion of the future.

My guy and I talk about rings a lot. Always have. He enjoys gemstones and looks forward to getting me a ring. I’ve asked him about a ton of rings. Originally he didn’t like halos. We went to the mall ring store and I showed him one on my finger and now he loves them.

Really, I see no harm in what you’ve done.

Post # 6
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I sent my Fiance a couple pictures over the last couple of years. I knew he’d want to know what I liked… even still, when he actually went to get the ring he brought home a fake sample ring of the one he picked in case I wanted to change it. Of course he picked an awesome ring and we just had to go back to order the real deal.

Post # 7
14 posts

Wow, I read the original article you linked and I can’t believe how rude and biased the journalist was!  It’s no wonder so many people left negative comments, the writing painted Jennifer as a bridezilla in waiting that no one wants to marry.  Terrible.

I think it’s perfectly normal to send a guy links to rings you like.  Every single guy I’ve ever dated would have appreciated the links, because they would have been flattered that I was thinking about marrying them. It’s sweet, not demanding.  Furthermore, I think girls have every right to choose their own ring, and at the least make suggestions.  It’s good to be assertive.  Being assertive isn’t being demanding or domineering – being assertive is just telling people who you are.

OP  – that article and it’s comments made me mad too!

Post # 8
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I see no problem with it. And none with her sending him rings. My cousin met, got engaged and married his wife within 10 months…so it’s not just women. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
206 posts
Helper bee

I think your story is one thing it’s been 4.5 years and you’re not airing something personal on national television. I’ve done it too!

That said, Jennifer Love Hewitt DOES sound crazy in that article. If she was dating my son and had rings picked out after a few months and was discussing it publicly I’d tell him to run the other way.

Post # 10
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’ve never been brave enough to actually send the pics of rings I like.  I’ve got them all set up in a private online wishlist, ready to go… but he made a coment once that he thought it was tacky to take the woman ring shopping since it made it more about the ring and not his surprise.  I’d really like to share my little (ok, not so little: it’s got like 16 varaieties in it to show examples from many price ranges/stones/styles) list, but worry it’d seem pushy.

He’s been more receptive of sharing idea about future wedding prefernces (never used to mention them at all) since almost all of our friends are engaged and about to be married, and I’m doing my best not to be the mopey Waiting Bee I was this last fall when I got slammed in the face with ALL the engagements/weddings (like 8 at once).  I’ve been doing my best to vent all my anxiety about it here, and to try to follow Mr. Bee’s advice and only mention weddings if the plans of one of our friends getting married comes up. 

I worry that sending an email with a “hey – if you’d like to know things I like and stay away from the impossible for us prices from huge jewelry chains – here are some ideas. – If you like them, cool, if not I don’t need to know until you decide to let me know” wouldn’t come out right and would be seen as demanding.  Articles like the one the OP mentioned don’t help – women are already painted with a broad brush as being money grubbing wenches only after a ring.  πŸ™

Post # 12
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you’re fine. πŸ™‚ Four years and four months aren’t exactly comparable. You wouldn’t say a four year old child is like a four month old, right? πŸ™‚ And I think you are sending suggestions – she has three rings picked out, from a specific store, and made some comment about only being really happy if he uses one of those?

The article does make her sound a bit nutty and it does sound like only a Tiffany’s ring will do. I guess it’s different when you’re famous. Lol.

Post # 13
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i sent my Fiance a picture of a couple rings i liked in late 2009. he proposed about a year later. i would say, let him know if your tastes have changed, but don’t keep emailing him the same thing every year.

thats my 2 cents.

Post # 14
3305 posts
Sugar bee

I have sent my SO pics of the ring and we have even went ring window shopping. I don’t see that to be weird at all. Giving hints might get the ball rolling.

Post # 15
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I showed my Fiance some pics of rings I liked over time.  He didn’t seem to mind and we ended up picking my ring together anyway.  But, some guys are more sensitive to the ring/engagement talk than others. 

I wouldn’t worry about those people posting on the website post.  It’s your ring that you’ll have to wear for the rest of your life.  You should pick out some styles you like! 

Post # 16
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i didnt send hubby any pics but i did stand him outside a store window and pointed and said “that one” on more than one occasion πŸ™‚


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