(Closed) Pledge to Serve?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve never seen that before, but if I did, I would be shocked. I am not for traditional gender roles at all. I actually told SO that I will not be saying I will obey him in our vows.

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I know that one variant of the christian wedding ceremony includes a washing of the feet, but I think it’s for both the the bride and the groom as a pledge to care for one another.

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve seen this, but only once, and it was actually not a christian wedding.  Historically, the washing of the feet was a gesture of goodwill from host to guest, as a guest, weary from traveling, would likely have been on their feet for quite some time, and their feet would have been dirty and dusty.  It’s meant to convey caring, nurturing and hospitality, although the biblical tale of jesus washing his disciples’ feet has definitely given the gesture some very strong christian connotations.

Personally, it’s not my cup of tea, but neither is the sand ceremony, unity candle, etc etc.  I think whether or not it has a place at a wedding depends entirely on the couple getting married,  but would hope that, if done, there is some historical context given, and that both bride and groom wash each other’s feet, as it does put the foot-washer in a bit of a subservient role to the washee.

Post # 7
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…hey, whatever does it for ya!

Post # 8
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

When ever I have seen this done, it has been a Christian wedding and is in reference to Christ at the last supper washing his disciples feet. The purpose was to show that even Christ himself, their great teacher and leader was not above serving them and doing what was a slaves job in the time. The point isn’t some anti-feminist subjugation, I’ve never seen it where the groom and bride don’t do it, the point is that the couple loves each other enough to be BOTH willing to put their own vainty aside and help and serve each other. I do agree that if you don’t have an entire crowd of church people who will get the reasoning there needs to be some explination because it is a rather bizarre sort of ceremony out of context. 

Post # 9
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I haven’t seen it done at a wedding but I’ve seen plently of foot washings… I was raised Pentecostal Holiness (the speaking in tongues, running around the building screaming hands waving in the air, fallin out at the altar type of christianity) & it was common practice. I’ve both had my feet washed & done the washing- it’s not every service but particular holidays & important events (Passover, Easter). From what I remember it goes back to the Bible story when Jesus takes turns to wash each of his disciples feet. It shows humility, service, and caring- that you’re willing & aren’t so full of yourself to help others out with the most menial of tasks- which would generally be assigned to a slave…. Would I want it at my wedding– No way- but I haven’t been Christian since I moved out & was no longer forced to attend church 2-3 times a week… 

Post # 11
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, it’s definitely supposed to be reciprocal.

There’s a beautiful hymn that I’ve heard used at a lot of (Catholic) weddings I’ve attended, that gets at the same idea (even though I’ve never seen it paired with an actual foot-washing). The lyrics:

Will you let me be your servant,

Let me be as Christ to you?

Pray that I might have the grace to

Let you be my servant, too.

(The rest of the verses continue in the same vein – there is an emphasis on “we’re both in this together,” sharing everything that lies ahead.)

Post # 12
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012


Here is a groom washing the bride’s feet.


Obviously her face emits sweetness over his guesture, but the whole sentiment is creepydeepy to me.

Post # 14
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just got my first pedicure at age 31, because I’m not a fan of people touching my feet.  And that’s a lot better than touching someone else’s feet.  So yeah, not for me. 

Post # 15
60 posts
Worker bee

I saw it done at a vow renewal and thought it was a beautiful symbolic gesture of their forgiveness of infidelity. As a strong Christian I had to choak back tears due to the overwhelming emotions that overcome me as I saw this modern representation of the love of Christ. I agree with everyone else that it was both the bride and groom washing one another’s feet. 

Post # 16
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I haven’t seen anything like that done, but considering the family I come from, it isn’t surprising.  My mother told the minister who married them that if the word “obey” was said at any time during her vows, that she would walk right back down the aisle, and most of the women in my family share a similar sentiment.  I am also taking the word “obey” out of my vows.  I feel like Fiance and I are equals, and should reach decisions together rather than him telling me what to do.  I don’t take orders well.  🙂

As for this particular ritual, I don’t think I’d want to touch my FI’s feet, nor would he want to bare his feet during our wedding.  He doesn’t like going barefoot around people very much because his feet are… well, kinda gross.

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