- 5 years ago
I’m new to these boards but have been a long time viewer of topics and replies. I will keep this as brief as I can. I’m in a bad place and really need some outside support:(
My boyfriend and I are 12 years apart in age, we will have been together only two years in June of 2014 but have lived together after just months of dating.
Things have been great between us. This is the first relationship I’ve been in where there is equal amounts of give and take. He is hard working, loyal, respectful, smart and to top it all off my family adores him. Everything SEEMED great. He recently acquired a new job working as IT for the city, great pay and benefits – passed the drug test no problem (drugs are a non-issue) but after 2 weeks of working there, he finds out he has to take yet another test. He has to be finger printed to check for criminal record (working closely with legal/law enforcement computers). One would think this would be something they check BEFORE they hire someone. He failed this test.
I know of two misdemeanors he has from years back, long before I knew him. But a few days after being finger printed for the city, two officers show up at our place looking for him. Or neighbors called and told us as we were both out of the house. My boyfriend immediately called the station, turned himself in, met an officer at the jail, has been very cooperative. We find out that there is a warrant out for his arrest! A warrant that was issued in March of 2011! He moved back to his home state in December of 2010, then moved back here in 2012. He is being charged with felony theft!!!
Looooong story short: When he first lived here, he and his roommate worked together at Best Buy. His roommate began stealing things like laptops, game consoles – the real deal. My boyfriend knew about it but didn’t report it, and when they asked him to check his roommate at the end of the shift for merchandise, my boyfriend said he was clean as a whistle. My boyfriend HELPED this guy steal at least 2k (maybe more) from this huge cooperation. I was completely blindsided by all of this. I’m in shock. He is in a lot of trouble – REAL trouble.
He lost his job with the city because of the current charges, so now he is jobless – and we are just waiting for him to speak with a public defender and go to court for a sentencing. He could get probation, hefty fines and house arrest, or he could actually do time. He says when the police first started investigating his roommate he was very helpful and cooperative, but WHAT THE HELL?! He just up and moves, did he think that this would all just go away and be forgotten? I have lost my appetite, sleep – I just feel depressed and weak now.
Basically I don’t know what to do and am looking for any advice I can get. Maybe someone has had a similar situation? I don’t know if this warrants splitting or not. I LOVE this man. He isn’t some hardened criminal, but apparently he is an IDIOT! He is also my best friend and companion.
Part of me feels that if he went to jail for 30 days to a year I would wait around for him, but then he would have a felony on his record, would he be able to find work, could I be with this type of man forever? And the other part of me feels like this is just really drawing the line and that there’s no real trust anymore. What else do I not know about, what else does he claim not to know? He wont talk about the current situation and I just keep planning for the worst (hope for the best type of thing). My father died suddenly in May of this year and I feel like the only other man I love is being taken away as well 🙁 🙁
Please, any advice would be great. My family and friends don’t even know – he’s begged me not to say anything yet. I really just have to get this off my chest.