- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Literally at the end of my rope here and I really, really need perspective. I need help.
Awhile back, after much thought, Fiance and I decided to marry in Nov in a US city. We do not live there…we live in another state. We were very excited. We thought to invite around 40 guests. Then things got hard. Really hard. Impossible. I kid you not…we ran into all kinds of roadblocks in this small town…everything from not 1 florist being able to fully provide information to rude chair rental places to the office where you do park rental never calling us back, despite the many messages. Not once. But we pressed on. At this point I figured every bride goes through some hoops. A week ago Friday, big news came to us…the weekend before we were to marry (but while Fiance and I would be there, b/c we were to get license, final details, etc) there will be a marathon. I still didn’t think anything of it until we found out we would be totally unable to book ANY hotel blocks. Not one hotel block. This meant our guests were on their own. Then the prices…DOUBLED. Until that Sun…the day before we married. This just seemed like the final straw. I was heart broken. I cried. Hard. Picked myself back up and decided that maybe this was another chance to just make things easy. After a few days, we decided we would go away to somewhere tropical and get married…just us 2.
This has proved no better. We thought Mexico…hotel and flight prices are great but we have to be there 4 biz days to get legally married. That eats up most of our time there, leaving at most 3 days for an actual Honeymoon. We looked at other tropical places…flights are either non-existent (really…we live in a major city and not 1 to Antigua during the 3 month span we looked at. Even the agent was shocked. lol) or super expensive (Jamaica).. as in most of our budget would be eaten due to air alone, leaving either a crappy hotel or just a 4 day stay or something really short. Our agent couldn’t believe the prices herself. Further, most of the hotel coordinators we reach out take days to respond and that’s fine but it’s making planning hard when I don’t know what days are open to marry, so we can’t book a place if we see it on sale or a great price…it’s happened 2x already. One place took a full week. Another hasn’t answered at all.
So, we played with the idea of just getting married here with Justice of the Peace & take a great HM but I already have my dress. And it’s not ultra fancy but it’s not Justice of the Peace either. It’s really, really pretty. And I want to wear it…but not in an office somewhere. I really considered just getting a short, cute one but I got really sad thinking about that. I told myself I could compromise, but not there. I want to wear it and it’s paid for.
So I told Fiance we could just have like a 3 day true Honeymoon (total 7/8 days in Mexico) and get married there. He’s fine with that but isn’t totally hooked on the 2-3 real Honeymoon either.
Honestly, I feel like none of this wedding is meant to be other than us…but I don’t know if that’s just b/c I’m stressed. Like I feel we are meant to be married and I’m soooooo happy about that….but I have yet to have a wedding option fully work out. My e-ring experience went fine. Finding my dress was a piece of cake. But since then….it’s been crap.
So, I need advice. Perspective. Something. Since I was a girl I dreamed of a Honeymoon that was at least 5 days long. True Honeymoon…AFTER we are married. Fiance and I both heavily care about Honeymoon. Neither of us wanted a big wedding…ever. We always wanted something small and pretty simple…just us is ok. But I want at least…something. Some wedding experience.
So where do we compromise? On our HM? Am I missing something?
Here are the facts:
– It will be just us 2
– I don’t want to marry with Justice of the Peace
– Want to wear my dress (see pic)
– I want a real ceremony…not a symbolic one
– We are willing to choose another month (Jul – Nov)
– Have to be there 4 full biz days
– Don’t care about cake, flowers, etc…I don’t think we will even be able to afford pics at this point, so we will just have our really nice camera and ask someone to take a few pics.
– Mexico has the best prices for us, based on departure city so this is our first pick.
– We have about 3k max to spend on travel, Honeymoon, wedding (hoping to get it free). We have other money but that is reserved for our after party, his outfit, my shoes/accessories, hair/make-up, luggage we will need, etc)
Thanks to anyone reading this and taking the time to respond. No one else seems to understand the pressure except Fiance. He’s trying his best to help. He’s been great actually. 🙂 But please…if you don’t have anything supportive to say, please don’t. I really can’t take it right now. This is not the experience I have waited for and I’m trying really hard to take all of this in. I know ultimately it will all work out but today…I’m having a rough time. Thanks.