(Closed) Pls help, need to see a therapist–should I tell my husband ?

posted 5 years ago in Wellness
  • poll: What should I tell my husband?
    just say seeing therapist for anxiety in general : (12 votes)
    30 %
    tell him exact reasons (everything) : (25 votes)
    63 %
    give him hint but don't go into detail : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @temporary:  I think you need to be honest with your husband. He needs to understand how his problems are affecting you as well. Also, maybe this will prod him into getting help or maybe he will come with you. I haven’t read your other posts, so I don’t know why he has not gotten treated…

    Post # 4
    Member
    8453 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @temporary:  I think you should tell him why you are going to see a therapist, but without putting the blame on him (not the easiest thing to do).  It’s always best to keep things honest and open with each other.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @temporary:  Got it. I think you have to ask if he is going to go through with it and if not, why? You guys have to communicate with each other. I know it is hard, especially about a subject like this, but truly, if you want to have a healthy marriage you have to be honest and open with each other. I am sorry you are going through this. 🙁

    Post # 8
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Definitely be honest with him. The converstation may be difficult to start, so it is probably easiest to just come right out and say it. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sharing stuff like this with each other is kind of the point of being married. If you have to hide your emotional state and the impact of his behaviour on you, then why even be married? It just adds to the walls between you and weakens your marriage. Ask yourself – if your positions were reversed, and he didn’t tell you something like this, how would you feel? 

    He may be shocked when you tell him. That’s OK, it won’t kill him. It sounds like he kind of needs to be shocked out of taking you and your marriage for granted, honestly, from your previous posts. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I disagree with some of the other bees posts- I would tell him you’re going, but maybe not be fully forthright about why.  When you feel comfortable enough to tell him the reasons (and when you’ve explored them a little bit more) you can talk to him.

    Post # 13
    Member
    8453 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @temporary:  Does he not know about the anxiety at all?  Since it sounds like you’re both having issues in the marriage, I would just explain it to him that you want to work on these things as a team.  By going to a therapist, you’ll gain the skills/knowledge to deal with your anxiety as well as his issues.  I think that asking him for a recommendation is a great way to involve him in selecting your therapist.  Just be careful not to get into the “I’m having anxiety/needing to see a therapist because of your ED/lack of effort.”  ED is something that is very embarassing for most guys, so getting the courage to see a doctor and admit there is a problem takes a lot.  I know it’s hard not to hold resentment about this, and you’re totally human for feeling that way, but it will hurt the progress of your relationship if you let it overrun your conversations.  Best of luck with everything, and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.  *HUGS*

    Post # 14
    Member
    1213 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Seeking therapy is a noble thing for you to do.  That being said, I don’t believe you absolutely need to divulge to your Darling Husband everything in detail.  Right now, this concerns you and only you for your anxiety issues.  It’s up to you if and when you want to include Darling Husband in your therapy sessions or share with him your concerns.  For now you may want to try to sort yourself out first before getting him involved.  Good luck to you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @temporary:  In my opinion you should always tell your husband about things that are affecting you emotionally, mentally, physically or otherwise. Always.

    The topic ‘Pls help, need to see a therapist–should I tell my husband ?’ is closed to new replies.

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