Post # 1
Question about “plus ones”:
I know the issue regarding what to do about +1’s has been discussed at length here. My predicament is a little different. My Fiance and I already know that many of our guests, including family, won’t be given guests spots. Our families are just too large and our friends are too single. 🙂 That being said, my mother suggested that I write a little note to be included in each guest’s invite who will not be getting a +1. The handwritten note will (very nicely) explain that, while we’re sorry the seating doesn’t allow for extra guests, we very much hope that they are able to attend, etc.
Is this in poor taste? Our invitations have inner envelopes which clearly list the invitees, so it’s not like we are being vague on who is invited. My mother is concerned that some may still not “get it” and will put down extra people. She also thinks that such an apologetic note would be considerate to guests without plus 1’s. (Also, the invitations are already being printed, so there’s no going back to include something like, “x number of seats are reserved”, etc.)
Your thoughts are very appreciated!
Post # 3
I don’t think that’s necessary. Most people will understand from the invitation/RSVP card. If someone writes in an extra person then you just give them a phone call and gently explain that they cannot bring a guest.
I would be a little weirded out if there was a note in the invite telling me that I couldn’t bring a guest!!
Post # 4
Emily Post etiquette would probably say that the invitations alone should be enough to make it clear to your guests. I would say that most people these days have no clue who Emily Post is. So….I say that the note your mom suggested does sound considerate and apologetic and I don’t see anything wrong with including it.
Post # 5
I agree with Tiny Tina…its not necessary…they will get the hint when its just addressed to them…you can deal with the unruly RSVPs that occur later! i would also be a little weirded out by a note…
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s necessary either. It just brings way too much attention to the point and it could be seen as insulting in that some guests may feel that you aren’t trusting them to get it.
Post # 7
@blg529: This exactly.
By adding that card you are drawing attention to the fact that you are not allowing them to bring dates. Just hope they will understand that only those listed on the invite are invited. If people try to add additional guests you’ll just have to make phone calls after the fact.
Post # 8
I saw a very creative/tactful way of making the amount of guests clear somewhere on the web…
It said that on the response card, put a phrase like, “2 spots have been reserved in your name” (or in your case, 1 obviously). That way they know who exactly is invited.
I thought it also great for large families with multiple kids … If a couple has, like, 8 kids and the # on the card only says “2 reserved spots”, clearly the invite is just for the couple.