(Closed) Plus 2? You're kidding, right?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never heard of this and it strijes me as strange and rude, but I agree with your deciding it’s not worth the fight.  If only you hadn’t told her she oculd do whatever she wanted with her third!  One thing I’m really learning from wedding planning is it’s better to put more restraints on people from the beginning and then relax them as necessary, instead of vice versa!

Post # 4
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think that is rediculous, a date maybe but a date and a friend-no. They will know all of their family members there, they can’t possibly visit with them?

Post # 5
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Weird. But I agree that, if they’re staying in their third, let it go. But yes, it’s weird.

Post # 6
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nope I’d go back to her and say “I gave you the latitude to choose the +1 within reason, such as whether each guests gets or doesn’t get a +1.  A +2 is not a standard wedding invitation thus I did not think I needed to specify against it, but **FI and I** have decided this is not appropriate.  If you like to tell me who you’d like those 3 people be instead, either family members, children of family members, or dates of family members, we will try to accommodate you.  Otherwise, we will make that decision.”  You should have Fiance say this though.

Post # 7
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

if they are the bridal party’s dates you should talk to the bridal party and say you really aprciate just them bringing a date and not 2 people each

Post # 8
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Um, it’s not their wedding to be ‘comfortable’. 

Post # 9
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can see the frustration, but you did give her a third to play with, and if it wasn’t them, it could have been ANOTHER 6 people you didn’t know (coworkers, distant relatives, etc.) And since theyre your FMIL’s children, doesnt them make them part of your new family too? I know my FI’s bros are bringing their dates & some friends, and Im excited to hang out with them and to have more young blood at the wedding so maybe SOMEONE will dance.

Post # 10
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that it’s totally weird that they each have to have 2 people to “entertain” them for the reception. They’re siblings! They must be able to talk to each other!!

However, I think it’s good that you didn’t make a big thing out of it.

Post # 11
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s so annoying. Especially since you’re not able to invite friends you actually want at your wedding because it’s not in your 3rd. Future Mother-In-Law should have given you the 3 extra spots to use if she didn’t need them!

Post # 12
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Especially since they’re in the wedding party, I think it’s quite rude, and potentially awkward– who are these “friends” supposed to hang out with??? All the siblings will be busy! I would ask Fiance to talk to his siblings and explain why you’re not comfortable with it– it might be “her 3rd of the list” but it’s still YOUR wedding! 

Post # 13
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wonder why the friend would want to come anyway.  And why would your Future In Laws want to use up invites on these people.  Careful they dont try to go over their number!

Post # 14
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@workerbee734:  It’s your wedding.  Why would you feel the need to cut friends off your guest list that YOU want to invite to reach your alloted number?  Why not invite who you want to your wedding? 

Post # 15
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@workerbee734:  What other 2 people will be sitting with them at the table?

Post # 16
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since these are FI’s siblings, he should say something to them. Ridiculous!!

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