Plus one advice!

posted 10 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say no. They are coming together as a social group so it is not like they wont know anyone else at the wedding.

Though here colleagues are usually just invited to the evening do. Day colleagues will be the sort you know well enough to know their partner too.

Post # 3
Member
11463 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The above advice is incorrect. Anyone engaged, married, or living together automatically is invited as a social unit. Any mature, long term committed couple that functions as a social unit should be as well.

You do not need to otherwise invite people with dates however. 

Post # 4
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

 I’m wondering if Twizbe is also a UK bee and weddingmaven is not?

As a UK bee the advise from Twizbe is more like what I’m used to seeing. I’ve been invited to a couple of weddings of my fiancé’s coworkers, but there’s also been a few that I haven’t been invited to – they have limited numbers available and would rather double the co-workers since that’s the people they actually know and therefore want to celebrate with. I’ve never taken offence at this but we’ve also never been invited as all-day guests for these weddings either. If he was invited for ceremony/wedding breakfast and evening reception and I lost him for the whole day rather than just an evening then I might have been a little annoyed. 

Post # 5
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yep I am UK. Things are a lot more flexible here in this regard.

Post # 7
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m a US bee and I invited my coworker’s husbands/wives even though that meant I couldn’t invite as many coworkers (I just budgeted for one table worth of coworkers).

I’ve never met some of their spouses but I left it in their hands whether their spouses wanted to come to the wedding of a girl they’ve never met. They all chose to come and it was nice to meet them.

Post # 8
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I’m from the US, so I do believe that if you are married, engaged, or living together, the couple is invited as a social unit. It does not count as a plus one, the invite is addressed to both of them. I’d also always invite a long-term committed partner, although I know that’s not a rule for everyone.

If it’s more relaxed in Australia, you may be able to get away with only inviting the partners you know, or not inviting any of the partners. But only you know your coworkers, and will have the best idea if they would be offended or not.

Post # 9
Member
11463 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Debrett’s and the BBC etiquette advisors say spouses and fiancés should be invited to both day or night receptions in the UK. The famous “no ring, no bring” policy followed by Pippa. SO’s are normally invited to any evening function. 

Post # 10
Member
5967 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just not invite co-workers if you’re on a strict budget. Trying to choose if their relationship (with their partner) is valid enough to receive an invite or not is rude. 

Post # 11
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

The trouble with the BBC etiquette rules is the same problem with all of these types of things – it’s very much dependant on the area and people. The UK may seem so much smaller but there’s still huge differences between areas and classes. Technically etiquette might say one thing, but if no one’s bothered, who cares? Do what works for you and those involved. 

On the question of whether 4-11 would bother me time wise, probably not. When I say all day affairs, I’m talking ceremony at 9 or 11 in the morning and the reception going on until past 1am. 

Post # 12
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely don’t invite some partners and not others, but invite partners by name rather than +1 so that people that aren’t in relationships don’t bring random dates. 

Post # 14
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

We extended plus ones to anyone married or in a relationship. We also extended plus ones to any of our friends that were not part of a larger social group. For instance, all of my girlfriends are married except one, though my single friend knows all of my other friends, I gave her a plus one because I don’t think being the only person without a partner in a group of 9 would be any fun. My fiance invited a group of single guys from work. They are all friends and are all single so we did not extend plus ones.  I’m in the US if that matters

Post # 15
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

The best rule I’ve heard is across the board: all invited guests with LONG TERM partners, or anyone married, get a plus one. No long term partner, no plus one. 

The exception would be if the person doesn’t know other people at the wedding, in which case they get a plus one so they don’t feel lonely. But if you’re confident the coworkers will come and there’s a group of them, no problem. (Still invite the spouses and long term partners though. It’s polite.)

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