(Closed) plus one – but not your kid! what do you think?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d say +1 her to be nice, but if she RSVPs with the daugher, just politely call to explain that while you’d love to see Daughter another time, the wedding is an adult NYE affair and you’re afraid that you can’t accomodate children as guests. If she brings up the other kids, they’re simply part of the wedding party and are being dealt with by their parents/guardians (I’d assume) and will be the only children at the wedding.

Post # 4
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What about a plus 1 on the invite but pop a separate note on asking her to let you know if she needs help finding a babysitter.


Post # 5
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

What age is her daughter? If her daughter is a teenager or older I wouldn’t see the problem, but if she is very young I would specify on the invite that the guest must be over a certain age. 

Post # 6
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@Irish-bride:  The daughter is 10.

Post # 7
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Other people may wonder why there’s a kid there and their kids weren’t allowed to come.

Don’t make acceptions or people will get pissed

Post # 8
4652 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

While I know where you are coming from and understand you dont want kids and why you dont want kids BUT… Do you know how hard it is to find a babysitter on NYE? 

You need to be prepared that not only may she not be able to find a babysitter but she might not come because she is offended. So i look at it for you in your opinion what is the lesser of 2 evils having her daughter at the wedding or not having her at the wedding?


Post # 9
3361 posts
Sugar bee

This is exactly the reason why no one is invited +1.  Each guest should be invited by name.  If you do invite her just with +1, then she is free to bring whomever she likes.  Even if that is the daughter that you do not want invited.

Call her up just before you are sending out the invites and ask her if she would like to bring a date for the evening and request their information.  Then invite her and that person by name.  If she indicates at that point that she wants to bring Suzy, then you tell her then, that no children are invited. 

Post # 12
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

since she does not have a SO it would be nice to have the 10year old be invited

Post # 13
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We have this issue kind of too. Anone who may rsvp  with kid will be called and reminded that it is a 18 and over affair. We are allowing 1st cousins and while they are under 18 they are family and we can trust our aunts and uncles not to allow their kids at the open bar… you can blame the booze or something if he really get upset or remind her that if it is such an issue you understand that she may not be able to make it but you stand firm on no kids

Post # 14
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I suggest you be firm with her. The only thing I will say is have you guys given any thought to the fact that it’s a holiday and a lot of parents might rsvp no, if their kids can’t come? I’m also having a no kids wedding mainly.

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