- 5 years ago
Happy Friday, fellow buzzers
I have a thought/process that I’d like to chew a bit within the community. I’d like to hear thoughts and opinions (please be kind – even if you disagree) because I’m not sure how I feel on it. I tried grouping it so it won’t feel overwhelming (or maybe it is to me!).
TOPIC: With my fiancé and my wedding right around the corner, things are getting down to the nitty gritty (especially invites). The topic of children have been discussed.
My cousins all have children under the age of 10 (some of them have up to 5 children in a household). If we allowed children for everyone, then we’d have an extremely huge wedding – which means a higher amount of children that will be around.
My guy’s cousins have children who are all around 14 and up (give or take 1-2 cousins who most likely won’t show due to the distance).
SUGGESTIVE ACTIONS:My future mother in law suggested that we view this situation by seeing any kid over the age of 14 as adults to be invited. They can’t drink but they can manage themselves. Fortunately on his side, there are only so many that are considered “young adults”.
On my side, I have several cousins who are separated/divorced. I also have cousins who have children under the age of 10 (one of them has four kids). My mother suggested that for those who are separated/divorced (technically only two of them), I can invite my cousin + one, and handwrite a note saying they could bring one of their kids if they would like (both are around 10). One lives far away and that type of invite would ensure she could come. So basically, this is saying to them “you have a plus one, I understand you’re not with someone, so it’s okay to bring one of your kids as your guest”.
WORRIES:I have a close friend who lives over 7 hours away (not as far as my one cousin I mentioned above), who will have a toddler by the time I get married. Another friend is due to give birth, and a cousin who is giving birth around that time, too. Although my cousin vocalized attending without the baby (she’s local), I am starting to get nervous that this “one size fits all” answer will strike a cord with a few people. I feel like I’m trying to make everyone happy – and the easiest way to handle is just to say “no kids except for kids in the wedding party.”
I also see how my FMOL and my mother are rationalizing things; my mother in law has a point – it’s an invite for a young adult so it should be fine. But in the eyes of someone who has young kids, I can imagine them being confused or hurt. I especially worry about people seeing my cousins with their kid’s as the plus one. To be honest, I think out of the two, the one that lives the furthest doing this.
Do I even clarify on the invite no kids when this is going on??
On top of all of this – my guy’s cousin is the DJ and my FMOL asked about his kids —all kids (I think three of them) UNDER OR AROUND 10!!!! Would they be considered part of the “wedding party”?? UGH.
I’m exhausting typing this. Any words of wisdom, thoughts, etc. will always be super appreciated!