(Closed) Plus One Drama…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Technically, if they’re engaged/married/living together then you should invite their SOs, if not then you don’t.

Post # 5
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I had the exact SAME issue with co workerz of mine. I had 6 that I really wanted to invite who I knew would want to bring their spouses. So, this may be tacky to some but I didnt care, I went to each of them before I sent the invites asking if they could come solo and sit w the work table. It was either that or not invite them at all. All 6 of them were thrilled to get an invite and happy to leave hubby at home w kids and not have to pay a sitter;) (Saving me AND them money lol)

Then I had the issue of single people who were not in a serious relationship…. I “assumed” that if they knew a ton of people coming (ie were family or IN the wedding party) that they didnt need a plus one because they had people to socialize with. If someone single who didnt know anyone was invited I of courss included a plus one for thrm becauze thats awkward so they should bring a friend, date whoever they want. I had 3 of FIs family members hint that they were brining guys as their “guest” and I flipping LOST IT!!!! I politely explained my reasoning to them, which they may not have agreed with but since these arent boyfriends I dont cars if they are offended, and they said they understood. 

In your case since you already invited and said no plus one I would just chat with your co worker and tell her its not just the money of the extra guest, its the space, and the fact that if she does it the other ladies might want to as well. If she still insists on bringing him and paying for him, I would politely say it just isnt an option and you are sorry. No more explanation needed. 

Post # 6
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Are they married? I’m not giving a +1 to anyone who isn’t married/engaged/living with their SO (aside from the bridal party). 

Post # 7
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s probably a good idea to not invite anyone from work if you can’t invite their significant others.

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@DaneLady:  Precisely this.

I would be offended if I was invited without my husband. I may not tell the bride, but I would definitely roll my eyes hard internally.

Post # 9
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@RunnerBride13:  really? Not even for people who don’t know the rest of your guests?

 

Post # 11
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@gelaine22:  I don’t think I have anyone in that position!

Post # 12
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Tell them you have no room for extras. Adults should be able to function for half a day without their SO there to hold their hand.

Post # 13
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m probably going to get flamed for this but… I actually don’t see the drama in inviting work mates solo if there’s a few of them who know each other & can all sit together. A couple of my friends have done it at their weddings & it’s worked fine. Generally we don’t all know each other’s partners which makes it a bit awkward.

In most social situations with my co-workers, 99% of times when partners are welcome, they rarely bring them. At our engagement party I invited about 10 workmates plus their partners – only 1 brought her partner & that’s cos they had another party to go to together later that night. Normally she goes solo without him.

But I guess it’s a case of knowing your audience/guests?

Post # 14
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I actually hadn’t thought of NOT plus one-ing some girls from my former job, but now that I think about it, it may be better. We were all like sisters and I can see them having plenty of fun at a table together alone…. but then there’s the one work guy who would have to have his wife. In fact, he probably wouldn’t attend otherwise. lol

Post # 15
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@SoonToBeMrsRiley:  That’s basically the only reason I’m giving my workmates +1 for their partners/husbands, cos we’re also having some of partner’s workmates & I can’t imagine inviting a bunch of married/committed guys without their partners… is that a weird double standard? Maybe LOL.

Post # 16
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mcgoo:  I actually agree. I would understand. If I worked with the person and they didn’t really know my Fiance but they wanted to invite a bunch of friends from work that I would be seated with I don’t think I would mind at all. I’d realize that there are guest list restraints and I know the bride will have considered that I needed people to be around because she invited other work friends…

The topic ‘Plus One Drama…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors